...you make me wanna...

System Time: 8:13 AM
shit. am sooo nervous. as in over-to-the-top and i can feel my heart beating and i can barely type..

System Time: 8:27 AM
arrrgh. /me kicks the depression out of my system.. for once in my life i should do the RIGHT thing, ok?
if i'm doing the right thing, why do i feel so freakin lousy? *sighs* anyway, it'll pass.. i'll get over it..

System Time:9:52 AM
Ma'am M's not going to work today which is supposed to be good news but she left a LOT of workload to do.. stuff that i don't know shit about.. i feel like i'm treading in a crocodile-laden lake.. at least i backed up the database that she uses..

System Time: 12:14 AM
i'm talking to him thru net send and am so nervous.. i'm waiting for his reply...fuuuck.

System Time: 12:51 PM
arrrggh. panira kasi ng plano sa buhay. i HATE this feeling. i thought i've passed this.. everything was so stable and comfortable with dex.. now i feel like i'm in highschool again, wondering what the guy i like really feels about me.. i can't believe i asked him that question last friday.. it just goes to show that i was really out of my mind.. this is all Sir Philbert's fault.. HE was the one who chose him as one of the contractors here in Prumerica, hehe..
you know what,scratch that! it's HIS fault. how could he be so freakin smart anyway! not just technically.. you know, street-smart (tama ba?) .. basta.. bad trip. tsaka ndi pa siya mayabang. bad trip tlga. grrr. tas ang kyut pa. huhuhu. siyet. tapos, tapos.... arrgh. i'll shut up na. -_-

System Time: 1:13 PM
i can't shut up! it's the only thing in my mind. the WHOLE weekend i've pondered and questioned myself..was any of it just my imagination? was i just wasted? how could i do this to my bf? am i out of my mind? (well, we've already answered that one) endless questions.. gaaah. i hate it. and here i am super nervous 'cause he's just 2 PCs away..

System Time: 1:36 PM
dex just called.. God, i feel such a bitch.. shitt. he was so sweet and everything.. good thing he couldn't see my face 'cause i had GUILT written all over it..why the fuck do i not have a lousy bf? why does he have to be so loving and sincere and honest and thoughtful and sweet? i feel so sick with guilt.. how could i risk everything we have for this.. and how could i like HIM so much! not just the wala-lang kinda like.. but like as in how Dao likes Shan Cai LOL.. arrrgghhh! and it's just not me, what would my friends think? they all ADORE dex.. they love him more than they love me! lol! they ALL think how lucky i am and that dex is their ideal guy.. i just want to shout out that he's not mine! i want someone independent, confident, one who speaks his mind and aawayin ako pag dapat akong awayin.. /me mukmok sa tabi. waah. i feel so evil. :~(

System Time: 1:50 PM
*wapaks sarili* FOCUS, geri! you have work to do!! arrrrghhh.
waaah buti na lng wala si Ma'am M.

System Time: 1:55 PM
ate chaaaaa now is not the time to be speechless! pleaseeee what would you do if you were on my shoes? waah. pwede bang magsick leave? lol

System Time: 2:02 PM
didn't i just tell myself to focus? grr. i have a deadline to meet and complete this form i'm working on.. but i just can't concentraaateee.

System Time: 2:07 PM
oh, come on ate pretz, now is not the time to play your mp3s! waaaah
i asked him "pano si jennifer?" i was referring to his gf.. and he said "consequence na yun" (or something to that effect, can't really remember i was so nervous, i don't know why!) arrrgh. pano si dex? dex is dex. he knows me inside out already. (and i mean that literally and figuratively LOL) and i've invested sooo much in our relationship, i feel like i have nothing left more to give.. our WHOLE future's already planned, down to the number of kids we want and their names! what if we're not even sexually compatible! AHAHAHA! now my mind's gone haywire..what if i go ahead with this and hate him after a week and then i'll be ALL ALONE til my dying days? shiiit. double shit. STOP THINKINGGG GERIIIIII!
huhuhu.

System Time: 2:56 PM
i'll just think about my money problems.. hehe. they're waaay easier to solve.. i'm expecting to be bankrupt for at least 2 months, 'cause i have to pay my pension.. that's 26000 bucks.. wahaha..i dont' want to spend any of my measly savings so i'm just depending on my salary..i'm also expecting half of the payment for the site i made this week.. i was only able to give the invoice last saturday.. i don't think i'll be able to achieve my 100k mark at the end of the year.. i'd hafto make websites non-stop to be able to get even close to that..

System Time: 3:57 PM
i wonder how long i'll be dwelling on this.. or how long i'll be losing sleep over this.. hmm.. i need to buy a book. yep. that's it.. a book can help me get my mind off things.. hmm.. just remembered the song You Make me Wanna by Usher.. it's the song for the unfaithful, LOL!
hmm.. just gonna focus on my plans.. what drumset to buy.. when.. how much would i spend for it.. LOL! see? my life is so damn simple before all this.. i need drum lessons.. i want to learn how to "tone" a drum set.. (i don't know the term they use) then the eternal debate of whether to buy an Ipod or an IRiver..hmm.. LOL! i'm so weird, demmit.

System Time: 4:27 PM
i'm gonna post this blog now.. i'm leaving after an hour.. bye all!

p.s. ate cha....

...errr

when i was in highschoool, i remember telling some of my friends what my ideal man is.. i told them,

first of all, he must be smarter than me.. and taller.. and confident, but not mayabang.. there's a big difference between confident and mayabang, so i'd appreciate the former.. then i also said that i want someone who smells good all the time..

of course, that was when i was just a kid and didn't know any better.. later on i realized that my expectations where too high and there is no such thing as an ideal man so as i had relationships, my list shortened and sometimes, if my new "prospect" just gets one in my list, i'd say, "what the hell, nobody's perfect anyways" and go on with the relationship..

there was rudolph, my college, my first boyfriend and only ex-bestfriend.. he was confident, definitely taller (6 footer pa!), but forgive me for saying this, but i'm waaay smarter than he is, lol.. (i mean, my only basis is the ISM qualifications 'cause he didn't pass that test)

then there was Ton-ton.. uber cute (he looks like Kenneth Duremdes, the pba player), but he was younger than me and when i was studying college, he was still in highschool, so we kinda have different interests and priorities.. we're still friends though, i see him sometimes in our village..

then CJ.. hmm. okay. he was a mistake. LOL! i don't know what i was thinking. he didn't even have ONE item on my list.. (he had the mayabang part though lol.. as i said, i didn't know what i was thinking!)

and of course, my present bf, my momi.. *sighs* .. his confidence needs improvement.. sometimes it pisses the hell out of me when i have to push him towards some security guard just to ask for directions or when we're in a restaurant, I end up giving our order 'cause he was too shy to talk to the waiter... i could go on, and on, but we've talked about it now and he's really trying his best to clear some of the issues i've told him.. AND he loves me to death.. and i love him too..and we've been together for more than 3 years and even planning our future together..

THEN... shit happens. no, not with your present bf, (everything's perfect there) your unrealistic expectations for an ideal man turns out to be realistic after all. you see him, and he's aweeesome. super smart. creative. funny. cute. tall. confident. humble. SHIIIIT!
arrrgh. so i try with all my might to empty your mind of thoughts of him. then suddenly you find yourself smiling alone just thinking of the look he gave you. i can't even describe the look here. basta, arrgh. i could picture it in my head perfectly. *sighs*

then i see my momi.. and i don't have the heart to let go. i could hurt him soooo much, and that power just makes me feel like an evil person.. 'cause i do love him. and he loves me. and that's that. we've planned our future together, and i'm sticking to the plan.

and him? arrrgh. he becomes a post in my blog. one for the archives. at least i see him everyday... and that's all i could do,... to look.

...it's my lucky day today

System Time: 10:44 AM

i'm wearing a skirt. (whattt?!)

yeah, it's this drat gathering that made me wear a skirt in the office.. and JUST MY LUCK to see my former officemates at Infostructure when they were on their way to the foodpark.. what makes it worse is there were FOUR of them.. i mean, if it was just one and he/she tells the other info people that he saw me wearing a skirt, no one would believe him, LOL! but yes, it's my lucky day today and Ate liza, Ate weng, Eugene and Sir Teo saw me.. Ate Liza said..
"si geri? si geri!!" while pointing at my freakin skirt..
i haven't seen them in ages! i had to explain that i was actually wearing my costume and Eugene laughed it off and said i should wear a costume more often then.. all i need now is for the Radix people to see me and my day would be complete.. LOL! fuckk!

System Time: 12:54 PM
bini-reak in ko yung sapatos ko bwiset! lol! God, i didn't know that wearing high heels could kill you.. believe me, it tortures you in every step.. :~(


*sighs*

i have found a new found respect for girls who walk around in their stilletos (? i don't even know the freakin spelling of that shoe!)

ANYWAY, (i'm closing the subject, lol) i thought that my F4 fanatic days are over but all i need was to see Ken on TV singing and i'm starstruck once again.. God, he is gorgeous. waaaah! and he sings live! (unlike Jerry Yan who lipsynches all the time) ate Chary happened to see their concert at Azio channel and he recorded it just for me.. (did i mention that i love my sister? lol!)

System Time: 1:04 PM
it's so quiet in the IT dept.. Sir Felix and Sir Philbert are sleeping and the dynamic duo, Mario and Raymond are on the lobby to fetch some stuff needed for the Gathering.. grabe, kinareer talaga ng IT ang gathering.. the Seminar Room was so festive with all the bandaritas, a real banana tree, and Wooden pots and spoons..it's so highschool.. and here i am wearing this God-forbidden skirt (i did say i was gonna close the subject, right? but i can't HELP it! arrrgghh)

*sighs again*

why do i feel like this is gonna be one long day?

...bariles (inside joke, sorry..lol)

System Time: 12:53 PM

saw erlyn today at the yosihan behind our building.. good thing i saw her 'cause she apparently changed her blog url again so my days of going to her old blog and being dismayed at the non-existence of a new entry is finished.. *wapaks erlyn* bat di mo tinext man lng saken iha?

at nag-iba pa pala ng numero! *wapaks again* you must have stalker issues.. *pats erlyns head* lol!

tomorrow's gonna be the Employee gathering for the HO in Prumerica.. IT Dept's the sponsor so everyone tries to pitch in whatever needs to be done.. the bad thing is they keep on bugging us to wear costumes when we are in fact, not prumerica employees.. they're theme's Linggo ng Wika and i kinda pity Mario 'cause they keep on telling him to prepare his Lapu-lapu costume.. HELLO?? Linggo ng Wika, dibuh? hindi naman National Heroes day.. sows. (or as chona would say at chona.blogspot.com.. dAh!!)

anyway, i have a deadline today to finish all form designs so i'm gonna do just that now.. brb

System Time: 2:17 PM
They're going to have a question and answer game tomorrow at the gathering, so Sir J's editing the powerpoint for the questions... While he was doing this, Ate pretz approached him and asked some work-related question.. She kept on repeating her question 'cause Sir J was so engrossed on fixing the Powerpoint.. Ate pretz finally said..
"Sir! pansinin nyo naman ako!"
then sir J said
"Ha? Mas importante toh!!"

LOL!

System Time: 4:57 PM
Ma'am M told me to go to Ortigas Agency tomorrow.. hmm.. is this good news or bad news? i'll take it as good news 'cause if it rains hard and i get stranded there, i'd have a solid reason not to go in that gathering.. harharhar

System Time: 5:26 PM
uy pinauwi na kami due to the heavy rains.. bye now!

...monday na naman :(

System Time: 2:18 PM
just finished reading Dan Brown's Digital Fortress.. it's better than Deception Point, although there is a trend in Dan Brown's books..the villain is always the person whom the main character works for..his/her boss in short.. the supposed good guy is bad pala.. but even if Digital Fortress has this trend, it has lots of twists that were really unexpected.. plus it's about programming so double the coolness, lol..

System Time: 3:04 PM
just talked to Tita Cora, my agent from Sun Life.. i bought another product, their Pension plan.. i chose the 20/20 mode.. 20 years to pay and 20 years maturity.. so by age 43, i'll receive 1M.. i know the peso will depreciate but as Robert Kiyosaki said in Rich Dad, Poor Dad, a pension plan is better than no plan at all.. hehe.. next month i'll start buying pigs and ducks (i'm not joking! lol!) .. it's for the farm and there's real money there.. i could earn at least 20% per pig.. hehe..


System Time:6:22 PM
i'm going home now.. bye all!

...BWISET

System Time: 8:11 AM
..i know it's early to be counting the hours until log-out-time but i can't help myself.. it's Friday and i just want to get out of this office and not think about Base plan insurance, Riders, Ortigas Agency, etc.. i'm assigned to create the Life Planner System.. so i kinda know more about insurance now.. btw, are you already covered? lol! i sound like a freakin Life Planner.. well, anyway, if you aren't, you should be. you gotta think about the future, whether you want to or not.. I bought an Endowment plan this year, from Sun Life (bwahaha, the LP in prumerica almost killed me.. i told her, "it's okay if you kill me! my family's gonna get double the premium! lol!" it's just like saving up, but you're also insured so it's like hitting two birds with one stone..(?) at least my family won't think of my funeral expenses when i die.. or if i'm still alive by 40, i'll get 500,000 php (or more, if their dividends are high).. i could use it to travel.. or add it to my retirement funds.. or if my priorities change, i could convert it to Life Insurance.. i'll probably get another plan, a pension sort of plan, 'cause i really want to retire early.. around 40.. that's 20+ years from now so i've got to start investing as early as now if i want that to happen..it's just like my father said, since i can't really stop myself from spending, i'd just hafto invest on stuff like insurance and real estate so i'd be forced to save for its monthly payments..

..was able to sleep early last night, just around 9 pm.. I really felt the difference this morning of an 8-hour sleep against my usual 5 hours..it was easier for me to get up though after my shower, i did put on my night cream instead of my sunblock, lol..i looked at the product in my hand and said "what the f*ck am i doing?" lol.

i'm going out later with my HS friends, Kate, Chie, Jing and the new mother, Lara.. i'm really happy that we meet more often these days.. it's always good to keep your old friends, and i've been friends with them for the longest time..

System Time: 2:59 PM
shit. life really is a bitch. how can i be perfectly fine a few hours ago and now, a total wreck.

i don't want to write about it now.. i might cry again. i've already humiliated myself enough.. all i want to do is get out of this office and not see the people around here.. *tingin sa taas* fuck it. brb

System Time: 3:51 PM
putah. pati ba naman pag-upo ko pupunahin pa. tangina. tangina inabutan pa ko ng chocolate. ano kala nila saken, parang bata na pag inabutan ng candy, titigil umiyak. hindi ako ganon! putah khet bigyan nyo ko ng candy iiyak pa rin ako! LOL!!! ..|..

System Time: 4:04 PM
this is what i get from crying in front of everybody.. everyone talks to me with this patronizing tone that drives me insane.. and worse, you actually feel their pity.. FUCKKK. BWISET. layuan nyo ko pls. :(

System Time: 4:48 PM
fuccck. nacharge na sa credit card yung hosting. putah ang daya sabi dapat meh approval. fuck fuck fuck.

hay.alis na ko bago ako mahimatay sa inis. babay.

...kikay wish list

System Time: 8:48 AM
i have a whole line of Origins products in my wish list..

>>>>Reflection Perfection - Mattifying face makeup
>>>>All and Nothing Pressed Powder
>>>>Zero-oil instant matte finish
>>>>Out of Trouble 10 minute mask

*sighs* vanity comes with a price that i can't afford.

System Time: 12:01 PM
read sistah's blog.. it's been a long time since her last blog and i've been bugging her to publish something every time i chat with her..finally, i got my wish (sort of).. she posted her letter for her ex and despite the sad effect of that letter (she's breaking up with him), i liked it 'cause she's such a good writer..i really miss her blogs and laughing out loud from reading her posts..this time of course, the letter didn't have her humorous lines but it's so well-written that i wish i had her talent when it comes to words..to sistah, i hope you continue writing online..i'll be your # 1 fan, lol! (uy, i'll be. ahaha. peace sistah!)
System Time: 4:33 PM
ate ging went to Makati so i'll be able to hitch a ride with her today.. Hurrahh! i'll be able to go home earlier and get a free ride! *grins*

bye!!!

...couch potato

System Time: 7:17 AM
Good morning! i've been going to work at this ungodly hour since last week..i've learned to appreciate it 'cause it means i get 2 hours OT when i leave around 6 pm.. just finished reading Jane Green's book, Straight Talking.. after 3 books from Jane Green (Jemima J, Bookends and Straight Talking) i've discovered 2 things.. she starts every novel very well, makes you want to finish the book in one seating.. the bad news is she's not very good in endings..it feels very rushed and incomplete..i just hate books like that, it makes no sense to make a complex storyline when you'll just end it abruptly and leaves you feeling unsatisfied.. it has happy endings, don't get me wrong, but she tends to cramp all conclusions in the last few pages that it makes you say, "that's it?"...i'm such an "Ending-Makes-The-Book" person pa naman, i'm more of the feeling i get after i read it, not during..so if the ending sucks, it kinda diminishes all the good memories i had with the book, hehe..anyway, i've read all my new books so i'll probably go to Powerbooks this week to check out what's new..

System Time: 8:02 AM
still don't feel like coding.. i had a hard time getting up this morning unlike yesterday when i felt refreshed even if i woke up at 4:45 am.. this morning, i was so sleepy i'm not even sure if i shampooed my hair, lol.. i don't even feel like eating yet, though i did buy 2 doughnuts, i'll eat them later when i feel that my digestive system's working already..i slept before 11 pm last night, same as the oher night, so it's probably just one of those days that your brain just won't function properly.. watched my taped shows again.. i love Twin Sisters.. it stars Wallace Huo(?), he's Hilton in Dolphin Bay and he's suuuper cute..gwapooo.. i love it 'cause it's unpredictable and directed very well, nice kilig moments.. unlike our soaps here where kilig moments mean the couple embracing, then smiling and staring at each other for like 5 minutes and the viewer wants to say "enough staring already!!" The director of Twin Sisters (and other chinovelas i've watched) know when to emphasize on a moment.. like yesterday's episode, when Annabelle hugged Wesley(Wallace).. you know in basketball, where they give instant-replays? it was like that, first the hug itself, then Annabelle's face, then Wesley's reaction.. i liked it 'cause i saw the characters' varied reactions...Wesley appeared so shocked and uneasy and Annabelle so sweet and so open.. *sighs*

showing that i'm not a total anti-local soap, i also tape Joyride, a new show by GMA 7.. features some of the StarStruck teens like Rainier, Mark, Yasmien, Dion, Katrina, etc.. also stars uber-gwapo Cogie Domingo (who simply stands out to the pathetic acting of the others) too bad he's paired to this morena-chinese (yeah, morena-chinese! yep, it's a first for me too, lol) non-looker girl..i pity Cogie Domingo, really, 'cause he should be a big star by now (at least to DingDong Dantes' or Richard Gutierrez' level) if handled by a decent manager.. i saw him once in Glorietta and i felt my jaw drop by his sheer awesomeness (lol) yun ang StarStruck, diba? lol! anyway, back to the show, think the teeners improved with their acting skills (except for Jennylyn who simply cannot act if her life depended on it, and of course Rainier, who can't stop smiling).. it's just the first week so i hope it gets better..

it's 8:37 AM and the office people are here already so i'll start coding..

bye for now, have a TV-filled day! (God, i wish we have TiVo)

...so boringggggg

my days have become one big routine.. i go to work, go up to the 34th floor to log in..i then go back down to the ground floor to smoke...then i go up and attempt to work.. at around 10:30 am i become fidgety 'cause i'm waiting for 11 am to have my early lunch.. after lunch i go down again to smoke.. i go up and sleep until 1 pm.. (or until the bosses arrive) i try to work for real this time, except at times like this, when the IT people have their meeting and we're free to do anything we like..(sleep, surf, text, call, whatever).. at around 3 pm i become uneasy again 'cause i'm waiting for the right time to ask Mario or Raymond if they want to go down at the foodpark to eat and smoke..after that, i approximately do 2 hours of work again (depending on the load) while constantly glancing at my System Time if it's 6 pm already.. i go home, after Dex has texted me that he's already at the foodpark waiting for me..and i meet Dex (the best part of my day) and he accompanies me to my house . I eat my dinner... If it's a Monday i watch Queer Eye first or if it's a Tuesday, i watch The OC.. but any other day, just my taped TV shows (Twin Sisters and Joyride, hehe).. i then lie in bed and read my latest book to help me fall asleep (sometimes i'm off to la la land before i even finish one paragraph, lol)

that, is my so-called life.

hehe. so boring. but still, i feel so bloody lucky. *grins*

...it's UP!!

finally! have uploaded the files to their main host..

www.eqgroup.biz

hehe.

i'll be going home now.. got here early, around 7 am. bye!

...i love the way you love me

System Time: 2:50 PM

/me sniffs.

i just hate it when i have a cold. grr. hate, hate, hate it.

anyway, went to see Lara last night..the experience of seeing your friend, lying in bed and peeing blood makes me forget about wanting to have a baby..i guess i'm just not ready to go through all that now..

we left at around 8:30 and went to Mocha Blends to have our dinner.. it's always great to be surrounded by friends..i didn't want to tell them at first about dex but then, they kept on asking where he was so i did.. i got the "waaat?" reaction as expected.. i can't blame them, 'cause Dex is the boyfriend any girl could ask for. He's caring, sensitive, loving..*sighs* i just want to know if He's the one i love or i love the way he treats me..

System Time: 4:07 PM
just had a talk with Erlyn. waaah. i love you Erlyn. i feel so much happier now. i already texted Dex if he wants to meet today and this is what he said.

"YEHHEEEYYY! AND SAYA KO MI. OO AS IN OO. SAYA SAYA KO. I LOVE YOU MI"

/me can't stop grinning. my cold has miraculously disappeared. i don't know what the fuck i was thinking. God. thank you! thank you for friends like Erlyn!

/me achooo! lol! so i guess my cold isn't really gone but i do feel a whole lot better.

i mean, what makes a person, a person. isn't it his character? his values? his actions? and i love dex precisely for all these. i love the way he texts me everyday. i love the way he makes me feel special. he cares for me and makes me feel like i'm the only girl in the world. i love the way he smiles or laughs out loud when he watches something funny on TV. i love the way he tries to cover up his bisaya accent but almost always fails. i love it the way he automatically reaches out for my hand when we walk side by side. i love the way he lipsynchs the songs on the radio with his face in full diva mode, lol! i love the way he quiets down when i'm angry at him. he knows that shouting matches will do us no good. we both love watching movies and rock music. We're supposed to watch Hoobastank together, so there's hope for that yet. I LOVE YOU MOMI!!


/ME kaboinks sarili. what was i thinking????

...another miserable day -_-

System Time: 8:56 AM
arrrrrgghhhh. i only had 1 1/2 hours of sleep.. was doing the website until 4:30 AM

it's on www15.brinkster.com/nakng/index2.asp temporarily.just discovered that my links in this blog don't work. grr.

i've cancelled my application to Smart 'cause Globe has a promo where you can buy prepaid units for 6 months, 0% interest..after much thinking, i've decided to stick with prepaid 'cause i could just imagine how wild my monthly bill would turn up..i absolutely have no self-control..*sighs*

i'm still deciding on what unit to buy..more than likely it's gonna be a motorola e398 (the stereo phone) but with the rate i'm going, i'll probably change my mind (again) and choose a different unit..

System Time: 1:54 PM
i feel sooo sick. my throat hurts, my stomach hurts, i'm itchy all over (i have this nasty bites on my neck.. i don't know where it came from!) and i feel like i could throw up any second..i just want this day to end and lie in my bed. but then, i'd hafto visit lara in medical city..she's a mom now and i wouldn't be much of a friend if i don't at least visit her..at least i got here in the office early, around 8:30 am so i could leave at 5:30 pm and meet kate then we'll go together to Medical City..

System Time: 4:42 PM
yey. just 1 hour and 18 minutes to go.
System Time: 5:14 PM
i'll post this blog now. bye.

...the day

There's no easy way to break somebody's heart.

God, i hate James Ingram.

I did it. I finally told Dex i needed some space. It was horrible. He kept on telling me, "kung kasalanan man ang magmahal ng sobra, yun lang ang kasalanan ko".. and i told him, "lahat ng sobra masama diba" and he was crying and i was crying. but i kept on holding my tears 'cause he was crying enough for the both of us. it was horrible. i wanted to tell him "joke, joke, joke! gotcha didn't it?" every single minute that i just stared right ahead just so i could keep my mouth shut.

i couldn't begin to explain why i did it..i know people just wouldn't understand..i mean, who would want to break up with their boyfriend who simply adores and loves them with every single breath of his body? that's what every girl wants, right?

apprently, there's one girl who doesn't. and that's me.

i wrote him this letter..i'm not copying here to defend myself. i just want to be able to read it, so i wouldn't forget and i would always remember the real reason behind it. (just keep knives, blades, sleeping pills away from me)


hi mi

i know it's hard to understand.. i know that it's gonna be extremely difficult..but i think, we need space from each other.. it's all about finding your own happiness..i want you to be happy, but not necessarily happy because of me..i feel like you're always leaning on me.. for support, for your happiness..i want you to be stronger..i want you to have your own dreams..own goals in life..i don't want to be the sole reason for every action you do..and i think the only way you could truly achieve that is if we stop seeing each other, for now.. i want you to find yourself first..and when you do, if we're still for each other, we'll have our happy ending..but if in the process, you realize that you had the short end of our relationship (or that i'm a total bitch) or you'll find someone better and much, much nicer than me,..then i guess you'll have to thank me for setting you free..i'll always be here for you, i'll always, always, always, alwayyyyss be your friend..and always know that I truly, truly love you.. it's just that i want you to love yourself too.


God, what have i done. He kept on asking me what he has done wrong..i didn't tell him anything 'cause the only reason i could think of was he simply loved me too much.

i need a friend. *hugs sarili*

... my web attempt

System Time: 1:59 PM

TGIF! didn't go to work yesterday (again!) but it was a productive day 'cause i was able to change the layout of the site.. they already approved it (with minor changes in color) so i'm pretty psyched..

i don't have the home page yet 'cause i wanted it to have a different format and i'm figuring it out how i'm gonna make the first page attractive.. anyway, it's a vast improvement from my first layout (which i don't plan on showing to anyone!)

check it out in
here

it's a database driven site (all the sales tips and links) and i'm finally getting the hang of ASP.. so cool, it's almost like VB..(most of the functions are the same)

i was able to talk to Clive a while a go on the phone.. first thing he said was "how are you?" and i said "okay lang.." hehe. he laughed and mimicked me and said "okay leng"

anyway, i'm happy that i was able to finish all the dynamic links and text.. ASP is sooo cool. lol.

System Time: 3:11 PM
read something on my email (sent by Kate).. it said:

Money isn't everything. There's Mastercard and Visa

how true. lol! there's another..

Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk?

and another...

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.....

EHEHEHE. these are like my motto in life! haha!

System Time: 4:01 PM
my money has been credited! yey (remember when i was debited 5k by that stupid ATM machine).. plus i got my tax refund.. i'm rich. LOL! (in my dreams..) i'm hoping to go home early..besides, it's a month end so they're going to do batch processing and who am i to share in the server's resources? :)

System Time: 4:31 PM
i'm gonna buy my own domain before this year ends..i'm still thinking of domain a name.. (geri.com, gewi.com, cheche.com are ALL taken. demmit.)

System Time: 4:46 PM
ate chary said that SMART called and said they'll deliver the phone early next week.. yahoooo! *so excited* it's a Voyager phone (or Smart Amazing Phone 2).. wee! new things are always exciting..

my sister's gonna turn down the Singapore job.. she will instead work for a company called Emerson. it's in Ortigas so that's bad news for me 'cause i won't be able to hitch a ride with her anymore.. (awwww)

System Time: 5:53 PM
i'm going home na.. babay! have a happy weekend!

...latest news!

Roni's preggy! how cool!

...TGIF (i think)

System Time: 2:21 PM
gaah,..ang gulo dito sa office! toner boxes are on the floor, laptops, pcs.. (i've got 3 CPUs under my table)..foot thick scratch paper, trash cans filled to the brim, plus frantic IT personnel..i keep reminding myself that it's a friday, for it feels very much like a hectic monday.

how about me.. well, i'm blogging so let's just say they can panic all they want,.. i'm gonna blog. :p

i'm finally a Senior Programmer.. i'm free from the 2 bond program and i'm going to Radix later to submit my resignation paper..instead, i'm gonna be a contractor for Radix starting August 1..

System Time: 2:32 PM
i have two new books.. Jemima J and Bad Heir Day.. i've started reading Jemima J and am already halfway thru.. it's an easy read and i really like the heroine, Jemima.. she's fat (200+ lbs) but pretty and she's working out and dieting to meet this dude she met on the net.. yeah, i know, it's a story that's been quite overused but still, Jemima is very funny and interesting. She's a journalist but she only gets to write an advice column and the only time she could really write is when she's helping another officemate's article..it's a love story, of course (why the heck would i buy this book if it wasn't lol!)..she has a crush on Ben (another officemate) and then there's Brad, the American from the net..so far, she already lost 12 lbs just because she finally got a life (i.e. became friends with Ben, went out, etc) and simply didn't crave food as much as before.. but now that Brad (the internet guy) wants to meet, she's out to conquer her food addiction and lose (a lot of) weight..
can't wait to read the rest of it..

i still have 14 stamps to go on my Powerbooks track card.. God, that's still 2800 bucks.. i need to spend that money on books before sept 12 (the deadline.. it's only valid for a year) to get my Discount card.. it has 75 stamps in total.. so that means i already spend 12,200 bucks on books for the past year! *jaw drops*

Daddy also bought a lot of DVDs again.. we have Shrek 2, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, 13 Going to 30.. i'm gonna have my DVD Marathon this weekend (yey)..

i'm very easy to please, noh?

things that make me happy:
1. going out with dex
2. watching movies
3. reading
4. lying in bed (while reading or watching a movie)
5. hugging my pillow
6. dining out

i couldn't be happier. (^_^)

System Time: 3:02 PM
going out early, around 5 pm to go to Radix.. a thought just occured to me.. i could read Jemima J while on the bus.. yey! (i'm so weird, shit. lol)

System Time: 3:19 PM
i soooo wanna get out of this office already.. all i'm thinking is if Jemima J will become thin.. lol.. i'm going to the Makati Agency to install some software so i'll post this blog now.. bye all! have a movie-filled weekend!

p.s. saw I-Robot already, it's okay.. not bad.

...patay na ba?

System Time: 5:27 PM
i am going home in about 30 minutes.. yey! i didn't go to work yesterday 'cause i had to make the aggravating task of going to RCBC Boni and file a complaint..

ei, have a new 'do. it's pretty short so some people are calling me "boy!" hehe.. actually i got mixed reviews.. sir felix said i now look 12 years old... ate pretz said "pa-girl" daw ako.. carlo said it made me look thinner (nyeh lol) ..sir tony said dalaga na daw ako.. 12 years old to dalaga? ano ba tlga? >_<

actually i've always had my hair cut this way, so i don't feel uncomfortable with it.. just so happened that it took me a long time before i got my hair cut.. (1. katamad 2. mahal)

System Time: 6:03 PM
think i only finished one module today.. (delete function of Search Screen).. uwi na ko ..babay!

...what a bloody day

System Time: 1:03 PM

i'm actually happy that it's a friday.. fridays usually mean deadlines for me so i have this panicky feeling each time i wake up and realize that it's a friday .. but, today was an exception.. i woke up giddy with the realization that i'm NOT going to work tomorrow (no OT yey!) and i can stay up late today and wake up late tomorrow.. (double yey!) i am now, more than ever, staring at my System Time as if i could make it move faster by sheer concentration..

System Time: 2:17 PM
hoobastank's having a concert here on august 17!!! waaaaaaaaah!!

i wanna go. as in.

hoobastankkkkk. i'm gonna tell dex.. it's our songggg (the reason).. waaah!

*excited*

i'm gonna buy tickets before i change my mind. yeyyy!

System Time:3:03 PM
just called Koji at Radix and he was telling me some story where he searched in google "olats si chipper" then my blog came as the #1 result.. lol!! i was trying not to laugh out loud 'cause Sir Joel just sits behind me cause in the first place, i'm not supposed to be talking in the phone during office hourslet alone laughing my ass off.. lol.. i think i sounded like someone hyperventilating and choking at the same time.. anyway, we're gonna hit the 2 year mark as a Radix employee on the 21st.. (koji and i are still debating whether it's the 21st or the 22nd) Koji said that if he doesn't get deployed in Unilab then he'll resign by month end..I've decided to become a contractor (hoping i could save some money, at least) and i think my contract's gonna be extended 'til the end of the year here in prumerica.. i have this goal for the end of this year.. to be able to save 100,000 bucks.. then i'm going to apply at Citibank where they could be my financial planner.. (they now offer financial planning for as low as 100,000).. now all i need to do is stop spending. har har har. i'm so yare. lol!

i can do this you know, all i have to do is leave my credit card at home (lol).. i'm saving a bit actually (a tiny bit hehe) 'cause i only withdraw money twice a month.. just enough to cover my daily expenses (transpo, food, cell load) but then there was father's day.. mother's day.. lara's baby shower.. daddy's birthday.. hay. if only people would stop celebrating then i would not be obliged to buy some atrocious gift and be able to save some money! lol!

System Time: 4:21 PM
shiiiiit. my account's been debited for 5k! gaah. i already called up RCBC boni and i'll have to go there on Monday to file a complaint. shiiit. what a hassle. shiiit.

System Time:4:25 PM
shiiiiit again. *sighs*

i'm gonna post this blog now, before i lose my senses and forget..have a ATM-hassle-free weekend!

p.s. did i mention how sucky this is?

... bookworm (~~~)

System Time: 10:47 AM
i changed my mind. i'm now getting the Voyager phone (aka Smart Amazing Phone 2).. it's free on plan 800 and the contract's just for 24 months (unlike O2 XDA II that's free for plan 1200 for 36 months).. i've thought about it and decided that 1200 bucks a month is too much for my meager salary.. looked up the reviews of the Voyager phone.. it's pretty good.. 65 TFT screen,Bluetooth, integrated camera (no more ugly attachment) and is powered by Windows Mobile 2003.. (so it has MS Word, media player, etc).. all i want is to be able to read e-books even when i'm not in front of a pc so i guess that phone will do.. the only bad thing i've read is the battery life's low but if i always synch it to my outlook, it already charges in it's cradle so that's not really an issue for me..but what really bothers me is that it doesn't have porma points.. (read: looks awful. bulky and rectangular. arrgh) *sighs* guess style is something i can't afford lol!

System Time: 12:36 PM
IT people are all out for lunch.. good news for me 'cause i can surf the net without looking behind my back every so often..

System Time: 12:52 PM
i've always been a bookworm since i was a kid.. i think i went to every single bookworm phase.. Sweet Valley High, Sweet Dreams (if someone hands me a Sweet Dreams book, i would still read it. lol!), SVU (sweet valley university.. i'm a fan of the Wakefield twins, bat buh!).. my first porn experience is by reading Mills & Boons hidden in my mother's closet.. At highschool, my authors evolved from Francine Pascal to Judith McNaught, Sidney Shelton, Lisa Kleypas, and other romantic novel authors (you can stop gagging now).. Now i'm more of a chick-lit fan.. Sophie Kinsella (shopaholic), Megan McCafferty (sloppy firsts, Second Helpings), Candace Bushnell (Sex in the city, Trading Up) and any other book with a cool cover (hehe).. it's not a giant leap from Sweet Valley books but adding Paulo Coelho, J.K. Rowling, J.R.R Tolkien, Dan Brown and Nicholas Sparks to my favorite authors list do.. (though I'm not a fan of Dan Brown any more after reading The Da Vinci Hoax...damn him for shaking my faith! lol! *sign of the cross* ) I've read every single Paulo Coelho book (and this includes Eleven Minutes and The Devil and Miss Prymm.. these books aren't still available here in Manila but I've read them courtesy of my Asian flying sister) I probably inherited my love of books from my sisters, who are constantly being scolded by my mother to not read while lying in bed (we still don't listen).. I like to imagine things.. and i always seem to relate and feel for the protaganist in every novel i've read..(plus i'm such a cry-baby.. i cry on sad chapters hehe) There's always a book beside my pillow and i feel inadequate when i'm not reading anything.. currently i'm reading Pink Slip by Rita Ciresi.. it was hard to read at first (the author kept on screwing the time line, i didn't know if i was reading the past or the present) but after a few chapters, it has become an interesting read..(i laughed out loud in some chapters.. but then again, i'm easy to please hehe) I also have this small book in my bag.. (for spiritual enlightment lol) it's by Saint JoseMaria Escriva.. founder of Opus Dei (yeah, the same organization Dan Brown unshamely ruined in Da Vinci Code) it's THE WAY.. it's like the many ways on how we could live a purposeful and God-filled life..i like some of the things like:

1. Maturity. Stop making faces and acting up like a child! Your bearing ought to reflect the peace and order in your soul.

2. Don't say, "That's the way I am -- it's my character." It's your lack of character. Esto Vir! -- Be a man!

3. Serenity. Why lose your temper if by losing it you offend God, you trouble your neighbor, you give yourself a bad time... and in the end you have to set things aright anyway?

4. Get rid of those useless thoughts which are at best a waste of time.

5. Don't put off your work until tomorrow. (uh-oh.. lol)

6. Excuses. You'll never lack them if you want to avoid your duties. What a lot of rationalizing! Don't stop to think about excuses. Get rid of them and do what you should.

...the list's up to 999 but these are just my favorites (plus i can't find my other faves.. i should have highlighted them hehe)

..IT people are here now, so back to work.. brb

System Time: 2:23 PM
it's raining again.. (with matching lightning and thunder)..quite scary, considering we're on the 34th floor.. i'm mentioning the weather 'cause i've run out of things to say and i still don't want to do any work..hu-humm *restrains myself from looking at the System Tray time for the nth time.. looks anyway* gaaah it's only 2:30 PM! Ma'am Marivic's in Cebu 'til tomorrow so that's great news for us contractors.. it means we could go home early.. Hurrah!

System Time: 2:39 PM
looks like i could leave early but not necessarily go home early.. ate ging's going to the gym so i'll have to wait for her (i don't want to commute)

System Time: 2:49 PM
i'm b-o-r-e-d.

System Time: 4:08
i am still bored. checked my yahoo mail and Clive (the Australian i'm making the web site for.. his partner is Greg, the Brit) already answered that the delay's okay, and i'll show them something on Sunday. (*crosses fingers*)

System Time: 4:44 PM
am still looking at the time and yes, it still is moving in a snail-like pace.. i've been working in front of a computer for 3 years now and it's become a habit to stare at my System Tray time and wait for it to move.. there are times when i'm on a deadline and the workload is soo heavy, i glance at it and panic when i see that my 8 hours have passed (which means i have to go OT which i absolutely loathe to do) i sometimes envy people who use their physical skills in their jobs.. their tiredness after a day's work seem more justified than mine, with me just sitting in front of a computer the whole day.. it seems easier to relax after a physically tiring day.. after i go home, my mind would keep on moving to my program errors.. i would even dream of them.. and after i wake up, i think about it even while showering.. i would sometimes forget if i shampooed my hair so i might've gone to work with dirty (but wet) hair... that's another reason why i love to read.. while reading, i am focused on the story and forget about work..

System Time: 4:56 PM
i watched The Perfect Score yesterday (i didn't go to work) and one of the characters there, was programming something. anyway, this japanese guy was able to help the girl with her visual basic code and the girl said..
"wow, what did you do?" (or something to that effect)
and the j guy said..
"i don't know. something about dynamic variables"

okeyy. first of all, variables are ALL dynamic. if they weren't, they wouldn't be a variable, it would be a constant. wala lang. sometimes movies on so-called computer experts are overrated. just throw in words like "dynamic" or "variables" and you'd already be called a techie...

System Time: 5:03 PM
i still have an hour to go but i've pretty much talked about every non-sensible thing today so i'm gonna stop. you could always tell how bored i am by the length of my blog. bye all! check out alexthegirl.com, my current faveeeee writer.

p.s. miss you ate cha! sorry if i copied your title. hehe.

...dream phone

My blog last July 13, 2004:

System Time: 12:39 PM
God, i'm excited. Smart's having a promo 'til Friday and they're giving away free top-notch phones for plans 800 and 1200.. i've been able to finally convince my sister to get me a plan on her name.. i'm getting an O2 XDA II.. it's worth 45k.. it's awwweeesome..it's a PDA AND a phone.. has bluetooth, a camera, 65k TFT screen.. and all the other functionalities PDAs have.. MS word, outlook, powerpoint, Media player.. waaahhh.. am suuuper excited. i've already searched for the accessories and they've got just absolute loads for it.. it also has pretty good reviews and is even faster than the average HP ipaq PDAs..(did i mention it's a phone? lol) i could read my downloaded e-books.. weeee!

System Time: 2:38 PM
I almost changed my mind from O2 xda to a 7610.. i know, i know, a lot of fanatic Nokia will disapprove but after reading a LOT of 7610 reviews, i found out that the 7610 could not even play audio in stereo! Gaaaah, how could they miss that.. i mean, so what if it's a megapixel phone.. buy a decent digital camera if you want to take decent pictures.. ANYWAY, i texted ate chary again and said .."HINDI, O2 PALA TLGA. yaw ko na ng 7610".. hehe.. so i'm still excited.. though there is a big turnoff with O2.. it has bluetooth but i think it doesn't support Object Exchange.. meaning you can't send and receive files from it using Bluetooth.. *sighs* guess there's no such thing as a perfect gadget.. damn these builders! lol! i'm still choosing these one over the nokia phones.. it has the fastest processor, brightest LCD and fantastic stereo sounds.. and the biggest memory with 128 MB (also expandable up to 512) wish my sister would hurry up and apply the freaking plan.

System Time: 2:49 PM
i'm not going to work tomorrow 'cause i have to finish the web site i'm making.. the main design has already been approved and now i've got to create the rest of the pages..

System Time: 3:59 PM
i'm off to Summit Agency.. will install the system i made.. it'll probably take 2 hours, then i'm going home.. bye all!

... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

My blog yesterday, July 7, 2004:

System Time: 11:56 AM
it's my daddy's birthday today!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!

60 years old ka na! senior citizen na.. meh discount na tayu na 20% sa restaurant! ahahaha! actually, i don't think my father has the ID yet but i'm gonna bug him to get one, lol.. some restaurants allow the discount for the whole bill, (not just his food) so it's one way to lessen our dining expenses hehe.. (not to forget, the medicine bills!)

still can't believe my dad's 60 already.. we're supposed to celebrate it in a grand way but the cash flows have eluded us so we're just gonna celebrate it with take-out chinese food (plus my dad can't drive 'cause he sprained his ankle) i'm gonna buy some Ube Cake later..it's his favorite.. along with Ube Ice Cream, Ube Macapuno, lol!

System Time: 12:34 PM
sent my dad a MMS message.. hope he receives it..

System Time: 12:35 PM
i'm supposed to be doing the User Manual but am still too lazy to do anything work related..

System Time: 2:18 PM
finished a big part of my User Manual.. also called up my sisters to know what their plan is for tonight.. so ate chary's gonna buy some food at Big Buddha (excellent restaurant, delicious but cheap) and I'm gonna buy some cake at Red Ribbon (just here at the Fudpark) and then we're going to go to Sta.Lucia to buy the pair of shoes that my dad has been looking at for almost year now... lol.. it costs 4K that's why he doesn't want to buy it.. anyway, the 3 of us are gonna share so we could buy it for him... (did i tell you that I still haven't paid ate chary my share when we bought the DVD player for Daddy on Father's Day? waahaha)

grabe, so magastos this month uh.

System Time: 2:51 PM
okeeyy.. i'm staring at my monitor again.. just finished browsing some of my fave sites.. alexthegirl.com and my friends' blogs..i guess i'll continue making the manual.. brb


System Time: 6:15 PM
geeeezz we're late.. i'm going home now, we've got the food, the cake, the gift.. bye all!

... (-_-)

System Time: 2:57 PM
hay so tired. at least i was able to finish a couple of reports.. i'm now doing the most boring part of creating a program.. the Documentation.. i'm attempting to do the User Manual but my eyes keep on closing..

System Time: 3:22 PM
was able to watch Spiderman 2 last Sunday.. it's such a GREAT movie! just adore sequels that are better than their predecessors..

System Time: 3:29 PM
o-keeyy.. so i'm waiting for the merienda break. so what? it's what every normal, hardworking employee does... right? ehehe.

System Time: 3:32 PM
i hate demanding people. I mean, there was this BPI person that kept on calling Sir Joel.. so i picked up the call for the nth time and told her that Sir Joel's still on a meeting.. this girl goes, "Andun parin? ang tagal naman." so i just said.."opo." Then she goes.."Matagal ba yan?" (grrr) so i said "obvious po ba hanggang ngayon asa meeting parin diba?" then she said "hindi ba pwedeng istorbohin sandali kasi meh itatanong lang ako?" (grrrrrrrrrr >_< ) HELLOOOO? it's not an ordinary meeting that i could just barge in and get sir Joel.. he's with all of the EOs and Managers! so i was like " *hinga na malalim* tell you what, Ma'am. I'll just tell him to call you as soon as he arrives, ok?" then she goes.. "kasi meh deadline kami eh" ...waaaah i wanted to hang up there and then.. i wanted to say to her, "doesn't everybody? welcome to our planet, Lady!" but of course, being the polite person that I am, i just repeated that I'll get him to return her call ASAP. grrrr.

System Time: 6:00 PM
going home now.. yey! my conver with Ms. Marivic
me: Ma'am alis na po ako
Ms M: ay, iiwan mo na kami?
me: opo.

hehe. babay!

...i'm a little bit of a crazy, i'm a little bit of a fool

System Time: 4:23 PM
hey guys! i currently like this song.. Somewhere Only We Know by Keane..


I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?


Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?


... you have to hear it to appreciate it.. but it does have nice lyrics, right?

July na pala. Gaah, i'm so tired. -_- i've been feeling the pressure lately, because my system's supposed to be deployed on Monday.. i was like.. "hello?.. you're asking the impossible." it's simply not ready. I'M not ready. gaah.

I've decided to stick it out here in Prumerica, at least for 3 more months.. whatever "pros" i might think of if i resign, the truth is, i still need the money.. or at least save some before i quit..

System Time: 4:44 PM
so sleeepy. -_- this day sucks. really.
System Time: 5:02 PM
since the server's down, i decided to visit my favorite site, alexthegirl.com ... i like it 'cause she's a good writer and reading her posts relaxes me.. (weird, noh?) maybe it's because it's such a far cry from MY blogs which are essentially filled with complaints, petty grievances and angst ridden emotions.. in one of her posts, she said she was extremely surprised when she was called a "web celebrity" by an emailer...i think i found the link to her site on blogger.com's link lists and since then, i've been visiting her site occasionally.. (or when i remember to do so).. alex talked about how the internet is much like highschool.. cool kids, cliques.. personally, i could count the people who visit my blog with just one hand.. all of whom are my friends.. i write for the same reason as why people keep pictures on photo albums.. to capture a moment in my life and be able to view it whenever i want to.. (plus, i get to practice my english, harharhar) i wanna be able to read how bored i was on that certain day.. or when i had a bloodfest after i bumped my head on a street post.. or when i was very much the F4 fanatic.. or my laughable hysterics over nothing..

System Time: 6:15 PM
i'm going home now.. already installed the reports on Carlo's machine.. (also installed Crystal Reports 10 'cause my damn reports won't show.. sshhh, uh.. i'm not supposed to do that, but what the heck, it isn't working. hehe)

bye all!

...i'm getting old -_-

System Time: 10:00 AM
God help me, it's a Monday. :(

i still feel soo tired and soo sleepy.. my brain still isn't functioning..my energy's on an all time low and i am blankly staring at my list of things to do for my program and i don't have an ounce of power to do any of them...

my sisters are back from HK..they didn't bring ANY pasalubong so i was extremely disappointed.. i was asking for a benetton rain jacket..(hmpft) think my sisters felt a bit guilty 'cause ate chary offered me her Mango bag instead..they bought these identical Mango bags and ate chary gave me hers.. woohoo! (it even came with a wallet, v.c.!) it's beige with 2 pockets in front.. nothing beats the monday blues like a MNG bag harharhar.. also got a new chinese cellphone holder which officially retired my tattered winnie d pooh sock.. i arbored it from my pre-com Kada Ten², but i'm sure when she sees that winnie's already losing his shirt, she'll understand..(not that i see her anymore.. asan ka ba Ten²!) ate chary also bought a new phone (finally!).. a Sony Ericsson K700.. it's a phone to die for.. it's packed with features but it's lighter than my T68i.. (see my envy flowing through my veins.. lol!)

System Time: 11:52 AM
...was able to program the module for e-mailing the uploaded text files.. hu-hum.. my bosses are lunching out so it's just Raymond and me manning the IT department..hayy.. katamad.

System Time: 11:59 AM
..am currently reading Tuesdays with Morrie..it's like everyone's favorite book but i still haven't read it..so far, it's good.. a bit preachy, but nonetheless, interesting..

System Time: 12:29 PM
got a call from Ms. Dana, the Real-Estate Agent.. i'm thinking of buying a house/condo.. some might think it's a tad early but i disagree.. it's actually the perfect time to invest, when i have no other expenses aside from my personal kakikayans..at least i will be putting my money in good use..

System Time: 1:05 PM
they're still not here! i'll just post this blog now, i might not be able to do it once they're back.. have a not-so-sucky Monday!

... you spokenin' in dollar?

System Time: 4:41 PM
gaah my head aches. i'm still here at the office,.. waiting for dex's reply... don't know if we're gonna meet or not..anyway.. it's been a pretty productive day considering that i was earlier harrassed by Ma'am Soraya's kids.. they're pretty cool, actually.. they speak with an American accent and all.. (they just got it from school) so you could say i practiced my english today, hehe.. as usual, i'm an instant hit with kids.. lol.. i dunno.. i guess it's because i still look like a kid..(or behave like one, whatever!) anyway, they were in the pantry and i came in to eat.. at first they were civilized.. the first questions were a bit weird though.. like.. what's my mother's age.. or my grandmother's age..what was mine.. (they're into the age thing hehe).. then after that it was riot.. they decided to lock me up in the pantry and i felt a bit bruised after i finally was able to get out.. (with Ma'am Soraya's help..) there should be a law against violent kids lol.. they were quite strong and a kid's punch really hurts LOL! but still, i really like them so i hope i would see them again..

some of their questions:
when Andrea (the girl) saw my phone with dex's baby picture as the wallpaper she asked
"who's that?"
me:My boyfriend when he was a baby
andrea: you're going to marry a baby?
me: no..i said when he was baby.. (then i showed the more updated picture)
andrea: you're gonna marry him?
me: yep
andrea: you're gonna marry him now?
me: not now!
andrea: so you're gonna kiss him, right?
*i just laughed.. wanted to say.. been there, done that kid.. lol!*

they're sweet, really.. andrea even asked me "you're gonna be here everyday? i'll see you again? momi and you are officemates, right?"

hehe. so sweet. i kinda miss them already. i even like the way they pronounce my name.. like a slang Gary..

"gereee, gereee" lol.

i better go now.. dex isn't replying and i feel as if i'm gonna have a fever. bye!

...dead lines

My blog yesterday, June 25, 2004:

System Time: 5:02 PM
i'm reaaady to go home.. i'll be logging out at exactly 5:19 PM.. i'll be going to work tomorrow so i could justify my going home early.. besides, i'm soo sleep deprived this week that all i want is to get at least 8 hours of sleep tonight..

still have loads to do, each new day brings me closer to my deadlines so you could just imagine how fast each day ends for me..my mind was already panicking yesterday.. i didn't know how the hell i would derive this certain information.. grabe.. it's so tiring to think! lol! anyway, i'm writing this blog 'cause i FINALLY found a way to work around it (in short, nangdaya ako).. i created a new table instead of trying to figure out what query i could make from the existing tables.. gaaah.
/me scraps one out of my error list.. still uhmm 15 to go? lol. demmit.

System Time: 5:25 PM
so much for exactly 5:19.. bye now!

...i wanna cry.. huhuhu

System Time: 9:15 PM
grrrr.. paalis pa lang ako ng office.. antok na ko.. wala lang.. babay!

ANG DAMI DAMI DAMI DAMI kong deadline na lahat eh para bukas. tongueeeena.

...juicy fruit.. wala lang

System Time: 8:40 PM
yeah.. i'm sleepy again. i can barely type this blog..

...started looking for a baby gift for lara.. grabe, there's sooo much baby stuff..it's like a whole new planet... and their prices! no wonder couples fight a lot..
..Kate and I went home together..talked about our plans for Lara's upcoming baby shower.. we'll probably be doing that on July 3.. i already have a gift planned.. there's this Chicco bag i saw at the mall.. it's styled like a messenger bag so when you open the flap, you could use it as a mat for the baby to lie on when you change her diapers or something.. very cool.. (and very expensive.. 1k! wahh) but still, it's not everyday your kada contributes to the human population..i wanted to buy the electric sterilizer but the price is double so the bag will have to do..

System Time: 10:41 AM
..think NU blocked me from their texting thing.. LOL! totally uncalled for.. ok, i can be a mean critic but really, if i knew they were that sensitive i would have gladly spared the 2.50 per text deduction from my cell load..they had a band called "Quan" playing.. i actually liked the band except when the lead singer breathes too much in between lines..all i said was.."i guess you're into the breathy style but you sound as if you're hyperventilating" ... now my texts are totally blown off..there goes my freedom of expression..too bad they're the only rock station in Manila..i would've boycotted them.. hmpft. -_-

System Time: 11:03 AM
after 3 days of coding the Weekly Sales Report program, i'm supposed to be back to programming LIPS (Life Planner Service) but i sort of forgot already what i'm supposed to do next..so all i do is stare on my monitor (and listen to NU).. guess i'll REALLY start focusing after lunch..

System Time: 1:12 PM
o--key, it's after lunch and i'm still NOT focusing! gaah! *squints on monitor*

System Time: 7:10 PM
TG it's time to go.. bye all!

...surbiy!

surbiy!

System Time: 1:20 PM
got this at ate cha's blog... i'm here at the office on a saturday and i'm getting kinda sick of my crystal report errors.. so, blog muna..

BLAST FROM THE PAST …

1. When were you born: 1980

2. Where were you born: some hospital in QC

3. What was your first grade teacher's name: i can't remember.. all i can remember is Mrs. Eustaquio but i think she was my second grade teacher for Math..besides, we had lots of teachers, not just one

4. What was your first pet's name: choco (how original, uh?) he was an askal.. all brown with a black streak that runs on the middle of his face.. so fogiee for an askal

5. What was your worst accident (medical): i was running after my sister who was riding a bike when i fell down... on some broken glass on the street.. (galing ko pumili ng lugar ano).. had at least 8 stiches on my knee.. the scar's still very much visible.. (it's almost 2 inches)

6. What was your favorite cartoon character: i watched a lot of Garfield and Friends back then

7. Who was your first best friend: Lorraine and Rogelaine (gosh, it rhymes lol)

8. Who was your first girlfriend/boyfriend: gf: janice (bat buh, uso mag ON sa exclusive noh) bf: rudolph (pirs lab hehe)

9. What was your favorite movie in the 2nd grade: never ending story.. (was that on 2nd grade?) but i loved it.. when i watched it again just recently, i was like.."i actually liked this crap!?"

10. What used to be your favorite color: can't remember... still blue, i guess

11. What was your favorite subject: gaaah, i hated my classes.. it's a wonder i even graduated without flunking any subject.. at 1st grade i learned the power of pretending that you had a stomach ache so i could skip going to school.. lol!

12. Did you ever start a food fight: nope.. never even experienced one

13. What/who was your worst fear: my fifth grade teacher, Ms. Lardizabal (who actually entered the convent.. GRABE, from being a terror to a nun... i guess weirder things have happened)

14. What was your favorite toy: chinese jackstones.. i was a whiz at it

PRESENT

15. What time is it: 1:35 PM

16. What's the date: June 19

17. What grade are you in: 20/20 hehe jk, already graduated

18. fave movies: LOTR, Last Castle, Shawshank Redemption, Crazy/Beautiful, Save the Last Dance, Clueless (..what-ever! i'm Audi! LOL)

19. What is your favorite song: can't think of just one.. i have lots.. Crash into Me, Last Goodbye.. but i currently like Echo by Trapped

20. Do you have any pets: yeah

21. if so wat are their names: Ging and chary.. har har har

22. fave subj in school: COBOL and Taxation

23. What's your hair color: i've colored it so many times i forgot my natural color

24. What kind of music do you listen to: any.. rock, pop, chinese songs (lol), dance, watever.. (i don't like jazz, though.. hehe ate cha.. but i really don't)

25. Do you still watch cartoons: only if it's a good movie

26. What are your favorite TV shows: AI, MG, Alias, CSI

27. Do you get online often? now that i've got Internet at the office.. yeah, i will be! Hurrah!

28. What's your worst fear: to wake up and find out that my family is gone

29. What's your favorite color: blue

30. What city do you live in: bundok ng antipolo

31. Do you have a b/f g/f: yep.. luvUluv *mwah*

32. What's your favorite type of food: Japanese and Ihaw-Ihaw stuff

33. What do you want to be when you grow up: some sort of Project Manager or IT Manager who just gives programmers hell..

34. Do you want to go to college? already did and I'M NOT going back!

35. Do you want to get married? yep

36. If so at what age: would you believe we already have a year? when we're 27 years old

37. Do you want to have kids: yep.. (but my pain tolerance is close to zilch so i want a painless labor hehe) 2.. basta i want one for each gender.. parang ang dali ano..

FUTURE

01. age do you think you'll live to: i wanna die young.. 'cause only the good die young.. so i'll probably live to about a 100.. lol

02. Where do you want to live when you're 35: still here in my native land (/me plays Lupang Hinirang on the background)

03. What movie do you want to see next Saturday? wag na, gastos pa

04. What time do you think you will go to bed: around 10 pm.. hopefully..

05. Do you think you will have the same friends: i sure hope so

06. You think everyone will be jealous of you: Nah, i'll probably be jealous of them

07. Do you want to be president of the U.S.: i don't think i'll be eligible

08. Do you want to walk on the moon: yep, that'll be cool

09. Do you want to be famous: i'd rather be rich

10. kind of house do you want to live in: something spacy and with a big yard out front.. kinda of like Richard Gomez' house.. less walls.. more space.. slim furniture..very cool


finished already? LOL.. think i'm getting a headache.. back to work then.. will be logging out around 5 pm.. then will be meeting dex.. bye all!

...good news, bad news

System Time: 8:31 AM
good morning! good news, bad news muna!

good news: I've got internet access.. woohoo!
bad news: all public mail systems are blocked..(yahoo mail, hotmail, whatever)

good news: at least i could now read other people's blogs! and i could post my blogs real time
bad news: when i tried accessing ate cha's Archive.. it was also blocked.. the message said "Gate Filter Response: This site is blocked because of sexual content".. i'm not kidding, okay? LOL!

good news: it's Friday today!
bad news: i'm going to work tomorrow

good news: they gave me a faster PC
bad news: i had to install every single software again, my program had glitches 'cause i changed path, they can't find the Photoshop installer..(the list is endless,.. waaah)

good news: they upgraded their Crystal Reports.. it's now v10
bad news: my reports won't run... i searched up my error on the internet and it only produced 1 page of results.. (i was so dismayed! i felt so alone! lol!).. but i was able to figure it out eventually.. (i'm the king of the world! hahaha)

good news: bought new books.. Shopaholic and Sister (Becky Bloomwood's back!), Dan Brown's Perception Point and Tuesdays with Morrie..finished reading Shopaholic and Sister.. it a good chicklit, has a great ending..
bad news: just spent 1650 bucks for them

good news:Ma'am Marivic's not going to work today!
bad news: WALAAAAAAAAAAA,..WALA AKONG MAISIP hahaha! (/me talon talon)

System Time: 5:54 PM
good news: uwi na ko!!
bad news: pag uwi ko gagawa pa ko website..waahh..babayy!!

...answered prayer

System Time: 7:57 PM
i'm still here at the office.. trying to offset some of my absences..but i'll be going in a couple of minutes.. just want to post my blogs 'cause everyone's home already (except for Sir Loret) so i could freely use the Internet now..

i was inside a cubicle in the girl's room when i said a silent prayer to God.. i said.. "God, let there be blood...".. when i opened my eyes and saw some spattering of blood, i almost cried with relief.. L O L! TG! it's as if a big burden has been lifted from my shoulders.. (halleluia)

anyway, i'm going home now.. bye guys! be safe! (unlike me.. lol) *mwaaah*

...where are the people in the neighborhood?

My blog last June 11, 2004:

System Time: 10:10 AM
i'm back in the office.. after being absent for 3 1/2 days! waahahaha. still feel a bit under the weather but i have no fever anymore so that's good.. (i guess.. lol)

System Time: 10:36 AM
..none of our bosses are here! only Sir Loret is present.. (i'm so lucky hehe) i was working on my "how-am-i-speech" this morning..(it's best to be prepared) looks like i won't be needing it.. Ms. Marivic and Sir Felix are on some sort of training.. Sir Joel and Sir Philbert are sick.. and Ate pretz.. dunno, she goes to work after lunch so i'm still not sure if she's going to work or not.. so that just leaves the 3 of us (Me, Mario and Raymond) and Sir Loret.. this just feels like the time when my HS OIC got sick.. we were like hyenas that got loose..

System Time:10:46 AM
lunch out daw, Janice said.. hmm.. what do i want to eat.. hmm..

System Time: 12:50 PM
*whew*.. almost feels like a walkaton everytime we eat at Glorietta.. we first went to National to see if they sell tickets (they don't) so we just went back to French Baker (Landmark) and ate their.. We did check out the Skechers store 'cause they got watches whose style i like.. (can't explain it here.. it's like the watch is embossed on top of the leather) it's cheaper too.. just 2590 bucks..unlike the 6k version by fossil.. i'll probably buy it later.. (syempre cc haha)

System Time: 1:08 PM
/me daydreaming of the watch. *sighs*

hay. i'm so sleypi. maybe it's because for the past 4 days, i've been sleeping at this hour. (i was practically sleeping the whole week)

i've also been smoke-free for 7 days. woohoo. maybe i'll be able to continue this for the rest of my life. hehe. (wish ko langgg)

shit i'm sleepy. -_-

System Time: 1:22 PM
arrgh i can't work! i'm too sleepy (and too lazy..) can't believe it's only 1:22 pm.. more than 4 hours to go.. suckkkyy.

System Time:2:56 PM
yey just 2+ more hours to go.. (arrived at 8:30 so i could leave by 5:30)

System Time: 4:01 PM
yey just 1 1/2 hrs to go.. woohoo. am going to Radix to see Koji and Froi.. i'll wait for Dex there again..

System Time: 5:01 PM
drats. Ma'am M is here.. but i'll still go home at 5:30pm.. hay just waiting for 30 minutes..

System Time: 5:32 PM
gaah. all my bosses are now here.. but i'm gonna go naaaaaaaaaaaaa.. babayy!

...Blog-All-You-Can

System Time: 8:45 AM
God, i'm sleepy... *yawns* it's raining again and it's such a straining effort to haul yourself from bed when it's cold and dark outside.. i don't like the rain that much.. especially if it's a work day..hassle pare..at least i'm not wearing our college uniform anymore.. during the rainy season, i would go to class with brown spots at the bottom of my white skirt.. waaaah.. then if i get really lucky i would even get splashed with flood water by some passing vehicles.. just terrific. -_-

i've been helping my mom make some macrame necklaces and bracelets.. she's going to bazaar at DBP this Monday so she's gonna need to sell as many items as she can.. it's also the reason why i've been sleep deprived this week..

System Time:11:15 AM
ohmigod. my system is being tested by the user and he encountered problems as soon as he started encoding. bwahaha. i had to empty the table just so he could start testing it.. so my heart would jump everytime my phone would ring (thinking it might be Carlo, the one who is testing my system) .. can you believe my phone rang for 5 times in just 5 minutes? only the first one was from Carlo.. then the next were Miss Femy from Radix, and the next 3 were for Sir Joel.. (people keep forgetting that he already changed his local) waaah. think my heart is palpitating. *breathe in, breathe out*

System Time: 2:10 PM
grabe.. i'm so friggin full (TG!).. we lunched out at Dad's/Saisaki.. eat-till-you-get-sick (which is exactly what i did).. i mean, what else would one do with all those food available for you? eat, eat, eat until you're sooo full, all you can do is stare into space..now i can hardly breathe and my stomach is bigger than my boobs.. lol.. think i ate a kilo of tuna and salmon sashimi, makis, sushis, tempura, yakitoris ( i could go all day lol).. arrrgh. i should remind myself that gluttony is a sin.

System Time: 4:20 PM
i'm still full! waah. and i feel as if there's a battle happening in my stomach.. did you know that being full makes you groggy.. i'm feeling as if i haven't slept for days.. su-ckyyy.

System Time: 6:06 PM
still here in Prumerica.. i actually have to go to Radix to get my allowance but i'm still waiting for Dex..

System Time: 7:32 PM
..i'm now here at Radix, posting my blogs.. (still waiting for Dex, though).. bye for now, gonna watch HP (or at least, attempt to.. the lines are unbelievable).. have a good one! bye!

...Time flies when you're not looking at your System Tray

My blog last June 1, 2004:

System Time: 10:22 AM
currently listening to Jet - Are you gonna be my Girl.. instantly thought of Ate Cha (it's her current fave song..i think)

System Time: 7:17 PM <--woah, bilis ng oras
..still here at the office but i'm leaving around 7:30 P.M..

..June na pala? yey! tomorrow's the showing of Prisoner of Azkaban but i'll probably won't be able to watch it until Saturday/Sunday.. i've got too much workload.. in between installing LIPS in laptops, i've already started coding the re-engineering of LIPS (Life Planner Service system, the vc++ program).. Mario and I are converting it to VB.. (hurrah!)

i do feel tired. bye for now!

...Masochistic Entry

System Time: 12:34 PM
i really, really like Reason by Hoobastank.. i still don't get tired listening to it.. it's sort of a love song and i'm a sucker of rock love songs..

/me ehem ehem

I've found a reason for me,
To change who I used to be,
A reason to start over new,
and the reason is you.

I've found a reason to show,
A side of me you didn't know,
A reason for all that I do,
And the reason is you.

awwww. how sweet. lol.

System Time: 12:38 PM
Errata: i said in my previous post that Amy Evans is the singer of Evanescense.. bwahahaha.. Amy Lee nga pala.. Amy Evans is an American Idol finalist (i think.. or am i wrong again? lol) .. was watching AI last night and i just saw the Evans girl and i recalled writing her name here.. lol.. *wapaks sarili*

System Time:12:44 PM
ei i've got another website project! (as if the first one is finished already) Ate ging referred me to her Boss and i'm making a site for their company.. had the breakfast meeting yesterday morning (7:30 am! gaaah i was still so sleepy) at UCC cafe.. He's Brit by the way so i felt i needed an English-Tagalog dictionary while talking to him.. (these are the times when i envy my ever-fluent call center friends) anyway, that basically says goodbye to all my weekend plans.. but still, it's okay 'cause at least i'm earning a little on the side and at the same, it's sort of fulfilling my dream job as a web developer.. it's all about your contacts.. you don't have to be the best, you just have to know the right people.. (in my case, my sister! lol!)

Greg (his name) is actually pretty funny.. when i told him i'm currently assigned to Prumerica, he started picking on the Prumericans.. told you they're weird.. it's just not me, other people observe it too! lol! i told him it's a happy office.. just the environment for people who sell insurance.. he just called the previous Prumerica President as "wacko" (with matching hand gesture.. lamnyo yun, loko²) and then of course, there's Lope.. the gay boss.. hehehe.. he told me.."is he gay? of course he is" LOL! i said that i knew he was gay the first time i heard Lope's voice.. being a semi-homophobic person, i couldn't believe they have a gay boss... how could they muster a straight face when Lope is giving them orders.. (this is just my opinion, ok? i don't want to start getting hate mail from gay people) ..anyway, just enforces my idea that Brits have the best sense of humor in the world.. (just look at their movies...About A Boy, Bridget Jones Diary, Full Monty, etc)

System Time: 1:27 PM
Fantasia's the New American Idol..I don't like them both (Diana and Fantasia) but I guess Fantasia deserves it more... had a boo² yesterday.. dex texted this to me :"mi, na2lo yung bet m na c fantasia".. ako naman eengot engot ang basa ko eh "NATALO" hahaha.. pinagkalat ko tuloy sa mga fellow AI enthusiasts ko dito sa prumerica na nanalo si Diana.. wahaha leche... kakatawa.. (Wow Mali! *wapaks sarili*) kasi naman di ko tlga gets mga short cuts ni momi sa text.. paminsan yung "k" pwedeng Ko or Ka.. yung "m" pwedeng Me or Mo.. alang consistency tlga yun, pa iba iba meaning.. tsaka pag nakatext na ganon syempre babasahin mo ang nakasulat.. yung 2 ginagamit lang sa "na2log" or "2mulong" grrr.. lol! i'm fretting bout nothing.. haayy..

System Time: 2:02 PM
waah i can't seem to make myself get into the "programming mood" (read: tinatamad) *wapaks sarili* i wanna get out of this office and watch a movie, or start making the site.. anything, just to get out of here.. 4 hours pa.. how sad.. i'm gonna watch Shrek later with dex.. or maybe The Day After Tomorrow..

System Time: 4:17 PM
just remembered that i logged in around 8 a.m... that means i could go home as early as 5 pm! woohoo.. plus Powerbooks is on sale so i'll probably go there and buy a better Dreamweaver MX book (hope it's discounted.. if it's not, err.. i don't think i'll buy one..'cause sometimes they don't include computer books on the discounts)..

isn't it weird when people buy discounted stuff on their credit cards and then when their statement of account arrives, they don't pay the full balance.. and so it gets interest on the next month, so actually they're paying for something more expensive than the original price..really sucks right? grrr.. that's exactly what I do. *wapaks sarili again*

System Time:5:01 PM
alis na kooo...babayy!

...Favorites

System Time: 12:58 PM

so sleepyy.. even with Chicosci's music blasting in my headphones.. i'm not a big fan of local rock music.. call me unnationalistic but i just don't dig it.. i like a bit of slapshock.. but then all the other local bands sound like them.. (you know, shouting.. lol).. i could also listen to Bamboo.. that's 'cause i like his voice.. i'm not a solid fan of any of the local bands.. just some of their songs.. like Sandwich' Butterfly Carnival.. most are like a date with your HS crush.. sweet, but forgettable.. i didn't even like ChicoSci's Paris the first time i heard it.. think it just grew into me 'cause NU kept on playing it..not a single local song is included in my "all-time favorite songs" list.. (i can't decide on just 1)
here they are, in random order:
1. Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye
2. Matthew Sweet - Sick of Myself
3. The Damnbuilders - Drive by Kiss
4. Dave Matthews Band - Crash into Me
5. Guster - Demons
6. Chevelle - The Red
7. Die Trying - Oxygen's gone
8. Incubus - Are you In

..think there's a whole lot more but that's all i could remember now.. I even have, like a favorite song for every band/singer.. like for The Calling, Could It be any Harder just rocks.. or I'm With You by Avril Lavigne (nominated in the Best Song category in the Grammys).. i just don't get tired listening to these songs, they're like the fastest anti-depressant drugs for me..

System Time: 1:38 PM
yesterday my dad and i went to taytay to get our cousin's basketball goal.. they're migrating to Canada and so they gave the goal to us.. (it's fiberglass with a 10-feet post).. i really wanted to go with him 'cause i was hoping to see my cousin, Ian, before they leave the country. He's my favorite cousin in Dad's side.. simply because he's a rocker like me and he's always interesting to talk to.. i'm like 4 years (or more, i think?) older than him but i don't feel the difference..i don't know if he's the mature one or i'm the childish one.. whatever it is, i will be missing him. :~(
good luck, Tito Ardi and Tita Cindy! pakabait ka Ian! *wapaks*

System Time: 1:54 PM
..finished reading Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown.. if you're a semi-catholic like me, (meaning not a fully devoted one,..just one that goes to mass, prays once a day and tries to be "good" but not necessarily does good deeds for others) i suggest that you don't read it, 'cause it might falter your already faltering faith to the roman catholic church.. but i guess if you want to test your faith, you could go ahead and read it.. what's so controversial with it? it just says that Jesus is not a God and is simply a man.. (okay, it's what jews believe, but hey, I'M a catholic and so is 70% of the Filipino people!) i've heard this theory before from my muslim friends (they believe Jesus is just a prophet) but i've never really heard why or how they could believe he is human.. the key of course, is the title of the book, Da Vinci Code.. i don't want to get into the details of the book but it simply tries to unlock the hidden messages in Da Vinci's paintings about the Church.. i don't know if i've just been living such a sheltered life but this was the first time i heard of the theory that the Holy Grail, which was taught in my catholic school as the Chalice which was used by Jesus in the last supper, is actually not a thing but a person. Mary Magdalene to be exact. Try checking out Da Vinci's Last Supper on the internet and look closely to the person seated on Jesus' right.. (your left if your facing the monitor).. look closely and you'll see that it's not a He.. but a She.. Da Vinci portrayed a Last Supper with Mary Magdalene seated on Jesus' right.. (the person has boobs!) the hands are clasped together too, such a feminine position, right? and if in fact, the Holy Grail is about the Chalice, how come there isn't a single Chalice portrayed in Da Vinci's fresco? there are 13 cups on the table, unlike what i've seen on other Last Supper paintings, where there was only 1 cup, held by Jesus, and was passed to the disciples to drink.. why Mary Magdalene? 'cause (get this) she's Jesus' spouse.. the fact is, Jesus IS a jew and at that time, it's next to impossible to have an unmarried jew at 30 years old. And so, the theory gets complicated.. after Jesus' death, Constantine needed a religion that would unite everyone.. from pagans to christians.. since Jesus was so popular at that time he decided to make Jesus a God, not a man or simply a prophet of God, but God himself and Divine. He sought out and destroyed all writings that connects any human aspects to Jesus, including his spouse, Mary Magdalene. Constantine was believed to be behind the black propaganda against MM, calling her a prostitute and reducing her role in Jesus' life as simply a sinner whom Jesus showed mercy upon.. she (as theorized) is actually royalty.. (forgot the family).. since Jesus is a descendant of King Solomon and King David, he also has royal blood and so their marriage makes perfect sense.. the unification of 2 royal families.. Since Constantine could not allow Jesus' divinity become destroyed by a mere woman, he then proceeded to remove any "feminine" aspect of God.. making God a "He".. that's still very much how the Catholic church is today.. no female priests, no female Popes.. Peter was believed to be so jealous of Mary Magdalene that Da Vinci portrayed this on the Last Supper.. just look at Peter's menacing claw-like hand that points to Mary.. there's much more in the theory, like how nothing in the Catholic traditions are original.. all are taken from other religions.. (like a god being born under a star, or mass being celebrated on a Sunday.. which is actually a tribute to the "Sun God".. Sun Day) or how their's a group called Priory of Sion whose purpose is to keep the "Goddess" alive and to keep the location of the Holy Grail a secret.. for the Church will destroy the Grail once they found bones in it instead of the famed Chalice..
..read it, Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown.. research it (it's ALL OVER the net).. and put your faith into the test.. personally, i do believe that Jesus was married.. he walked with men and so it seems logical that he would try to fit in.. but i also believe that no mere man can endure the suffering he experienced.. and what about the accounts on His resurrection.. there was nothing about that in the book.. because it is inexplainable.. a miracle, only a God could do.. Amen!!!

besides, the book has some boring parts, unlike his other book, Angels and Demons which is my favorite.

System Time: 3:28 PM
will be going home early..sabay ako keh Ate Ging.. around 5:30 pm.. just making the final designs in these forms.. not yet programming.. last night i was searching some jobs posted at Jobstreet.com ('cause my bond's gonna be ending in July, diba..) i can't help but feel that my skills are becoming obsolete.. let's face it.. i'm just a VB programmer.. i don't even know .NET's framework! most of the jobs posted there have requirements like c#, c++, ASP.NET, VB.net, Java.. waah! even if i did handle vc++ here in prumerica i have no plans of making that a career.. di ko kakayaniiin!.. c++ is just beyond me..i cried with relief when i graduated from that stupid vc++ program.. anyway, it just made me want to finish the site i've been trying to make for Tita Estela's company.. good news is that my kada, Ria, is also beginning to learn Dreamweaver MX so i might be getting some help from her (hurrah!)

System Time: 4:17 PM
still listening to NU107.. Zach (the dj..dunno the spelling) says that he didn't like Troy.. such a travesty, really.. it's a GREAT film.. i've never watched a Troy film with Achilles as the focus and i haven't realized 'til that movie how interesting his character was.. i mean, previous Troy movies (like Helen of Troy) focused on the war, on Agamemmnon and his desire to conquer Troy.. i just loved this version.. (though they did change Homer's Iliad.. In the Iliad, Achilles was killed by Paris.. He shot Achilles with an arrow on the heel ('cause he knew this was Achilles' weak spot, the famous Achilles' heel) while Achilles was parading Hector's body in front of them) it brought out Achilles' emotions and made the audience feel his rage over his cousin's death.. i also liked the fight scenes.. where Achilles was jumping to strike Hector with a spear.. plus my goooshhh.. the katawan of Brad Pitt uh.. no wonder guys hate the movie, they feel inferior to his godly body har har har..

System Time: 5:31 PM
gtg now.. bye all! have a good one!

...TGIF!

System Time: 8:44 AM
Jasmine got booted out of 'American Idol',..awww. i don't know if you've been following the contest as unfailingly as i have but i'm sure you've heard of the 2 Fil-Ams who joined the show.. Camille Velasco (my favorite) got voted out earlier and now it's Jasmine.. at least she's in the Top 3... and i'm pretty sure we haven't seen the last of her..

Ate Ging received shocking news from her bosses last night.. her boss resigned and so did her boss' boss.. so that pretty much left their Manila office in the pits.. they still don't know what the management's going to do with them.. but she's expecting the worst, meaning, she might lose her job.. (her 40k job! waah!) just goes to see how life is full of fuckingly screwed up surprises that come up when you least expect it.. it scares the shit out of me... 'cause i know it'll only take one little joke played by the world to me that could make my present contented life into radical blackness.. .it's a good thing i read a forwarded message in my email (sent to me by my good friend, Kate) that made me look things in perspective.. it's a quote from Ally Mcbeal..
"If you think back and replay your year, and it doesn't bring out tears of joy or sadness, consider it wasted."
well , if tears are the scale, i've lived a full life then.. lol! (though i haven't cried for sometime now, perhaps i'll cry later just for the heck of it... i'll cry for Jasmine's loss, lol!)

will be meeting my ISM kada tonight.. Harbie's back from the states and i'm psyched to see her and the rest of the kada.. it's so weird to have a married friend who isn't pregnant (or didn't get someone pregnant).. LOL! 23-24's still pretty young to get hitched, especially in this generation where people are generally more career oriented.. (plus both of my older sisters are still single so, it's not on my mind) not that i don't want to get married, far from it.. it'll just take a few more years for me to get prepared for something as monumental as marriage..

ei, i borrowed ate Chary's discman and it has a radio so i'm really happy to be hearing NU107 again.. waah they're playing one of my fave songs.. Drive by Kiss by The Damnbuilders..

heard something really funny.. David Hasselhoff's going to have a Hip-Hop album.. har har har.. that is just beyond my imagination.

System Time: 10:51 AM
everyday, i have an early lunch with my friendster friends (that's what Sir Joel calls us) around 11 am.. so that's 9 minutes away.. there are loads of advantages when you eat early here in Prumerica...
1. the Pantry's not yet crowded
2. no one's standing behind you, pressuring you to eat faster so they could take your seat
3. when you finish an hour after (12 pm), everybody's out to lunch so you have the department by yourself
4. you can take advantage of your solitude for more creative tasks.. such as sleeping, talking on the phone..
5. if you go back late (say around 1 pm), it'll just appear normal to any other employee.. it's not that obvious that you took a 2-hour lunch break 'cause everybody goes back to their desk around 1 pm too.

with that said, i'm off to lunch. bRb.

System Time: 11:49 AM
shiiiit ang lakas ng ulan. demmit. sleep muna.

System Time:12:33 PM
..currently listening to Check it Out by Beastie Boys.. it's a new single by the band... they're last album was.. hmm.. when i was in highschool? (yeah, it's been awhile, lol!) it's good to hear their music again.. *chh,chh,chh,check it out! wha,wha,wha,what's it all about!*
hehehe. too bad i can't jump up and down.

System Time: 3:26 PM
ei erlyn! glad you like the new layout.. but in defense of my previous layout, my blog wasn't supposed to be seen through the "gewi.blogspot.com" link.... twas part of a page inside my web site that's why it was black and white and not centered.. anyway, since my site's been deleted in brinkster's stupid server, decided to change it. didn't have time to create my own so i just picked up a template in blogger.. just picked something simple and would load fast.. yoko kasi yung maraming ka-ek-ekan sa blog, ang bagal tuloy mag load.. (hahaha touche` erlyn! :p)

System Time: 5:47 PM
uy alis na ko. yehey! bye all, have a stress-free weekend.

p.s. just received a text message from ate ging
"Hay naku naglayas na naman c mom. Dis s such a dysfunctional family!"
i told my sister, "tungkol sa mangga yan, ano?".. she said, "I'm sure"

/me tawa na lang. it's a long story.. i'll tell you another time..bye again!

...Dindo the Bagyo

System Time: 6:30 PM
summer is officially over and it's signal no. 1 on most parts of the country.. good news is it's not scorching hot anymore, although this kind of weather makes up a very dreary monday.. at least i saw Erlyn this morning...it's always nice to see a friend..

i'm all alone here in the IT dept.. don't know where they are.. there's a new guy again (another radix contractor), the one who replaced Glin.. still dunno if he's any better...hmm.. wonder where everybody is..maybe they went home already.. i went down at the fudpark with Ate Pretz to eat dinner and when i came back up, nobody was around. (hurrah for me!)
i could blog all night.. as if i've got something interesting to write, lol.. well anything's better than debugging this stupid VC++ program.. yeah, i'm back in this god forsaken language again 'cause they discovered a runtime error upon entering a certain date.. it's soo weird.. it only causes an error when i enter a birthday with a year = 1950-1952..i mean, when i enter any other year it works fine..grrr... kakainis.

...still got some traces of indelible (err, tama ba?) ink on my finger.. although it's almost invisible.. my first indelible-ink-stained-finger.. makes me feel patriotic, haha.. i belong to the 10% who voted for Ping.. looks like GMA will win.. anyway, anyone's better than FPJ... just hope they stop all these nonsense talk of carrying their electoral fraud complaints on the streets.. they're so stuuuuupid, thinking that everything can be solved by doing a People power thing...

System Time:7:00 PM
i'll be going now, bye all!

...keeps getting better and better

just got home.. watched van helsing.. then went shopping also for his clothes.. he bought 1 slacks, 2 t-shirts and 3 pairs of socks .. ( i didn't buy anything.. my cc bill's almost 6k already.. *wahahah*)

hmm.. but you know what's really on my mind? momi has become this awesome kisser.. lol.. i mean, i'm not a big fan of kissing 'cause i find errrr other things much more pleasurable.. but lately, i've been really enjoying his kisses, lol! especially tonight.. after he left, i couldn't help but do a little dance as i entered our house hahaha.. twas a good thing nobody saw me when i did it but i was dancing all the way to my room.. lol!

actually, the day didn't start out as great 'cause first of all, dex was in the wrong MALL... i called him and asked where he was.. he said he was in the cinema level.. so i went to the cinema level, but he wasn't there.. yun pala he was in sta.lucia and i was in robinson.. kala nya robinson din yung lumang sta.lucia.. it was an honest mistake but syempre kakafrustrate parin diba hehe..pero yun, at this point in our relationship.. it's easy for me to let these petty stuff go.. what's important is that we were together for half a day and had a great time.. twas the shopping part that i really enjoyed.. 'cause it's fun to shop for other people! and just being near him all day,..it makes my heart beat a little faster...we were totally PDA! lol! i'm sooo not a PDA person but dex... waah.. i just love dex. *momiiiiiiiii miss na kitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*

if PC suddenly materialized in front of me right this moment, i wouldn't give him a second glance. i hope that really explains how i feel about dex these past months. sometimes i feel that it's too good to be true, but then again, i'd hate to ponder on things and create problems when everything is just fine. live by the moment, right? and at this moment, it's just me and my momi.

gudnite everyone!

...making credit card companies richer

okay, it's a great MONTH for credit cards... i've used mine again.. (as my sister said, it's gonna be my downfall)... but still, it's instant gratification and the guilty feeling of not saving my money greatly outweighs the feel of clinique make-up on a newly washed face by sekkisei soap. har har har.

bought a great 3 in 1 makeup stick from maybelline.. the new sun block by clinique (oil free!) blistex lipbalm and this great mask by fasio.. oh, and yeah.. my sekkisei soap and neutrogena deep clean (it's on sale, okay!)

shiiit. momi's at sta. lu already.. ndi kasi nagtext, ndi pa ako naliligo.. babay na!

have a happy weekend!

...the weekend-feeling is finally back

My blog last May 7, 2004:

System Time: 4:32 PM
i will be going home on 5 pm! yeheyyyy! and i won't be coming to work tomorrow... yeheyyy! i've finished every module assigned to me and i'll be having a stress free weekend at last.. *whew* ms. marivic said she'll just assign a new module on tuesday.. yeheyy againn!! saya pala na walang iniisip na trabaho pag weekend..

it's the presidential election this monday.. who are you going to vote for? survey says that GMA has a good lead against FPJ.. that means i can vote for someone that i really like, not someone whom i feel is the lesser evil... i'm going to vote for Ping! hehe.. i don't care that he doesn't have a chance at winning.. at least i voted for someone whose principles i like.. (patay kung patay haha).. besides, i hate GMA 'cause she uses MY taxes in her campaign fund.. and Roco seems like he doesn't want to win with his half-hearted campaigning.. (and he's sick for goodness, sake) .. i would have voted for Bro. Eddie but i simply hate his infomercial.. "Bangon, pilipinas.. Bangon.." (bwiset!) ... Ping's platform is the best.. and we Filipinos need someone with strong political will (walang may utang na loob!) and who can discipline us.. that's how other Asian countries got their economies back in track.. leaders with a no-nonsense way of running the country.. so, this coming election, kay Ping tayo! hehe!

finished reading Angels and Demons.. malufet, pare! .. ganda ganda.. never really liked reading science fiction books but this one, i really liked. maybe because it's not that science fiction-y.. most of the stuff written their are factual.. the places, the artifacts.. the setting was in Vatican.. i learned so much 'bout the difference churches and museums there just by reading the book! hehe

System Time 5:00 PM
babayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!System Time: 4:32 PM
i will be going home on 5 pm! yeheyyyy! and i won't be coming to work tomorrow... yeheyyy! i've finished every module assigned to me and i'll be having a stress free weekend at last.. *whew* ms. marivic said she'll just assign a new module on tuesday.. yeheyy againn!! saya pala na walang iniisip na trabaho pag weekend..

it's the presidential election this monday.. who are you going to vote for? survey says that GMA has a good lead against FPJ.. that means i can vote for someone that i really like, not someone whom i feel is the lesser evil... i'm going to vote for Ping! hehe.. i don't care that he doesn't have a chance at winning.. at least i voted for someone whose principles i like.. (patay kung patay haha).. besides, i hate GMA 'cause she uses MY taxes in her campaign fund.. and Roco seems like he doesn't want to win with his half-hearted campaigning.. (and he's sick for goodness, sake) .. i would have voted for Bro. Eddie but i simply hate his infomercial.. "Bangon, pilipinas.. Bangon.." (bwiset!) ... Ping's platform is the best.. and we Filipinos need someone with strong political will (walang may utang na loob!) and who can discipline us.. that's how other Asian countries got their economies back in track.. leaders with a no-nonsense way of running the country.. so, this coming election, kay Ping tayo! hehe!

finished reading Angels and Demons.. malufet, pare! .. ganda ganda.. never really liked reading science fiction books but this one, i really liked. maybe because it's not that science fiction-y.. most of the stuff written their are factual.. the places, the artifacts.. the setting was in Vatican.. i learned so much 'bout the difference churches and museums there just by reading the book! hehe

System Time 5:00 PM
babayyyyyyyyyyyyyy! vote wisely!