Monday, December 30, 2002

hay. kakasenti. hehe. (sabay tawa)

seriously.. i miss HS life.. problems back then were petty and easily solved.. EMOTIONal problem? ano yun dibuh? now i know the meaning of the words.. wholly and embedded in my soul..

here's to my Kulasa friends! *hugs* *mwah* missyou!

why d laugh? been reading some HS palanca letters.. throwing out some (ansama!) think keeping some of them for more than 5 years is enough.. was i THAT bad when i was in highschool? got a lot of stuff like... "kaka pikon ka talaga dati" or.. "paminsan isipin mo naman na nakakasakit ka na ng tao" HEHE. actually.. now that i try to remember.. i was really kinda (?) mean.. especially when i was in 3rd year HS.. really treated the "other" kids err.. basta ndi ako mabait.. i was only good with MY friends.. but i think i changed during my senior year.. tried to be friends with everyone.. and i got some positive reactions from that in my letters also.. that i was friendlier and i tried to widen my circle of friends.. hehe..

will go back to reading.. gaaah.. wasn't i supposed to be cleaning?

presently cleaning my room... my hands are so filthy that i think i'm leaving fingerprints in my keyboard.. hehe.. think i'm already half way through.. been mostly throwing out stuff.. unlike most people.. i'm not really the sentimental type.. like the ones who have a hard time throwing stuff 'cause they always recall some sort of cherished memory from things.. i remember them, mind you.. but i think they'll just gather dust anyways so it's better to get rid of them.. i've always believed that memories are instilled in the mind.. not in material things.. that's just my opinion, of course...

there are a few stuff that i can't throw away, though.. mostly letters from different people.. like palanca letters i received when i was in highschool and college .. (the kind they give you when you're in a retreat).. birthday greetings.. letters from ex's... yep they're still there.. don't have the heart to throw them.. can't even delete my IRC logs... placed all of them in a separate folder.. it sometimes makes me happy to read them... i try not to ponder on what happened to THESE people.. but to concentrate on HAPPY moments.. happy thoughts.. :)

also destroyed (hehe) my harry potter shrine.. now, it consists of my TCG collection.. bought a new one yesterday.. a Legolas starter deck for my LOTR TCG.. quite happy with it.. think i stared at Legolas' face for a full minute before opening the box.. lol..

/me looks at bedside table..

gaah.. there are SO much junk stuffed inside that i have this urge to just throw EVERYTHING out.. better start.. it's already 12:30 pm and i wanna finish before i eat my lunch..

blog u later.

PS. TG i deleted my IRC. right after i connected i clicked my IRC shortcut located in my confused for a minute 'cause the dialog "finding program achuchu" sprung up.. sorry.. bad habit -_-.

Saturday, December 28, 2002

just a few days to go before the start of a new year... time for resolutions.. not that i actually do them.. it's just fun for a while when you remember them and attempt to stick to them.. even for just a few days... i remember telling myself last year to stop swearing... was pretty funny cause i'll be saying..."tae" instead of tangina.. hmm.. though i think this year has become my "swear smorgasbord all time high year" hehe..

... has been an OK year.. considering...
1. resigned from first job.. reasons for which were pretty stupid.. just got to the point that i can find no satisfaction in my life..
2. got a new job.. office sux...
3. lost a really really BIG material thing (gaah.. naalala ko na naman -_-)
4. still no improvement re: relationship with dex

i was considering going to Cebu next year.. in time for sinulog.. and to meet him again.. but i decided (just now) to follow my friend's advice...i quote mel: "ang dami mo nang nagastos para sa kanya. marami pang iba dyan sa tabi tabi".. tama! hehe... he didn't even greet me this christmas.. :( it's so sad.. but i'm beyond tears already.. i just feel like i'm a big empty box.. -_-

i decided to do something drastic this year.. really drastic for me 'cause it has been my lifestyle for the past couple of years.. i'm going to attempt to stop chatting.. (take note of the "attempt" word).. IRC has brought a lot of pain in my life this year.. although it had its moments.. not to forget my wonderful IRC friends... (*hugs ate charol) but i think.. new year calls for a new start..
... i'm still going to blog.. and finish everything that i've started.. (like my HP and the fan site).. i'm going to delete my 2 IRC programs in my hard disk tonight.. that's why i'm considering this night as my last night to go online and properly say farewell to my #ust friends.. (LOL DRAMA!) .. think this is going to be the best decision that i'll make this year.. to stop chatting.. my family will be grateful of course... especially my sisters.. who have been my constant complainers.. hehe...

...i'll see you guys around.

happy new year :)

Friday, December 27, 2002

be good to yourself. hay ate cha.

SANA talaga magising na ako.



Thursday, December 26, 2002

hay. pak. -_-
almost forgot...

tama bang lumampas ako kaninang umaga sa opisina.. taenang yan.. wala kasing katraffic-traffic! naiba yung oras ko ng pagtulog sa shuttle.. paggising ko.. putik asa guadalupe na ako eh dapat sa boni ako bumababa.. sayang tuloy 10 piso ko sa mrt.. buti na lang maaga pa... ndi parin ako nalate.. pero takte.. sayang pera ko! haha.. la lang..

gudnayt all!

been thinking on my way home re: my program. (watda!?).. i mean.. i kept debugging in my head my source code as to why it isn't functioning in the way i expected it to be.. lolz.. anywayz.. the exercise is actually finished.. but Ma'am Belle explained her style to us and i wanted to adapt it to my program.. but i can't fucking make it work.. hay.. already have a game plan for tomorrow.. sorry but i have to blurt them out here for me to remember them...
.. 1. create separate subroutine for review option (use mode=4)
2. check the freaking loop.. my 'val' variable, my dowhile statement
3. make sure i turned off indicators and cleared message description field after EXFMT

... hmmm... my officemates kept on telling me not to change my program (cause it's already finished) but i really really want to try and make Ma'am Belle's style work..



la lang! hehe. nakngputekgustokonangpumuntasacebu!

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

merry christmas. :)

Monday, December 23, 2002

haaaaaaaaay. /me sings.. everything falls apart..

can't even talk about it here in the blog.. makes me soooooooo sad.

can't seem to see the silver lining in this particular grey cloud..


gotta sleep.


Saturday, December 21, 2002

grabe. watachristmasparti! was really flooding with beer.. they said they bought a total of 18 cases.. i was already wasted around 2 am.. was a little bit disappointed with our presentation 'cause we could barely hear our vocalist.. tas feedback pa ng feedback yung lecheng mic.. hehe.. pero i think maraming nagulat na marunong akong magdrums.. kaya aliw...

kainish puh e.. nung mga 2 am na nga.. humiga lang ako dun sa pinagdikit dikit kong upuan.. thinking na sandali lng.. idlip lang.. naramdaman ko na lng na ginigising na ako at 4 am na at pauwi na daw sila.. lolz!.. olats ko kainish haha.. nakatulog talaga ako.. bilib nga daw sila saken dhel khet gaano sila kaingay tulog parin daw ako.. ayun.. ay .. nanalo ako ng rice cooker.. hahahaha.. kaya nagpasama muna ako keh koji pauwi kasi di ko alam kung pano ko bibitbitin yung rice cooker tsaka yung giveaway na ham and other achuchuchu stuff.. saya talaga! tas kulit ng presentations ng iba.. yung 2 grupo parehong nag dance number.. kakatawa sobra.. tas meh badtrip palang nangyari.. tangina nakabasag ako ng baso.. hiyang hiya ako nun chet.. talagang nagslip lang sa kamay ko.. waaaaah... kahiya.. obvious tuloy na lasheng na ako.. eh mababa lang alcohol tolerance ko e.. nung naka 6 na ako talagang meh tama na talga ako.. lolz.. bitin nga ako dun sa sayawan.. kasi ngaaaaaaa natulog ako bwiset hahaha.. nung ginising na nila ako.. pumunta muna kaming wendys nagpatanggal ng amats.. tas isa isa nameng hinintay na makasakay yung mga officemates ko... tas kami ni koji bumalik sa office.. stay kami dun hanggang mga quarter to 7 .. tas nakauwi ako mga 8 a.m... oha.. ang aga kong umuwi.. lol!

gusto ko pang magwento kaya lang medyo tinatamad na ako.. hehe.. ay meh isa pang good news.. meh nagiinquire (sa wakas) dun sa thinkpad ko.. magkikita kami supposedly bukas para tingnan nya yung unit.. sana kunin na.. para magkapera na ako...

ayun.. babay !

Thursday, December 19, 2002

just drank one bottle of beer. a teaser for tomorrow's christmas party... kuyuh don² offered us some.. hehe.. now am really psyched up to bang away on the drums...

gaah.. papunta na daw sila dito.. ang tagal! lumaki kagad tsan ko sa isang beer hehe..

surp ulit.
wow. am actually posting at the office... just waiting for my officemates to arrive with the equipment.. gonna have our last practice for tonight.. already 8 pm and still no sign of chipper and koji...

am actually pretty excited for our presentation tomorrow.. but am also a bit nervous 'cause we haven't practiced that much.. total of just 2 practices in a band studio.. gaaah!? i mean, how good can one get in just 2 practices? that's why our last practice is very critical.. don't want to totally embarass ourselves infront of the whole company!

hayyy.. am again adjusting with the PC keyboard.. /me tapon backspace key tutal ndi ko naman ginagamit. chet.

hmm... ANG TAGAL nila.. asan na buh sila..

surp muna. hafto grab the chance of a DSL connected net.

bye all!

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

hi all!!!

nice to see my posting page for my blogger site.. been 4 days since my last blog.. nothing spectacular has happened, just us still practicing for the christmas party.. we attempted to practice again today but it turned out to be just one LONG road trip..

gaaah.. i have reached my quota storage limit for my yahoo account... paking forwarders.. LOL.. (juks onleh guys)

nyehhhhhhhh... just found out they lowered my access in #ust.. nawala lang ako ng ilang araw, ano buh yun!? ... hay feeling ko suspect na naman ako dun sa nagtatanggal ng axes ng mga tao.. as ip..di ako nagtatanggal noh.. tsk.. hay. sa bagay.. di ko nga napansin e,.. kung hindi lang tinanong saken ni johnell kung bakit bumaba access ko.. gaaah..

anywayz ayun.. hay.. eka nabwiset ako e, LOL!

hay magdedelete pa ako ng mail. practice na naman ulit bukas... mag te-twelve na.. dapat ng makatulog..

ay.. saw Ton² today.. cute nya parin. lalo na nung sinabi nyang.. "hi, che" HEHEHE. tas biglang hirit na "oh, parang bangag ka pa?"
kakagising ko lang kasi sa fx tas biglang stop ko na pala. lolz. anywayz ayun.. always a pleasure to see him. maybe i'll have sweet dreams later. :)

nayt all!

Saturday, December 14, 2002

haven't been blogging... usually am very tired and sleepy when i get home from work.. anywayz.. still same work.. same officemates.. been training now for RPG, one of the programming languages you can use on an AS400 machine.. has been pretty interesting.. though my officemates are the main reasons why i'm enjoying the trainings.. they could be quite a riot.. lol!

..just got home batchmates and I have been practicing for our presentation for the office christmas party.. we'll be presenting first (boo-hoo) so the pressure's on us.. gaaah.. just hope we won't screw up.. we've been playing (or at least attempting to) sway.. don't stray.. don't ever go away.. ..i'm playing the drums.. hehe.. we still have another practice tomorrow here at our house.. we don't have any electric guitars or amps so we'll just have to use acoustic guitars.. at least we'll be able to practice the chords and the singing parts..

hmm.. christmas is fast approaching.. and i still haven't bought any gifts for my family.. already bought stuff for my inaanaks.. (i only have two).. hay. SMC na naman! lolz!.. i miss my momi ... if a genie popped up and gave me a wish, i'd wish for us to be together... it makes me so sad when i think of the possibility that we might not meet again.. 'cause i haven't heard a WORD from him ever since he left for Cebu.. hay momi. it's a fucking cycle. -_-

actually.. i don't what's wrong with me.. but there have been some very disturbing thoughts entering my head.. that maybe it's not Dex that i miss perce.. but you know..that i may be just plain missing someone whom i could love and be with.. hmm.. and my thoughts on pangs.. (uh-oh.. not again..).. i think i've figured out and labeled some emotions that i've been feeling these past few weeks.. and ever since knowing what these feelings are, have been doing my best to stop them.. and just block things out... when i find myself thinking about him... or when i'm missing him.. i just STOP and do other stuff.. it's extremely hard.. especially writing this in my blog.. cause the more i write about him.. the more that i know how helpless my situation is.. i'm in love again with someone who doesn't love me back... i'm nothing to him.. when all i want to be is everything for him... tsk tsk tsk.. maybe it's really easy for me to fall for someone.. 'cause i've only met him once for God's sake.. and here i am.. writing an almost entire blog about him.. if he just stopped calling you know,.. i just know that i'll be able to forget him.. time does heal wounds .. but not when the wound keeps on getting scratched and messed with.. if he would just ignore me, give me my one last cry.. then all of my whining and longing will be over... hay. this blog is making me lonely again.

gotta sleep. much to do on d morrow.

no melody can seem to soothe my mind

Friday, December 06, 2002

just got home... syempre pinagalitan na naman ako.. ewan ko buh sa kanila.. sinabi ko naman na ihahatid ako sa bahay... gaaahh..

san buh ko galing, aber..

una.. kumain kami sa shangri-la.. syempre japanese ulit.. sa kitaro.. tas konting arcade.. tas nung mga 9 pm na, pumunta na kami ni Koji kela Spraken.. ayun.. 2 beer.. tapos nung mga 10:30 pm.. pumunta na kami Big shots.. andun din iba naming officemates..

ayun.. umalis ako dun 1:30 am at nakarating ng bahay ng 2:30am.. hahaaaaaaay.. tas eto ako ngayon online parin LOL!..

hay tutulog na nga ako.


Tuesday, December 03, 2002

just finished encoding my blog.. hehe.. so low-tech..

anywayz.. already 11:30 pm.. prepared my Harry potter cards.. ate gay and i might be able to play during lunch time.. Ma'am Bel said we'll be starting with RPG programming tomorrow.. excited for that, now that i'm actually getting the hang of CL programming..

nite all!
...presently writing in my Harry Potter notebook.. have finished all exercises ahead of time (woohoo!) and am just entertaining myself.. this free novel from cosmo on my way to the office..titled 'Getting Better' by Tara FT Sering.. got depressed after finishing it.. not that it wasn't well written.. it actually had funny moments but i didn't like the ending.. story was nothing original.. the girl found out that her fiance` cheated on her.. in the end she moved on with her life because she found her replacement man.. sucks.. thought cosmo's theme was all about fun, fearless females... gaaah.. so the question is, .. is another man the answer to one's heartache? of course,.. the answer is a resounding NO.. that's the main reason why i didn't like the novel.. the lead character was a pathetic, dependent woman.. i mean, why does it become a "happy ending" when a girl gets hooked up with a new guy.. haaaaay..'s unfair..(eh? basta yun na yun!)

..learned a new slang today.. keps.. LOL!!! had to ask Koji and Chipper its meaning.. was later ashamed to death that i haven't learned it sooner.. gaaah! .. at least the novel had its purpose.. contained a lot of slangs..(bastos slangs hehe)

..haven't scanned my bday pictures yet.. my sister boxed me out at the PC last night.. have loads of stuff to do actually...
1. scan bday pictures
2. make galler for home page
3. scan how-to macrame stuff for ate ging
4. make gallery for fan site (and update the paking site!)

....don't know when i'll be able to spare time to actually accomplish my list (priority: #3, #1, #2, #4)
...#4 is quite tasking 'cause i still haven't captured images from the vcd...

Sunday, December 01, 2002

ay forgot to tell.. already watched Die Another Day.. in my opinion.. is the best James Bond movie i ever watched... was everything i expected a Bond film to be..

bye again!

birthday bash was a success! though some people weren't able to go.. (wapaks HS barkada) there were still plently of people to finish off the 3 cases of beer i bought.. my college friends were all there.. (hugs all of you).. my ex-officemates, chatmates, present officemates... even Ma'am Belle, (my boss and sis) went! but of course, i still wasn't lucky enough.. JUSKOPONG MERALCO YAN.. tama bang magbrownout!.. at first i was really, really pissed... but my guests weren't bothered that much.. (wahaha buti na lng, pero kabwiset parin).. good thing it was already past 1 am and it was already a little bit cold so they weren't too uncomfortable.. a lot of people got lost.. though officemate Chipper was the most-lost-at-the-mountains winner.. was MILES away from our house.. was beginning to get a liitle irritated at him when he kept on saying to me in his sarcastic, olats manner .. "great party, uh".. gaahh.. it WAS a great party.. to think we had no electricty.. but my friends are chatmates are good sports (unlike him-- party pooper) and they compensated with whatever we had.. which was of course, food and beer and people.. Bevs was playing at the piano all brownout-long with Irvie and Eugene belting out the "tunes".. chatmates formed their on circle and were just chatting all night.. though Nardo was always getting teased with people saying "Yeeeeeeee!" in the background.. LOL.. (you won't get the joke if you don't know his history, of course.. hehe)

the next morning... Irvie, Bevs, Roni, Eboy, Eugene were the ones left and we all went to our farm-liit at Paenaan.. was soooooo fun.. we had our "safari ride" (LOL).. had a fear factor test.. and went river tampisaw-ing.. hehe.. Eboy even said she's limping because of our so-called leap of faith.. hehe.. we had to jump between canals to go to the river.. irvie was the funniest 'cause she said she felt as if she stopped in mid-air and that if it wasn't for us pulling her to the other side, that she might have fallen.. LOL! too bad ria, harbie and anshe weren't there.. think they left at around 4 am..

... more good news.. ate's advance christmas gift is.. (pabulong) .. erhmm.. cool dudes vcd.. BWAHAHAHAHAH.. now i'll be able to finish my gallery.. no more excuses! lolz..

speaking of which.. better get started before i get lazy again....

bye all!