Wednesday, December 22, 2004

...meh hipon aku..huhuhu

that's supposed to be "sipon" but everytime i speak it, it comes sounding like hipon..(though i did have shrimp for lunch)... i know i haven't been blogging, but there's not much to tell anyway.. i've been mostly staying at home, except last weekend where i helped mom with her bazaar and mostly manned her booth.. Raymond also helped me, for the first 2 days (for which i am eternally grateful.. i love you pangs!) 'cause my mom had parties to attend to (my mom has a better social life than i have).. i did saw Tenten last Friday at Megamall.. i texted her and told her to drop by our tiangge and she did more than just that.. she even bought 6 oatmeal brownies from me! yey! i guess i don't show it, but i really enjoy selling and helping my mom in her business... it's a different feeling of fulfillment when you see the stuff you made are actually appreciated and bought by some head's full of ideas now, and i really want to make mom's business bigger and better..

anyway, i'm online cause i have to start modifying the eqgroup sharepoint site.. but then i found out that i need Frontpage 2003 for me to configure it fully.. grrrr.. oh yeah, pasko na pala this saturday.. i had just finished wrapping my presents for my inaanaks (there are only 3 of them) and i'm still in the process of wrapping the other gifts to my radix officemates.. i'm attending their Christmas party tomorrow.. sumali pa nga ako sa exchange gift nila eh (bwhahaha kapal ano) pero di ko kilala yung nabunot ko.. it's a guy and i just bought some shoe bag and a towel from Human for him (150 worth daw eh).. since i started working, i don't get excited anymore when it's christmas time 'cause it only meant one thing to me.. GASTOS! waaah. it's not for the PAL type of person..(palamunin).. sabi nga nila, ang Pasko ay para sa bata.. i just don't enjoy it anymore..especially this christmas, wala na si lola.. (/me tingin sa taas)

on a happy note, ate ging's going back tomorrow! i do miss her ( and envy her! she got to watch Maroon 5 on concert! waaah), it's kinda sad when we eat out and i automatically tell the waitress "for 5 po" then i say.. "ayy! 4 lang pala kami".. plus, i wanna tell ate ging something.. siya na lang hindi nakakaalam sa family eh hihihi..i still have to buy a christmas present for her pala.. i already bought mom's (a Red Earth All Around Concealer.. she kept on using my Cinema Secrets one) and Ate Chary's (Maybelline Forever Metallics Lipstick and EyeBrow Duo).. i didn't buy Ate ging's present yet 'cause she can be quite picky so i'm gonna buy hers at Essences or Beauty Bar in Makati..baka sapukin ako nun pagbinigyan ko ng Maybelline, harharhar.. (keh ate Chary kasi, 500 bucks lng ang budget ko, dhel yun din yung value nung binigay nya sakeng sandals, LOL!) keh Dad, nagshare kami ni Ate chary to buy him this pair of shoes na nagustuhan nya, buti na lng, nakakita si Daddy ng cheaper shoes! Guys' shoes are sooo expensive! yung napili ni Daddy, tag 800 lang kami ni Ate.. woohoo!

i took this quiz pangs linked me to..

Which OS are You?

paalam muna, have a merry christmas!

pangs ko, mnmnmnk!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 really, really, reaaally lazy dude

okay. so the title's me. i'm supposed to be in Makati today and yesterday for my meeting with Clive and Greg but i had to cancel it yesterday so i supposedly moved it today and tomorrow BUT i dunno what's with me (or is it just my lovely, fluffy pillow) that i seem to have trouble getting off my bed. i had my alarm on so when it turned on around 6:30 am.. it just took me exactly 2 seconds to shut it up and go back to sleep.. i dreamt that i was already taking a shower, putting on clothes, then i heard my cellphone ringing. in reality, i was still in my bed (don't you just HATE those kind of dreams... pinapaasa ka na nakatayo ka na! grrrrr) and salivating my pillow (ugh).. it was my pangs who i know is sooo pissed at me (that's the main reason i blogged this blog) for being the lazy person that i am...waah i can't help it. waking up is suuuch a hassle. i really don't know how i'm supposed to find a job next year if i keep this up. arrrggh. I just emailed them (Greg and Clive) and told them that i can do it in the comforts of my own home (plus i don't want to go there and spend the day installing all the software that i need) and have something to show them by the end of the week.

and pangs.. waaah please don't be angry at me (or whatever word you want to describe your mood now).. did you know that i already met his mother and his sister? i was so drastically nervous at first but his mother kept on smiling at me and his sister was downright nice that i had no problem swallowing the food that i was eating..(that was my fear, that i would be so nervous that i wouldn't be able to eat) and his friends are cool and you could see their personality already.. wilson's the loud one, romeo's the quiet one, and ame.. well i haven't really seen that much from him but he seems to be the "dramatic" one..(he had a fight with his gf)

anyway, pangsssss.. i keep on disappointing you.. and i'm so sorry! it's just the way i am i guess,.. lazy, papalit-palit ng isip, sleepaholic.. but i'm not changing my mind next year.. nope, never! i just hope that you feel the same way still. i'll somehow make it up to you,..okay? ILYsm!

Monday, December 06, 2004

...busy, busihan

yep, i'm kind of loving my life right now (obvious buh, ndi tuloy nakakablog, hehe).. ei, belated happy birthday to me! thanks to everyone who greeted, texted, emailed me last Nov. 27.. salamat sa greetings! i had a GREAT birthday! mom, dad, raymond and i went to Isabela 'cause it was my pamangkin's christening.. ninang ako! since it was gonna be a long weekend, we decided to make it LOOOnger and left for Isabela on Friday morning (nov 26)..nov 28 pa yung binyag kaya tumulong din kami keh ate marian mamili ng grocery and prizes sa games.. before that, eve ng 26th eh we waited for my birthday tas binigay ni pangs yung gift nya saken... waaah it's soooo cool.. yung lomo action sampler camera na lagi naming tinitingan sa montage sa greenbelt! wahahaha. super thanks my pangs! check out these photos of my super cute inaanak!!



cute nya noh! and syempre capture and cuteness nya sa camera ko! meh time pa nga na nadelay yung pagprint ng pictures kasi nagulat yung nagpaprocess at bakit daw meh 4 shots sa isang print.. harhar.. gusto kong sabihin.. tagabundok nga kayu! hehe, parang nalaman ko lng din yun this past month lang ata..

these are shots naman of howell, the cute but very, very pikon (mana keh tita che, lol) pamangkin (anak din ni kuyuh manel) na pagnatatalo sa ps2 eh pinapatay yung console! at grabe, tsaket manungtok uh! lol pasalamat siya cute siya hehe.. super gwapo siguro nito pagtanda..fave ko yung second shot, meh light effect pa kasi!


and of course, this is me, pacute parin. harharhar.


asteeeeeeg ng camera ko dibuh? again, courtesy of my pangs. mwahmwahmwah ily!



and these are shots from Isabela, from my father's camera.


sumasama rin ako keh momi sa bazaar nya sa megamall eh,.. nakikiraket buh ehehe.. kwento ko later.. bye for now!

Sunday, November 21, 2004 you lola

Originally uploaded by geWi.
a LOT has happened this past week, and i don't really know how to start this blog..i have so much stuff to tell, but all of them seem pretty petty because of what happened last monday morning. My lola died that day. My mom's mom.. the one whom i had the chance to live with for 4 years, when i was studying at UST. the one who calls me "Baby ko" each time she sees me. the only one who was able to fatten me up a bit, with her constant reminder for me to eat something before i leave the house. the one who will give us 500 bucks on our birthday. the one who didn't look like 90 'cause she walked, talked, and listened to us like a 30 year old would do. but that was her age, 90. i knew of course, that the time will come for her to leave us and join our lolo.. but i guess, i was in denial. i couldn't imagine then that she would leave us. i have always imagined that she would live until she was 110 and that she'll be able to see Tenten grow into a young man, or that she'll be able to see MY future children. it still feels surreal, to be honest. This morning we went to loyola to visit her. i didn't cry at that time, maybe because my cousins were there to provide the necessary distraction. it was like old times, when we would visit lolo, but this time, lola is with him. i still feel so lonely when i think that lola is gone. she's really gone. everytime i go up to Auntie Boot's apartment, i will no longer go straight to Lola's room and bless to her. I will no longer see her there, watching the stupid Kapamilya channel or watch her beat my Aunts and Uncles when they play mahjong. I wont be able to kiss her goodbye or hug her anymore. i will no longer see her each Christmas Day. it just hurts so much. i know she's in heaven now, and i should quit being selfish. she's where she belongs, beside lolo and beside God. I just want to thank her for loving us unconditionally. I thank her for being the best lola one could possibly have. I thank her for giving me the best memories a grand child can have. I love you so much lola. I will miss you terribly.

Friday, November 12, 2004


i'm at Pramerica, sitting on my pangs' chair and using his PC.. i'm here 'cause Sir Tony treated the whole IT dept for lunch (pa-despedida saken.. think they're just plain glad i left HEHE) and raymond's not here so i'm taking advantage and updating my blog.. i haven't been really productive (okay, i wasn't productive AT ALL) since i resigned so it's time for one of my to Do lists, hoping this time, i'll be at least able to do half of them..

Things to Do Next Week: (in order of importance)
1. Update Jul's site
2. Get a student's permit
3. Go to the Bank and Deposit my Check
4. Go to UST for my TOR and Diploma (yep, finally!)
5. Go to Divisoria for items in my gift boxes
6. Go to DBP and help mom in her booth
7. Install Office 2003 and research on Outlook and Microsoft Exchange (for EQ Group.. i'll be paid by the hour for that, harharhar)

hmm.. that's it.. it's such an easy list, right? (wahaha.) i'll probably do #1 this weekend, 2 and 3 on Monday, #4 on Tuesday and #5 on Wednesday..

dito na si pangs.. bye all!

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

tarp the dreamer

tarp the dreamer
Originally uploaded by geWi.
..this is tarp, the dreamer. he dreams of clear skies and death by accident.. (to double the insurance, hehe) actually, he just wishes someone stitches the hole he has on his back.. tsk, damn saleslady. wala daw kasing stock, meh butas pala si tarp. grrr. haba storya eh, kung bakit tarp ang pangalan nya.. it's short for tarpaulin..(arrgh di ko alam spelling) as in yung banner.. secret na lang kung bakit siya si tarp.. hehe. ilymp!


family pic
Originally uploaded by geWi.
uy, sabi ko na nga ba eh, tama yung sabi ng mga ipismeyts ko sa radix.. nagdadalangtuta daw ako.. hehe.. ang cute ni tarp, kamukha ng tatay. wahaha.(not na mukhang aso ka pangs uh) but pangs.. why the sad look? hehe.. gutom na ata.. grabe, sa norsagaray toh, the langaw infested area.. you don't see them now.. pero believe me.. ang dami! it was scaryyyy.. as in ang hirap kumain.. naawa nga ata saken si pangs eh.. kasi naman, ang hirap kaya kumain habang nagpapaypay sabay subo tas pag susubo ka biglang meh tsempong langaw sa spoon mo huhuhu.. anyway, this was AFTER eating, sans the langaws.

...tarp in norsagaray

tarp the dreamer2
Originally uploaded by geWi.
tarp again.. mukhang meh pinagmumunimunihan eh.. hmm.. *esep esep* din.. maybe he's just basking on the ambiance.. and the langaws..

raffy cute

raffy cute
Originally uploaded by geWi.
yeahhhhh go raffy!!! make your tita proud hehe! this was taken on Nov. 2, sa himlayang Pilipino.. andun mga pamangkin ko and they were more than willing to pose for me hehe. this is raffy, uber-cute and hayok sa camera. alang shy-shy sa batang ito. you gotta love him for that.

raffy peace

raffy peace
Originally uploaded by geWi.
yeah, peace in the world! syempre ako nagturo sa kanya na mag peace sign.. ang kyut kyut ni raffy super.. khet anong sabihin kong posing ginagawa.. tapos after nyang makita sa phone ko yung picture nya... sasabihin nya "si raffy.. si raffy!" sabay turo sa phone..tapos sasabihin nya "isa pa. ulit. isa pa" lol! naka 20 pictures ata ako sa kanya.. just look at my flicker site here for more of his pictures!


Originally uploaded by geWi.
this is miggy.. kapatid ni clarice.. ang daldal na nya uh, ang bilis lumaki.. dati lang eh hindi pa siya naglalakad at silent worker... ngayon ang daldal! sabi nya saken.. "scubidu..scubidu!" sabi ko haaa anoooo? "scubidu!!!!!" yung scooby doo na dvd pala ndi nya makita.. tapos hindi na siya pwedeng manood ng spiderman.. kasi nakita ni Ate Jal, his Mom, na nakabaliktad sa double-deck bed, with his arms outstretched at sumisigaw ng "GO WEB!!" hehehehe. cute.

pretty clarice

pretty clarice
Originally uploaded by geWi.
goshhhh, so pretty naman hehe.. dalagang dalaga na nga toh kung kumilos eh.. this is clarice, anak ni kuyuh teggy and ate jal.. (kuyuh teggy's my cousin) hindi siya bold uh, nakatube ang lola mo at mega-projek.. maybe if i was this pretty i'd smile this cutesy smile too.. lol

my pamangkins

the kids
Originally uploaded by geWi.
aren't they the cutest kids you've ever seen! just don't get too close to them or they'll beat you up really bad.. i'm not kidding! bugbog sarado kayo sa 3 ito.. that's raffy, howell and clarice.. ang kyuuuuuuuuuuutt at pinagbigyan nila at ako nagposing sila para saken ng ganito.. this was taken last Nov. 2, sa Himlayang Pilipino

...bili na keyuuu

Originally uploaded by geWi.
si momi nagtiangge din sa megamall, nung last wednesday hanggang sunday.. meh wonder saleslady pa kami, si mariel, a UP-Dil college student na anak nung DTI rep ng rizal.. katuwa siya, galing magbenta, she's the primary reason bakit na boost ang sales ni momi.. galing galing! sana wag na lang siya mag-aral, magbenta na lang siya.. galing ng PR nya eh! hehe.. eto yung booth namin..

and more...

Originally uploaded by geWi.
nice box dibuhhh.. trimmed with abaca and katcha cloth (di ko alam spelling) ang kyut pa ng keychain!! kung magkakapet ako, gusto ko giraffe! hehehe. bisyo na toh.

more gift boxes

gift box2
Originally uploaded by geWi.
i've got lufas, brushes, mirrors, keychains, foot stuff.. all in the box! yung box pa nga lang, gift na yun eh, meh bonus pa.. meh laman na! hehehe!

gift items

gift items
Originally uploaded by geWi.
here are the gift boxes i made:
ooooooooo bili na keyuuuuuu!! lol! ayush ba rumaket? bili keyu saken uh,.. from P100-P150 lang mga yan! tamang tama pang giveaway sa pasko! gagawa din ako ng tag 50 bucks lng hehe.. *salesman mode*

...the day before today

hi guys! am still alive, just REALLY enjoying all this free time.. i love being a bum! maybe i'll just be a professional bum,..hmm.. wonder how i'll be able to earn some money by being one, lol! i'm supposed to upload some pics to my flicker site but my USB cable's lost somewhere in my dirty room.. maybe later, when i'm in the mood to clean up..

dami kong raket eh! hehe. syempre pag ala werk, dapat isip ng mga raket.. so i've been making some gift boxes that i'm gonna sell at DBP next week.. pumunta kaming divisoria ni pangs nung saturday, grabe. bugbugan. wahaha. meh isang time pa na napamura talaga ako "pu@#$#$ @##!!!" kasi naman yung trisikad na letche eh binangga yung boxes na dala dala ko napush tuloy ako sa isa sa mga tindahan dun..grrr. takte talaga. tapos umuulan pa!! hhuhuhu. mukha kaming gusgusin. pero in fairness, cool na cool parin si pangs uh..khet 4 na malalaking supot ang dala nya (oii meh dala rin akong 3 bag ano!) at nabubungo-bunggo kami ng mga tao.. now THAT'S love, lol! some sad news though,.. my lola's in the hospital, she's 90 and we're worried. i hope she's okay.. my mom's still there, she didn't go home last night, just stayed at the hospital to be with my lola.. nung andun kami, hinanap na naman nila tita si raymond, since nakita na nila siya nung saturday, dumiretso kasi kami dun sa sta.mesa after naming magdivisoria.. abah.. GOOD reviews! lol! sabi pa ni auntie boots.. "in fairness, meh itsura siya uh" hahaha.. tas si uncle rey naman "gwapo pala bf mo eh!" lol.. gosh, i'm so happy. hehe. eh yung mga auntie ko pa na yun, grabe manglait haha.. (pero hindi naman sa harap mo, pag wala ka na sa room lol).. so ngayon, LAHAT ng friends and family ko, na meet na ni raymond.. father's side nung pumunta kami sa norsagaray.. that was last, last saturday i think (ahhh can't remember) basta before mag november.. tapos sa mother's side.. yung cousins ko nung nagvideoke sa redbox, and my tita's nung last saturday nga lang.. my college friends (harbie, ria, etc) nung kasal ni Roni.. tapos my highschool friends, nung our usual get together.. i'm so proud of him.. todo na toh..

pangssss gusto ko naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! ate chaaa kasiii umuwi ka na!! lol!!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

...from sir Jayson's camera

Originally uploaded by geWi.
tinutukso kami nito eh hehe.. posing naman kami,.. tas sabi ni Sir Joel.. bat ang layo! pwede dumaan ang elepante sa gitna eh.. retake, retake! lol!

...powerpuff girls!

Originally uploaded by geWi.
hehehe. si Mario ang hirap pang iconvince na suotin yang mask na yan! bagay naman sa kanya, bwahahah! si blossom, meh balbas! hehehe.


Originally uploaded by geWi.
Doctora Zafra and Sir Jayson.. Doc's very convincing 'cause her costume can ooze fake blood..sir Jayson won the 2nd runner up for best in costume hehe! their full costumes

Originally uploaded by geWi.
that's Ms. Jean, Sir Jayson and Ma'am Marivic.. katawa, sasaksakin na yung clown,nakangiti parin siya hehe! tas si Ms. Jean daw parang si undertaker..

...yey day

System Time: 8:49 AM
hay. wala si pangs today. this is gonna be one loooong day.

good thing that Ma'am M's not going to work today as well, 'cause she said she has some wedding to attend. TG for small favors, hehe. at least i could slack it off today, without Ma'am M breathing down my neck every few minutes saying "Geri, okay na?".. looks like i'll still be going to work next week, with my 2-page-long list of pending items.. hahayy.

of course, there are still some good news.. i'll be receiving the 2nd half of the EQ payment soon! hurrah! i finally finished that site (oops, almost finished, there's still one page i'm waiting to fill up with their info) but i already sent an invoice for a cool 8k. yey. i'll also be sending an invoice in Jul's site, another 5k. yey again. syempre pambayad ko lang ng phone bill and credit card and utang yun, but at least, meh pambayad dibuh? lol! medyo gipit talaga at tama bang maningil pa ako ng meh utang saken. wahaha nagtext pa ako at naningil talaga, sana maawa saken hehe.

anyway, yesterday was another prAmerica Employee Gathering and the theme was Halloween so it was really fun to see the tanders in full blown costumes.. free food, (meh kwekkwek! bwehehe) great laughs, ..saya! i'm hoping i could ask someone who took pictures for some of the shots so i could upload it to my flicker site..

System Time: 9:19 AM
nothing brightens a non-pangs day like a Maroon 5 playlist..currently listening to Shiver

There may not
Be another way to your heart
So I guess I'd better find a new way in
I shiver when I hear your name
Think about you but it's not the same
I won't be satisfied I?m under your skiiiiin yeahhh yeahh yeahhhhhhh

System Time: 10:39 AM
looooong dayyy. will be lunching out with Kate today..

System Time: 11:12 AM
woohoo! Ma'am Grace of EQ called, i'll be receiving my payment next week yey! then i just received this email from Clive:


Thank you for all your work on the website.

The rate of Php100 per hour and 3 day turnaround is fine for future work.

Given that you are going to be free from mid Nov for a few weeks, IF you are interested, there are two things that EQ needs doing that you may wish to work on:

1.We need to somehow make our contacts available to each other and get to having an EQ prospect/contact database rather than lots of individual ones on our laptops (we all use Office 2003 Professional so I think this may be reasonably easy)
2.We wish to develop a web accessible lead management tool for tracking invitations to seminars, attendance at seminars, follow up activity, referrals etc. This to be used for several countries and several clients so with several ring fenced pools of data
3.As an aside, we may be interested in extending 2 above to be a general lead and activity management system for financial services sales people

If you are looking for work rather than a break during Nov/Dec, it might be worth you meeting with Greg and I. If so, any chance before Friday evening this week?



yey!!! i'll be working at home woohoo!

System Time: 1:53 PM
grabe, uber-weird.. Kate and I were walking towards Powerbook (greenbelt) and she was talking about the book, Five People You meet in Heaven, when i felt i was suddenly out of breath and kinikilabutan..i just thought that it was something bout the book why i was feeling that way when Kate said "grabe naman! sobrang kinilabutan ako dun uh!" ayun, scary. i dunno what happened.. did we disturb some spirit hanging out there? if so, dapat tumabi-tabi siya kasi daanan yon noh! lol! hay ewan, siguro naempacho lang kami ni kate hehe

ANYWAY, i've always that there's a Young Adult section in every bookstore but i don't really go there anymore since Young Adult reminds me of Sweet Dreams and Sweet Valley High.. so when Kate saw a Gossip Girl book displayed just at the entrance of the store so i went to look where it was properly displayed.. it wasn't in the Fiction section so i asked at the Customer Service and they said it was in the Young Adult section.. i was a bit appalled 'cause i've always thought that i was wayy past that but wowww.. all the books that i've searched at Amazon were there! Sisterhood of Travelling Pants, Meg Cabot books, "Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson " and like 6 Gossip Girl books lol! it's so cool! so i bought the first Gossip Girl book and if i like it, i'll buy the rest of the series..... Young Adult.. who would've thought..(plus Young Adult books are wayy cheaper!)

System Time: 2:30 PM
gosh, Mandarin Oriental Cigar Bar daw magkikita sabi ni Clive..ndi pa ako nakakapasok dun. hmm. sana pwede kong isama si Raymond.. para pag naligaw ako, 2 kami! hehe. post ko na toh.. haba na eh.. bye all!

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

...amazony shopping

... just got off the phone with pangs.. ily! anyway, i'm about to disconnect, i just wanted to thank the person who commented in my blog.. thanks for visiting my blog! actually, i have Can You Keep a Secret already by Sophie Kinsella.. it's a good read, a totally different heroine but still as funny as Rebecca Bloomwood.

..i'm pretty excited too 'cause since Ate Ging's in US, she can buy online now without the international shipping costs.. woohoo! i chose the Gossip Girl series for her to buy for me.. they're not available at Powerbooks ( or at least, i think so) so i'm reeeaallyyy excited that Ate can take them home with her.

good night all! sleep na ko!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004


System Time: 6:48 PM
ahuhuhuh. have so MUCH stuff to do. Ma'am Marivic already asked me to extend at least a week before i resign.. huhuh. ayaw ko. at least pangs is on my side, he's the unlucky one i'll be turning LIPS over to.. sorry pangs, olats ako magprogram. iloveyou! sana love mo parin ako hehe..

i'll be going home around 7pm, ei, full workload or not, 12 hours is TOO much time spent at the office.. i can't neglect my TV life! lol! i'm just so grateful that pangs is ever so supportive of me and ignores my mood swings.. i just hope i can cram everything in the next couple of days so i could at least give him an error-less ( take note: less, not free lol) program..

well.. i'll miss this. hope i'll still be able to blog even at home. (it's hard for me to sit and write at home, dunno why, probably 'cause i've got better things to do like watch TV or sleep, lol)
bye guys! wish me luck!

Saturday, October 23, 2004


syempre pinatawad ko si pangs. di ko kaya siyang tiisin eh. iloveyoumypangs *mwahh*


i'm such a crybaby. i hate it but i can't help myself.. it's like the more i try to hold back the tears, the more they pour down like some freakin damn just burst..

i just arrived at our house last night when the doorbell rang.. my dad said "oh, sino yon!?".. of course i knew who that was already.. it's raymond.. so i went outside..

i can't look at him without remembering every single detail of what has happened just that night.. i remember his condenscending tone of his voice, the irritated look on his face, his hurtful words.. he said "ang OA mo!" yep, perhaps i am.. but it doesn't give him the right to talk to me that way.. he came to see me to apologize and to ask for a second chance.. i couldn't say anything to him.. because honestly, i was just plain scared.. i don't want to be treated that way again. ever. he promised that it'll never happen again.. i want to believe him.. but i just know, that it will..

now i understand the song "i love the way you love me".. loving someone just isn't enough.. you have to love someone the right way.. not the overbearing, hot-tempered kind of way.. all i could think of on our way home was his temper and how i felt like an selfish brat who couldn't get her way..i guess i'm just not used to arguing all the time..and yun lagi akong kinokontra.. dati wish ko na sana, kontrahin naman ako ni dex paminsan-minsan.. now i got my wish, i now realize that i didn't understand what i was asking for.. hindi talaga ako pwedeng sabayan pag nainis na ako.. yun kasi ginawa nya.. inis na ako tas sinabihan pa akong OA, malabo.. ewan.. bakit daw ako pa nagagalit.. kaya it's hard for me to forgive.. kasi nung nakita nyang naiyak ako, dapat dun pa lang nagsorry na siya.. eh hindi.. siguro iniisip nya nun "ahh langya umiyak pa, OA talaga".. di lang talaga akong sanay na pinagsasalitaan ng ganon.. i wanted to scream at him and say "wala kang karapatang saktan ako ng ganito"..

nung asa bahay na siya.. sinabi ko.."pareho tayo ng ugali sa mga dapat na hindi tayo pareho at magkaiba tayo ng ugali sa mga dapat na hindi tayo magkaiba".. malabo ba.. but it makes perfect sense to me.. pareho kaming brat.. parehong sanay na nakukuha ang gusto nya.. pareho kaming hindi nagpapatalo..

alam ko namang mahal nya ako. i was just thinking na kung hindi ba kami, gagawin nya ba saken yon? syempre hindi.. magiging polite ka and just firmly say na "hindi po pwede eh, meh gagawin pa kasi ako".. sometimes strangers have the best relationships.. they're polite, unassuming, and have no expectations that cannot be met with each other..

i don't know what the point of this blog now.. what's on my mind is one big mess.. i know i'll probably forgive him, 'cause i'm pathetically in love with him.. but yesterday after i talked to raymond.. my father saw me and said "tagilid ka na naman dyan. hindi maipinta ang mukha mo" then i ignored him and went to get some food at the kitchen.. i saw my sister, Ate chary playing some game at her PC.. and i thought.. i've never seen ate chary cry because of a boy..maybe she truly is happy.. and there and then, i envied her so much.

it SUCKS to get hurt.

Friday, October 22, 2004

...2nd to the last friday

System Time: 5:14 PM
TGIF! but i'm still going to work tomorrow 'cause i need to shorten my To Do List as much as i can.. (i still have a TON)..just thinking about it gives me a headache.. ano pa yung actual na paggawa sa kanila.. then parang malabong makuha si Koji as my replacement.. they changed their mind (again) and now want a vb programmer who knows COBOL as well..gaaaaah. hanglabu.

ate ging created a blog so my mom could visit it and see how she's doing there.. at least meh tinitingnan na akong ibang blog.. (wala na si chona eh huhuhuh chona RIP,lol)

pangs and i ate at Teriyaki Boy and of course, i remembered Irvie 'cause she worked at some Teriyaki Boy branch some time ago.. oi Irvs, musta ka na bru? All I know is she's currently working at Yellow Cab.. idol ko yun, si irvi.. she finally discovered what she wants to do.. she wants to cook! or at least be in the food! yan ang cumlaude ko pang klasmeyt sa ISM at hindi na nagprogram.. not that she's not any good at programming, far from it, magaling siya tapos masipag pa (as in! i can't even instill some of my laziness on her when we were working at Infostructure) anyway, back to Teriyaki Boy.. ayushh, solb na solb.. tas 500 bucks lng ang total bill namin.. we had some sort of fried seafood/scallop, yakitori, kani salad and tekka maki.. tas service was great (sila pa nagtatanong kung gusto mo magrefill ng drinks unlike sa iba na mamamatay ka na sa uhaw ayaw ka paring bigyan!) AND walang service charge! kewl! sale nga rin yung cosmetics sa landmark.. i had to restrain myself from buying anything.. though sale din sa body shop..baka bumili talaga ako ng body mist (pag 300 bucks lng bwahahha).. ndi na nga ako tipid mode eh kasi gusto kong mag eat out lagi.. (ndi ko tuloy nakakain baon ko huhuh yari ako keh dadi) i just want to absorb all the great restaws in makati before i finally seclude myself sa bundok ng antipolo where the nearest mall is sucky sta. lucia..

System Time: 5:58 PM
i'll go home after a couple of minutes.. (para sakto sa log in ko kanina) ko na toh.. bye all! have a good weekend!

Thursday, October 21, 2004

...belated happy birthday erlyn!

okayy, okay, so it's late and that annoys you BUT as my friend you do know i'm very bad with dates, right? hehe. love you erlyn! plus i can't read your blog.. every time i access it, Wingate blocks it and display this:

PureSight for WinGate: Access denied

PureSight for WinGate has determined that the requested URL ( is at least 92 % likely to contain prohibited content.

The content has been blocked because it is of a sexual nature.

ehehe. BADTRIP! tungak yung wingate. anyway, hope your day was great! INGATS!! >:D< Di na kita nakikita sa enterprise huhuhu.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 filled day

System Time: 9:12 AM
gud mawnin! i almost didn't go to work today 'cause i was feeling pretty lazy with Jul's site nagging at the back of my mind but pangs called me in this sweet, sweet urging voice na "wake up na pangs.. wake up ka naaaa" hehe. so yun. i'm here in the office, writing my blog, reading gilmore girls. turns out that it's Sir Tony's (the big boss in IT) birthday today and we're lunching out. woohoo! i love lunch outs.. free good, great restaurants, who doesn't love them? (/me crosses fingers.. hope they won't talk about "US" lol)

called Ma'am Queenie this morning and i told her that I would start the turnover to Koji tomorrow.. she asked me, "ano ba project mo?" so i said i make websites.. then she asked me my rate and what scripting language i use... then she asked me "okay, kelan ka pwede?" haha.. i told her i need the november off and she could start giving me clients on december.. so ayun.. ohdibuh, asteeeg hehe.

i feel better with my decision already. anyway, i'll be doing what i've dreamt of doing.. working at home! also got offered a job by Jul.. they've always asked me to work for them while i was still at Radix, but since i had a bond with Radix back then, i couldn't leave and work for him..i'm still not sure what to do, but for now, i'll just try and get about 3-4 new clients first and keep my options open..

System Time: 11:10 AM
/me kanta all byyy myselff!! i dunno where the IT people are.. actually, i do know, but i'm too lazy to say where.. :p basta, i'm glad they're not here 'cause i can continue reading Gilmore girls.. i'm on episode 13.. so brb!

System Time: 4:13 PM
we went to eat at Market!Market! (new mall at the Fort).. okey lang, nothing new.. halaan, nilabos na hipon, inihaw na panga..parang sa bahay lang..pero syempre, free parin so happy parin! plus i found my fave bacolod snack! BANYAdas! it's like broas but better.. yumyum..kain lng ako merengue, bumili rin si raymond eh..pangtangal antuk..

System Time:6:25 PM
uwi na ko!!! babay!

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

...bum na ko!

System Time: 8:05 AM
10 Things that I'll miss in Prumerica
1. The Enterprise Building (huhuhuhu)
2. my breakfast of Bagel with Cream Cheese from Country Style
3. smoking
4. the regular paycheck (huhuhuhu)
5. DSL connection
6. having my own local # (lol)
7. Suzette
8. did i mention the regular paycheck?
9. seeing ex-officemates, classmates, friends in this building
10. seeing Raymond everyday

HUHUHU. just called my Dad,..decided to just break the news to him through the phone instead of saying it face to face (i'm a coward, okay, i admit it!) was something like this

me: Daddy
dad: hello? hellooo?
me: Da-ddy!!!
dad: oh! ano?
me: hanggang october na lng ako dito
dad: bakit ano nangyari
me: ayaw ko na, ayoko na dito
dad: bakit ano, sa kumpanya? sa trabaho?
me: pareho! ayoko na pareho
dad: ahh okay, so pano, uwi ka na?
me: oo, sa november.. bahay na ko!
dad: bakit ano ba ulit nangyari?
me: eh kinausap ko na si Mam Queenie tas sabi nya basta makakuha ako ng kapalit, okay na.
dad: ahh, meh kapalit. okay sige.
me: *pauses* ang papalit si Koji, tas mag tuturnover kami hanggang the rest of october.. bsta sabi ng Radix okay na
dad: teka, sino ba toh? ging?
me: WAAH SI CHE-CHE toh!
dad: ay, bastos ka.. anong ayaw mo na!
me: hehe. kaya pala akala ko bakit ang dali lang.
dad: eh kala ko kaw si ging eh. anong ayaw mo na? hindi ka na magtatrabaho?
me: oo
dad: bastos.. bakit? dati nung asa Jaka ka gusto mong maging programmer, ngayon ayaw mo na!
me: eh ayaw ko naaa.
dad: wala kang makukuhang suporta saken kasi wala akong pera
me: eh meh mga raket naman ako
dad: bahala ka! sige, babasa pa ko dyaryo.
me: okay. babay.

waahahaha. huhuhuh. naloloka na koh.

*sighs* actually, kabado talaga ako. ano ba tong ginawa ko! but i do have a plan.. i'll be able to accept the sites from mom's group, Remai (rizal exporters manufacturers association inc) and the software programming from Clive (from the EQ group) and while doing that, i'll just apply for a job that i REALLY want.. although i don't really know what i REALLY want to do yet.. okay. so i fucked up! but gaaah. i'm just not an office person! huhuh. at least nalilito ako habang bata pa.. (bata pa nga ba ako! waah!!!) hay. ewan. lito talaga ako.

10 Things that i'll be able to do when i'm not working full time
1. be able to make websites (and be paid for it!)
2. sleep until lunch time
3. have DVD marathons
4. go to Paenaan with my dad
5. practice my driving, get a license
6. tag-along my parent's errands ( i loove doing that, hehe)
7. meditate on life (hehe)
8. watch Eat Bulaga (lol!)
9. make my OWN site
10. work on my chat-novel (yeah, remember this?!)

see. it's a life i've been wanting to have. there's just one glitch. i don't have any money! waahahaha.

so this is a plea to all my friends.. if there's anyone you know who wants to have a site created.. call me okay!! i have 2 portfolios, the EQ Group and the CD Handicrafts site.. hehe.. help!!

System Time: 12:39 PM
wow, thanks Ria (i think)
here's her text:
"cge, il col desk mo na ikaw..btw, nakaka-inspire ka ge! hehe"

i talked to her awhile ago and she said she wasn't being sarcastic, hehe..anyway, thankssss >:D< ! i need all the support i could get..

waah miss ko na si pangs kow. huhuhuh. =( ang tagal ng tulog ko grabe, more than an hour.. kumain kasi ako mga 11am.. tas natulog ako mga 11:30.. ngayon, ngayon lng ako nagising hehehe.. tutulog pa nga ako dapat eh ginising ako ni ate pretz, buwsit. maninikil lang naman, bibili daw sila ng Suman sa Latik (or something like that) .. just remembered another good effect of my resignation.. i'll be able to stop smoking! bwahah! i totally don't smoke at home ( i don't even THINK about smoking when i'm home) now, that's good news..

System Time: 1:59 PM
i'm eating some Aling sumting's Suman Latik that Ate pretz bought at Landmark.. and it's sooooo good. i mean, i don't even like suman (you would too, if you live in Antipolo).. but this suman, it's so soft, and sooo tsarappp wahaha. i remember us serving this on the employee gathering but i totally ignored it 'cause i was sooo full already, i even remember Mario urging me to taste it but i looked at it and just said "no thanks".. i mean, how good could a suman get.. now i'm eating my words!!! i'm eating it while reading gilmore girls so i'm feeling pretty happy now.. (nevermind that Sir Bambam's waiting for at least 5 reports and Ms. Marivic is just behind me) bakit buh.. i'm eating suman from heaven! lol! BRb!

System Time: 3:37 PM
arrghh.. tsaket ng tsan ko.. yung suman ata! buwsit! i've just finished modifying some of the reports for FIS.. gawd, i have soo much stuff to do! didn't realize that quitting could be so tasking.. *sighs*

System Time: 3:46 PM
sir Bambam just gave me an inch-thick set of reports.. huhuhuhu. saklap.

System Time: 5:29 PM
isa na lng natitira. isang matinding error na ndi kaya ng powers ko. hay. sarili kong error, di ko kayang i-ayos. pak it!

System Time: 5:50 PM
ohmahgod.. i think i'm having a toothache.. waah, i am, i am having a toothache!! waah tsaket! i like forgot how awful this feels.. waah, what's wrong with my tooth! am i not brushing all the time? not flossing? HUHHUU. tsaket. hmm.. nawawala.. ano buh yun.. bakit wala na.. baka yung jaw ko lang.. hmmm.. weird.. sana umuwi na si Ma'am M para makauwi na rin ako, before i imagine other illnesses.. i'm gonna post this blog now.. loveyou pangs! missyou!

Monday, October 18, 2004

...what have i done!! lol!!!

System Time: 7:18 AM
mondayyy na naman.. i'm gonna have a busy week (probably go OT everyday) 'cause i have a lot to catch up.. i'm supposed to be starting the Database conversion this week, but i still haven't started my Client Listing Module.. anyway, i had a greeat weekend 'cause i spent it with pangs again.. he went to my house and he finished my CD Handicrafts site hehe.. i felt kinda guilty 'cause he did most of the work but he said i shouldn't mention it 'cause he really wants to help me get this project done with but still, i am EXTREMELY grateful that i have a super galing and sweet boyfriend. *mwah* you can see it here, the inquiry stuff are fully functioning, Jul receives an email for every person who inquired for their products..i'm soooo happy.. actually, it still needs some finishing touches but otherwise, it's great! *hugs pangs*

System Time: 8:25 AM
think something's wrong with the network.. can't even print my DTR.. gawwd i was absent for 2 whole days just this cut-off.. nyerks..

hindi ako makaprint! >_<

at wala na si chona! this day sucks! LOL! syempre apektado ako keh chona lol.. waah ate cha, kaw na lng, kunwari DH ka HAHAHA! jk jk >:D<

System Time: 8:49 AM
waah moooove geri! i'm not working gaaah. i'm staring at my monitor as usual, as if my program's gonna run by itself.. *sighs* hayyy ang lamig puh.. gusto kong ma-hug si pangs.. huhuhuhu

last friday i met up with CJ (as in CjManalo, my ex) and we had lunch together.. i was with Raymond, of course and it was great seeing him again after all these years.. think i saw him like 2 years ago.. he had a meeting somewhere here in makati and he texted me if we could meet for lunch.. i said yes without really thinking...when i told raymond, he was kind of.. can't really describe it, just that he became quiet and all first, i couldn't understand why he was acting that way but now i know he was just thinking that it was strange for me to meet my ex for no apparent reason..he did realize, afterwards, that CJ is JUST a friend, and he has nothing to worry about (i'm yours!!) anyway, what's new with CJ is that he's currently working on Ambergris but he'll probably take the job he'd been recently offered here in Makati.. it's a Japanese-owned company so they'll be taught basic Nihonggo and be sent to Japan for more training! waah kainggit! lol! sabi nga ni CJ, naalala nya ko kasi nga, gustong gusto kong makarating sa Japan (kakapanood ko ng "Oh Tokyo!" ehehe) tapos tanong pa nya "ano, nakuha mo na yung dream car mo?" syempre sabi ko, hindi pa! tas sabi nya "nagmura na nga yung Ford Explorer eh, 1.3 na lng" bwhaha as if. but yung point dun eh, alam nya tlga yung mga dreams ko and it's always nice to have friends who look out for your dreams..

System Time: 11:08 AM
gawwd, am actually thinking of leaving Prumerica at the end of this month.. talk about indecisive.. it's just that.. ayaw ko na magprogram eh.. takte, 1 taon na ko dito! waah. i am definitely a 1-year-itch kind of person..ayaw ko naaa. tinext ko na nga yung Project Manager ko dito sa Pramerica (prA na pala, name change), tinanong ko na kung pwede bang hanggang october na lng ako..

System Time:1:11 PM
seryoso ako dun sa hanggang end of october na lng.. papagod na ko! ayaw ko na ng 8-5 na job.. gusto ko sa bahay na lng ako tumanggap ng project, tutal, freelance na rin naman ako ngayon, itodo ko na.. dun na lng ako sa bahay, tipid pa sa pamasahe at sa fud!

System Time: 1:42 PM
ano buh yan, ndi nagrereply saken si Sir Jojo tas si Ma'am Q, ndi ko mahagilap (either asa CR, or ala sa desk..arrggh) .. dapat macontact ko na sila habang ndi pa nagbabago isip ko..

System Time: 1:58 PM
nagtext na si Sir Jojo:
"Geri, bka pwede tapusin nlng ntin ang dec. para makapaghanda rn c sir joel"

waah. ayaw ko. -_-

kaya nga hanggang october lang pinirmahan ko eh! :(

System Time: 5:37 PM
okay, it's final. i'm gonna be a bum at the end of october. YEY!!!! Koji's gonna replace me here in Pramerica.. already told Ma'am Q, Ms. Marivic and Sir joel.. it was relatively easy, actually (perhaps they were a bit glad that i'm leaving, harharhar)

gooosh, what a day. hehe. one minute i'm a taxpayer, next second, i'm not! hihihi.

i'm not feeling that happy actually, siguro dhel ndi pa nagsisink-in yung ginawa ko! bwahaha. i'll have time to make my own site AND finally accept the site for the different members of philexport. i'll be able to sleep 'til 10 am and watch DVD all day! hihihi. (it's starting to sink what have i done!!!! bwahahaha!

yari ako sa tatay ko. wahaha!

System Time: 5:45 PM
this week na papasok si Koji dito para makapagturn-over ako eh.. WHAT HAVE I DONE! lol! okey lng tohhh.. iisipin ko na lng na makakaapply parin ako pag ayaw ko na maging bum .. hehe.. bye all! wish me luck!!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2004


System Time: 2:21 PM
Badz is backk!! wehehe my officemate at Radix, Jhoneil, is back (after going MIA for almost a year!) and i'm going to Radix later to see him.. takte, namiss ko siya uh! he was my SA sa RMS project and he changed almost everything in my codes bwahaha! but still, he was our drinking and yosi buddy (me, vic and my 4 batchmates)..siya ang nagsulat ng testimonial saken sa friendster na kaya ko daw sumubo ng isang buong saging.. bwahahah olats! sa kanya rin kami nagpapabisaya lessons (me and chipper) nung bisaya pa ang mga kashota-an namin, lol.. syempre taken na siya, nag-asawa bago pumuntang states for the RMS project, which proves na talagang all good men are either taken, gay or dead! (kaya nga inagaw ko pa si pangs eh bwihihihi)

System Time: 2:31 PM
tumutunog ang tsan ko! bwahaha kahiya, naririnig kaya ni Sir Joel? ang lakas eh, lol!

System Time: 2:39 PM
yey! punta rin daw si Chipot maya sa radix.. sana pumasok si Koj para makita ko rin siya.. si Froi ata nasa province eh..

System Time: 4:38 PM
hehe.. kikOy daw pag lalake, lol..

System Time: 5:28 PM
alish na ko! punta pa ko Radix.. babay!

Monday, October 11, 2004


System Time: 9:01 PM
i'm so sleepy.. and so nauseous.. akkk. i'll just do the survey ate cha did on her blog...

System Time: 9:16 AM
OOOKay, so i can't copy ate cha's blog anymore.. waaah why why oh why did you do that ate chaaaa huhuhuh.. i can only read your blog in an inconspicuous notepad.. huhu. how sad.. and how sad that i can't copy it.. ibalik, ibalik!! lol!! please, have pity on a bored fellow like me whose morning ritual is to copy your blog and paste it in a notepad and place it over my Properties form in VB6!

/me CR strike.. hindi ako magc-cr hangga't hindi mo binabalik ang copy!! lol! loveyou ate cha! >:D<

System Time: 9:28 AM
ha! pahirapan daw ba ako ni ate cha..'s the survey..

10. freebies (anything, as long as it's free!)
9. internet
8. chick-lit books
7. lying in bed watching DVDs
6. seeing old friends
5. making new friends
4. being home alone
3. discovering money on your jacket/pants that you forgot about
2. road trips
1. being loved!

9. hanging out at the soccer field after class
8. my classmates
7. school clubs
6. field trips
5. practicing for dance numbers (lol)
4. cancelled exams
3. trying new things
2. retreats/recollections
1. finishing it! hehe

8. The Valkyries
7. Angels And Demons
8. Digital Fortress
6. Harry Potter
4. Second Helpings
3. Sloppy Firsts
2. Shopaholic
1. The Alchemist
(actually, 18 books ata sinabi ko hehe!)

7. keys
6. umbrella
5. kikay kit
4. wallet
3. phone
2. company ID
1. trash

6. You Make me Wanna by Usher
5. If i Was the One by Ruff Endz
4. Bakit Ngayon Ka Lang
(OHdibuh, kanta ng confused!!)
3. Complicated by Avril
2. What If by BabyFace
1. Sana ay Ikaw na Nga (LOL!)

5. watching a good movie
4. eating tostitos and salsa
3. reading other people's blogs
2. listening to my friends' stories
1. looking at my pangs

4. my family - the whole clan
3. HS, ISM, pre-com kada
2. radix officemates
1. raymond

3. momi
2. my mom
1. my dad
(arrrghh i don't pray that much, tsk tsk)

2. a 1000 sq-meter house with the most beautiful view
1. a Loft in the City

1. that nothing's for sure! lol!

System Time: 10:36 AM
ohmigod am still sleepy.. Ma'am M's not yet here, but i'm sure she's just late.. heard from Sir Joel that they went to work last Saturday.. uh-oh.. which means she knows i didn't.. tsk, tsk.. bad.. i feel a bit sick.. today is Day 1.. actually, it's Day 3 already but i'm not counting the weekends.. what exactly am i counting? my official smoke-free days..i'll just think that it's always a saturday so i won't feel the urge to smoke.. i'm on the Pill and it says so in the pamphlet that smokers have a higher risk of having a stroke if they're on the Pill, that's why i'm quitting.. even though i wanna die young, i don't want to die THIS young!

System Time: 10:44 AM
still haven't done a single work-related thing.. i'm so yari.. i blame my sleepiness and overall suckiness of Monday mornings.. and i can't believe i forgot IT,.. IT!! gaaaah. i bought it yesterday and i forgot it grrr. i even remembered it while i was taking a shower but when i got in the car, i only remembered about it when we were already in Masinag, uhuhuhhu OLATS!!

System Time: 10:55 AM
Ma'am M's already here.. sucks.. at least i didn't get my hopes up.. anyway, saw some of Jasmine Trias' guestings in ABS..she's here in the country (she already endorses Mcdo, Smart and HerBench) to do a ASAP she sang Mcdo Song and gosh.. she really CAN'T sing that well.. kinakabos buh.. and compared to our singers here, well, uhmm,,.. she's kinda pathetic.. even contestants in our Singing contests are better than her..baka manliit siya pag nagduet sila ni Kyla, hehe..

System Time: 1:17 PM
currently listening to Maroon 5.. (i know, i know, Maroon 5 again.. but they're like my band of the year)

i don't mind spending everyday.. out in your corner in the pouring rain.. look for the girl with the broken smile.. ask her if she wants to stay awhile and she wiiiiiiill be loveeddddd

System 1:30 PM
arrgh. so giving up smoking is harder than i thought. hmm. think the lack of nicotine in my body is making me more sleepier.. but then again, i'm always sleepy...

System Time: 1:39 PM
waaah. beyoooond sleepy. -_-.

System Time: 1:55 PM
ohmy.. i can't breathe.. swear.. para akong naempacho na nadaganan na ewan.. /me hinga ng malalim.. gaah tsaket.. wehehe ano nangyayari saken LOL!

System Time: 2:09 PM
i didn't even eat that much.. tinireat ako ni raymond kanina nung lunch.. eh hindi pa ko ganun kagutom so di nga namin maubos eh..

System Time: 2:22 PM
can't keep my eyes open! waaah! ano buh toohhh. daig ko pa ang buntis uh, siyet! must be the sex in the city marathon i did last night.. i kinda finished the whole sixth season in one seating..buti pa si Mario, naghalfday, kainggit!

System Time: 2:52 PM
*sighs* i love that song. =) (Everything by Lifehouse) it's like the sweetest love song for me. too bad other people don't appreciate it..kawawang kanta.. dinidiscriminate. hmpft.

System Time: 5:02 PM
accompanied ate pretz to Sarabia, to get her doctor's prescription (is that what you call them? hmm) anyway, we had a looong talk (actually, she did most of the talking) but before that long talk, she asked me a simple question "si raymond.. ano, kayo na ba?"
so i answered, "yep".. and that was that...

System Time: 5:41 PM
gusto ko na umuwi!! miss my pangs i loveyouuu! *mwaH*

Friday, October 08, 2004


System Time: 8:09 AM
i'm in suuuper tipid mode so i'd have to content myself with just browsing thru the net , looking at make-up stuff...
found this great site, which features 150 Best Beauty Products .. so fun to window shop! (in this case, my window's my monitor, hehe) haay, too bad i'm in debt. LOL!

i'll have a movie-less weekend again, but i'm still happy that it's friday, 'cause i'll be able to make the sites (so that i'll be able to buy the Bobby Brown Foundation Stick, LOL!), i have the Eq Group and CD Handicrafts site to FINISH. as in finish. waaah! i'm readying myself 'cause i'll probably be staying up late tonight.. here in the office, i've been feeling pretty productive lately, unlike the past few weeks where i'd stare at my monitor for almost the whole day.. that's also the reason why i've just been posting pics and not writing as much..

System Time: 8:32 AM
nyyyyayy. text na si Jul, (Cd Handicrafts) regarding updates on the site.. ano namang sabihin ko.."wala, walang update!" bwahaha.. kelangang maka-uwi na waaah. buti na lang mabait siya at hindi ako kinukulit mashado..

System Time: 9:31 AM
ka-text ko si Roni, my friend who was recently married..she and her husband are now living in an apartment near her in laws..i asked about her wedding gifts and she said she received 6 rice cookers! lol! that must be a wedding-gift-record breaker..hehe..anyway, hope our kada could visit their apartment soon...

System Time: 10:48 AM
sir Loret sent this to our email..
"For those did not enroll yet you have to sign-in now today is the last days." (he wrote it in big bold letters) actually, the first line said "Here are the list of Participant's"... wahaaha meh apostrophe pa talaga eh..

System Time: 10:50 AM
meh pahabol pa pla sa email:
Thanks you,

ehehe. mala-Chona buh? LOL!

System Time:1o:51 AM
grabe, lakas na ng loob nilang mang-asar uh.. dati, pahapyaw-hapyaw lang eh, ngayon todo bigay na.. sir L asked me what my full name was so i said
me: "Ann Gretchen po, walang E yung Ann"
sir L: "ano surname mo?"
me: "Espinosa po"
sir L: "kala ko Arenas" (that's Raymond's surname)

abah! mah gas. tas si Sir Joel, hirit pa
Sir j: "oi, narinig ko yun uh, huli na ata ako sa balita"
sir L: "eh nagtatanong lang naman kasi ako, baka nag iba na ng apelido"
sir j: "si jojo ba, updated ba dyan.. siya ang tatanungin ko"
me: "mas huli po ata sa balita si sir jojo, ehehhe"
sir j: "ganon ba, ako na lang ang magkukwento"
sir j: "marivic, huli ka rin ba sa balita?"

bwahaha. tas syempre inalok ko sila ng chocolate..

sir j: "o, baka bigay sayu toh, uh"
me: "hindi poooo, binili ko yan"
sir l: "ang sweet naman, asan ang roses?"
me: *tawa lang*
sir l: "baka magalit samen uh, sabihin, binibigyan ka tas pinapamigay mo lang..kilala ko pa naman yun"
sir j: "onga, tumatawag pa nga yun dito, ako pa nakakasagot"
sir j ulit: "baka nagcelebrate na ng month anniversary (mansari, sir) yan, hindi tayo iniimbita"
sir l: "syempre, iistorbo ka naman dun"
sir j: "marivic! ano, kaw ba naimbitahan sa month anniversary?"
mam m: "mas tsismosa pa kayo kaysa saken!"
sir j: "ndi tsismis yun, fact yun.. F-A-C-T"

WAAAAHAHAAH. todo na toh.

System Time: 11:16 AM
miss ko na tuloy si raymond. huhuhuh. 1 oras ko na siyang hindi nakikita! LOL! mnk!

/me currently listening to Lifehouse - Breathing

'cause i am hanging on every word you say and even if you don't want to speak tonight, that's all right with me, 'cause i want nothing more than sit outside heaven's door and listen to your breathing.. it's where i want to be

System Time: 1:09 PM
bought the latest Meg mag (i don't buy mags a lot, it's my sister who does, but she usually just buys Preview & Cosmo & other chismis mags).. has their first ever beauty awards.. liked the products they featured 'cause they have more affordable stuff.. (unlike Preview where there definition of cheap is 600 bucks!) grrr. so frustrated that i'm in tipid mode. they even featured some of the stuff i use! like my prestige make-up blush, tea tree oil concealer from bodyshop, st.ives apricot scrub and fasio stuff. =) they showed Nivea Lipbalms too but personally, i like Blistex better (Lip Tone) 'cause it never dries my lips and has this nude rosey tone that acts as your everyday lipstick..

System Time: 1:23 PM
dex called again. actually, he doesn't speak. everyday since he got back, he calls around this time..and after i say "IT Hello" he hangs up the phone. *sighs* kanina nung nagring nag "hello" na lang ako kasi alam ko bababaan din naman ako. nag-pause pa nga muna ako eh.. tas after a second i said "hello" tas ayun. binaba nga. of course i have no proof that it's him.. but dAAh. haay.

System Time: 1:51 PM
yeyyy! i found the best air freshener for my problematic work area.. orange peels! weee! sir jayson was eating an orange and now we have an instant deodorizer/freshener.. no more bulok-leather smelling area hihihi.. (at least for now!) /me nakakahinga na, lol

System Time: 2:01 PM
i'm listening to my all-time fave alternative tracks cd that i burned for raymond.. so i'm sort of feeling sentimental 'cause these tracks were popular when i was in college/right after graduation and i miss those days.. it also reminds me some not-so happy times.. and of PC.. i'm not even sure if he's a HE! lol! most of them were HIS favorites, and gave me some of his mp3s.. there's Caught in the Sun by Course of Nature (i just loooove this song), Here's to the Night by Eve 6, Bad Day by Fuel, and every single Vertical Horizon song. of course i'm sad that the last i've heard of him was his entry in my guestbook last, last year.. (i can't really remember) it just said "nice site gewi. Pidru".. he was even the first person to call me geWi.. after that, everyone in #ust was calling me geWi..he made me some kick-ass logos that i placed on my first ever site, (so the "nice site gewi" comment was big for me, coming from him, 'cause i made that site all by myself).. it was also the last time i cried because of a boy.. (and the last time i would be rejected by one! itaga mo yun sa bato!! lol) if i still talk about him, it's only because i had no closure.. he simply disappeared out of life.. i've learned to live with that, and i've certainly moved on.. he's still in my wish list, though.. only so i would know i wasn't imagining what i was feeling back then.. i really wish he'd drop a line or email me or leave me his email.. i used to write to an email address (i don't know if it's really his) EVERYday.. then it became every week.. then every month.. then i stopped.. it was pathetic. and i was so tired of thinking about him. i even stopped talking about him here 'cause i'd be left feeling melancholy after writing about him, plus i've lost that tiny, tiny hope that he still checks out my blog once in a while, and that he'll leave a comment or something for me.. 'cause of course, he never did. i guess it's easy to disappear in cyberspace..honestly, there are still times when i'll feel sad when i think of him, but lately, i haven't thought about him as much...and when i think about him, i don't feel that kind of sadness as before, just that i miss our chats..and i'm just wondering how his life has been.. i'd tell him about dex...and i'd tell him raymond, my pangs...i would bet he'd probably like raymond better for me..he wasn't too fond of dex especially when dex went MIA for almost a year =(.. i'd tell him that Eboy and i don't speak anymore and tell him all the unforgivable stuff Eboy did to our so-called friendship..i'd tell him i'm glad he rejected me 'cause he was right, it wouldn't have worked out..i'd tell him how i've changed because of him, became less idealistic and more realistic.. and i'd tell him how happy and lucky i am with raymond..and that i wish raymond would be my last love.. and i'd ask him if he already met his "tangible" love..

hmmm..i feel odd talking about him again, it's like i'm talking to a ghost..if he does exist, he probably doesn't even remember me anymore, much less think about me.. that thought doesn't sadden me any longer,.. it just affirms my belief that everything happens for a reason, 'cause if something different happened back then, it might not lead to this present time, to my present situation, to my pangs..and if THAT happened, THAT would definitely be something to regret..

love you raymond..*mwaaaah* DLM..

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

...happy birthday ulit ate cha!

as you can see, i've discovered the wonders of photo blogging harharhar.. i found this great, great site, and it allows me to post directly to my blog.. cool, eh? anyway, i have still LOADS of stuff to do.. my work, my sidelines (2 websites) and the last movie i've seen is...shiiit i can't remember! waaaaaaaaah. this is bad.. i've missed the Bourne Supremacy, Resident Evil.. waaah. saturdays are spent mooning over my PC and trying to update the sites.. haaay.. i'm supposed to be giving Ma'am M an executable file for LIPS and i'm pretty scared to give her one 'cause i won't be able to hide my bugs any longer wahahaha!

ate cha, i'm so sorrryy, i wasn't the one who texted you on your birthday! HUHUHU. i hope you had fun (and was fulfilled!) on your birthday and congrats for ending your quarter-life crisis.. (well, you know what i mean! ur 26! lol!) now you enter your mid-life crisis hahaha.. >:D< you're such a wonderful person and a great friend and all i wish for you is happiness.. (and a degree! go go ate cha!) and sana, sana, saaaana matuloy na uwi mo dito, ok? i love you! belated happy birthday!! >:D< >:D< >:D<

pic ulit!

Originally uploaded by geWi.
parang ambait ano? pero ang kulit nyan! as in meeeggga kulittt lol! kahapon napikon ako bwehehehe.. sorry pangsss tlga, eh kasi pinalibre ako kela ma'am pretz eh wala naman talaga akong pera! hmpffft. lol. sorry talaga, meh topak lang ako.. (and of course, money issues waaah) thank you at love mo parin ako khet pikon ako.. lol.. love you rin khet makulit ka!!! *mwah* miss na kita, uwi tayo ng maaga uh! >:D<

me and pangs

Originally uploaded by geWi.
we have our differences (okaay, that is the understatement of the year!) but i love him sooo much so he has no choice but to stick it out with me!


Monday, October 04, 2004 roommate roommate

this is landz..i found that he has suicidal tendencies, must be some pretty heavy teddy issues (lol!) anyway, he's okay now, he sleeps beside me, but he still doesn't know how to smile.. (matakot daw ako pag nakita kong nakangiti dibuh!) lol! ayun, wala lang.. just wanted for you guys to meet my roommate..



Sunday, October 03, 2004


ate chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! happy birthday! i love you so much and i'm sooo looking forward to meeting you!

ingats ka lagi /me kiss sa neckkkk *mwahhhhh* so happy!!!

i'm currently listening to Ben Jelen's Come on.. waaahh finally i'm downloading mp3s again.. also downloaded Damien Rice's Cannonball.. waaah.. it's bliss. hihihi. i love Ben Jelen... waahaha..

been pretty productive today... finished some of the new instructions by Clive (from EQ Group)...

*waah i love ben jelen! can't believe i can listen to Come On anytime i want!! bwahahaha ang babaw ko!*

anyway, it's been a looong and craaaazy weekend for me.. too crazy, in fact, for this blog!. yep, that's right... i keep this blog for one reason alone, for me to be able to remember and read about my escapades, boring days, happy days, crazy days, etc.. but what happened last thursday.. i don't think there's a need to journalize it. believe me, i won't be forgetting that anytime soon.


but still, i have my pangs.. and i'm sooo grateful that he's always by my side.. i love you raymond. >:D< ILYMP!

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

...lang wentang araw

System Time: 1:11 PM
arrggh i'm so sleepy. i just woke up from my 40 minute nap time..(it's only supposed to be 30 minutes but i didn't wake up..) it's also so freakingly cold *brrr*

/me listens to some dance music

ooohh babyy, music sounds better with youuuu

i forgot to add in my "miss list" the folder of DANCE music that seemingly evaporated from my harddisk.. huhuhu.. i had bomfunc mcs there, darude, disco music.. and it all just disappeared.. *sighs* but at least i found some mp3 and it contains some dance music that i listen to back when i was in college (chemical brothers, Maarja, Madison Avenue, etc)..

while i was in the shuttle, i heard the jingle of san miguel's "octoberfest" waaah.. lapit na pala.. october fest na!! bilis ng panahon.. and 1 year na pala ako naka-assign sa Prumerica.. /me kanta *parang kailan!* napag-usapan nga rin namin kahapon ni Suzette yun, isang araw lang kasi ang lamang ko sa kanya, na next week eh 1 year na kami dito.. patigasan daw kami, lol..

System Time: 1:30 PM
Ma'am M's not here (she's in Divisoria, buying some stuff for Prumerica's charity work on saturday), so's Sir Joel (have no idea where he is, probably just having a late lunch).. good news for least i could blog.. ei, last night Raymond and I ate dinner at SoulFood and they have great comes with guacamole, sour cream, salsa, corn, java rice, and other stuff i didn't recognize hehe.. i was able to fool Raymond into eating a jalapeno pepper HEHE..
"pickles yan! sige try mo" haha! katawa, sabay dinura nya hahaahahah.. love you pangsss jk laaang..

System Time: 1:39 PM
currently listening to Lenny Kravitz.. I belong to you..

I belong to you
I belong to you
And you, you
You belong to me too
You make my life complete
You make me feel so sweet


haay dapat makapuntang quiapo at mamirata ng cd.. hehe..

System Time: 3:58 PM
just met Miss Annie, Tita Cora's (my agent at sunlife) secretary.. Tita cora gave me some freebies! there's some kind of pencil holder and a shopping bag.. cool! i love free stuff! hehe! thanks, tita cora!

System Time: 5:02 PM
waah kate just emailed a price list of Maybelline and Loreal stuff that have discounts as high as 50%! i knoooow i'm in tipid mode but gaah i'm going to buy it anyway so why not buy it now when the price is lower, right? (NOD NAMAN DYAN!) hehe..
i ordered the Maybelline Express makeup (from 589 bucks to only 300!) and Loreal Ideal Balance (889 to 500)..good deal, right?

System Time: 5:22 PM
alis na ko.. it looks like its raining.. demmit.. bye all!

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

...ty pangs!

System Time: 8:29 AM
ALBUM wishlist (since i don't download anymore)
1. Ben Jelen - Give it all away
2. Prodigy (the new one)
3. Jamie Cullum - Twenty Something
4. You Got Served, OST
5. 13 Going to 30, OST
6. Twin Sisters, OST (lol!)
7. a good Praise Album (i'm serious!)

ei, i've got most types of genre there.. alternative, trance/techno, jazz, hip-hop, new wave, religious and..chinese pop! lol!

System Time: 8:49 AM
still too lazy to code..

System Time:10:12 AM
uyy nice mp3.. Take A look inside my heart.. i kinda miss senti songs.. ganda pa ng lyrics..

i'm crazy about you...craaazy bout you..

/me pigil ngiti

System Time: 2:29 PM
alang IT! asa meeting yey! pero wala parin akong magawa, hindi ako makadownload ng mp3 buwsit..pero in fairness, kakatuwa yung mga pinapakinggan ko uh..

System Time: 4:37 PM
wish ko lang makaalis ng 5 pm sa office.. hayy *wish ko laaaang*

post ko na toh..babay! ILYMP!

...lang wentang araw

System Time: 8:29 AM
ALBUM wishlist (since i don't download anymore)
1. Ben Jelen - Give it all away
2. Prodigy (the new one)
3. Jamie Cullum - Twenty Something
4. You Got Served, OST
5. 13 Going to 30, OST
6. Twin Sisters, OST (lol!)
7. a good Praise Album (i'm serious!)

ei, i've got most types of genre there.. alternative, trance/techno, jazz, hip-hop, new wave, religious and..chinese pop! lol!

System Time: 8:49 AM
still too lazy to code..

System Time:10:12 AM
uyy nice mp3.. Take A look inside my heart.. i kinda miss senti songs.. ganda pa ng lyrics..

i'm crazy about you...craaazy bout you..

/me pigil ngiti

System Time: 2:29 PM
alang IT! asa meeting yey! pero wala parin akong magawa, hindi ako makadownload ng mp3 buwsit..pero in fairness, kakatuwa yung mga pinapakinggan ko uh..

System Time: 4:37 PM
wish ko lang makaalis ng 5 pm sa office.. hayy *wish ko laaaang*

post ko na toh..babay! ILYMP!

...lang wentang araw

System Time: 8:29 AM
ALBUM wishlist (since i don't download anymore)
1. Ben Jelen - Give it all away
2. Prodigy (the new one)
3. Jamie Cullum - Twenty Something
4. You Got Served, OST
5. 13 Going to 30, OST
6. Twin Sisters, OST (lol!)
7. a good Praise Album (i'm serious!)

ei, i've got most types of genre there.. alternative, trance/techno, jazz, hip-hop, new wave, religious and..chinese pop! lol!

System Time: 8:49 AM
still too lazy to code..

System Time:10:12 AM
uyy nice mp3.. Take A look inside my heart.. i kinda miss senti songs.. ganda pa ng lyrics..

i'm crazy about you...craaazy bout you..

/me pigil ngiti

System Time: 2:29 PM
alang IT! asa meeting yey! pero wala parin akong magawa, hindi ako makadownload ng mp3 buwsit..pero in fairness, kakatuwa yung mga pinapakinggan ko uh..

System Time: 4:37 PM
wish ko lang makaalis ng 5 pm sa office.. hayy *wish ko laaaang*

post ko na toh..babay! ILYMP!

Monday, September 27, 2004

...manic monday

System Time: 9:52 AM

10 Things I miss the most:
1. my sister's free unlimited internet account
2. leaving my computer connected online so i could continue downloading mp3s
3. being seatmates with my HS classmate, crisel
4. my 11am-3pm schedule when i was in pre-com
5. sleepovers at Chie's house
6. going to caleruega with my ISM classmates
7. jamming in a studio
8. chatting 24/7
9. being debt-free (lol!)
10. my pangs. absent kasi olats!!! MYN!!!

System Time: 11:08 AM
maglulunch tuloy ako mag-isa. how sad. -_-

System Time: 11:41 AM
..meh magpapakain pala dito.. ang tagal, gutom na ko! MYNMP!

last Saturday was Roni's wedding, twas okay..had some good news! Ma'am uy, our Dept chairperson was one of the guests and she happily informed me that i can finally get my diploma and transcript of records! yeyyy! after 3 years! woohoo!

System Time: 12:43 PM
just had lunch. *busog and antok and still missing pangs* he went to our house yesterday and spent the whole saturday with him but i still miss him. =( ang daya, sabi mo kagabi, 12 hours na lang, kikita ulit tayo.. hmpft! hehe jk lang pangs.. pagaling ka /me kiss sa forehead tsaka sa -toot- lol!

nung saturday pala, pinakilala ko si raymond sa mga pinsan ko.. it's the first time i introduced someone to them..they were in Red Box in Gb3 so we went there after the wedding.. la namang comment mga pinsan ko, mashado silang nageenjoy sa videoke at hayok sa mic para magcomment, lol.. (salamat lang daw sa donut! lol)

waaah have sooo much stuff to do, here in work, plus the two websites i'm working on.. clive emailed me again (at least 5 times, i think), sending me the other files to be displayed on the site and other additional instructions (plus an error! grr).. then my deadline with Jul's site (CD Handicrafts) is on october 15..'ll be sleepless nights for me again..(at least i can pay my cc bills, lol)

System Time: 1:56 PM
nakanaman sa mp3.. i shuffled some of my mp3s with pangs'.. /me listening to Andy William's Can't Take my Eyes off you.. hehe. kakaantuk -_-

/me clicks the Next button. lol

yan, Incubus.. Make Yourself.. missyupangs *mwahh*

System Time: 2:16 PM
ei, have a new email add that i could actually check here in the office (it isn't blocked by the server).. it's email nyo ko uh! (geWi uh, not geri hehe)

System Time: 2:39 PM
/me sighs

i'm reading jen's letter to raymond.. his ex.. looks like she still doesn't know na kami na.. i'm having the most difficult time reading the email.. maybe 'cause magulo (arrgh. girls. ang gulo) and i have to keep pausing 'cause i feel sick and awful and guilty..and i just want to wring raymond's neck for letting me read this.. what the heck was he thinking? ndi ko maintindihan purpose nya..hirap basahin! i even had to remove my headset 'cause i needed to concentrate on my breathing.. pangatlong beses ko na tong mag pause..

/me hinga na malalim..continue na ko..

System Time: 2:47 PM
..fourth break.. ang haba eh.. *sighs* brb

System Time: 2:53 PM
okay tapos na. (sa wakas)

hmm..i can't exactly describe what i'm feeling right now.. one part of me is trying to understand what she is saying..

anong magbago? anong dapat ibago ni raymond? haaa? anong "your old ways?" ano yun diba? i don't know what she's talking about.. maybe it's too early to say, but so far.. he's perfect.. i love everything about him.. playboy ba? hmm. malay ko. hindi ko ramdam eh, so no comment ako dun. but then, you can really see na mahal nya parin si raymond.. and yun nga lang daw, magbago lang siya.. (that word again) arrgh ewan. baguhin ang ano? hay. but still, there's no way that you'll read that kind of email and not have doubts..that he's treating you like he has treated his past gfs.. that you're not special, just that you're his present gf, yun lang ang difference.. kasi yung mga sinulat ni jen, like mga tipong "ma-charm" lang daw siya and makes the most secure person insecure.. but you know what,.. i don't care. i'm not some highschool girl who falls in love for the first time and who hasn't realized that not all things have their happy endings..i know the risks and i'm willing to take them..i myself am not promising anything to him..i'm seriously in love with him but i'm still leaving something behind for's my cushion, my protection, and it took me YEARS to master the art of self-protection..right now, i'm just loving every minute that we spend together..i'm wishing that it'll last forever, but of course, as they say, life's one big mystery and they wouldn't call it that if we could predict what's going to happen to our future, right? i'm just going with the flow and keeping things uncomplicated..

he loves me.. and i love him.. that's that. that's not too difficult to understand, is it not?

/me wapaks pangs. tongks! pero love parin kita!

Wednesday, September 22, 2004


System Time: 9:11 AM
copied pangs' mp3s.. currently listening to I Alone by Live..

how many times have i mentioned in this blog's history that i'm currently listening to this's one of my fave songs of all time..

gaah.. i need to be productive today! everybody's working except me!

System Time: 9:19 AM
sir Tony saw the pack of cigarettes on my desk and he said
"umagang-umaga uh!"
me: "breakfast, sir eh"
sir t:"meh mentos pa! bakit, meh hinahalikan ka ba pagkatapos?"
me: *tawa muna* "hindi po, para ndi ko malasahan yung yosi"

LOL! ano ba yun!! napaisip tuloy ako hehehe.. nakita nya kaya kami? lol! arggh ewan, paranoid lang siguro talaga ako..

System Time: 2:21 PM
IT people are in a meeting.. i feel freeee yehey! lol!

/me kanta

And every time I close my eyes
I thank the lord that I’ve got you
And you’ve got me too
And every time I think of it
I pinch myself ’cause
I don’t believe it’s true
That someone like you
Loves me too

tamang tama diba? ayan, it's the first time i sang that song for someone! ILYMNKP!

System Time: 2:46 PM
ohmygod. i just received my latest credit card billing statement.. and it's harsh.. i'm not telling how much it is, but let me just say that i've created a personal record for the highest amount due in one statement ever! lol! my heart kinda stopped beating for about 5 seconds when i saw the "Amount due" box.. bwahahaha.. dapat rumaket, mah gas!.. i skimmed through the items and i can't believe i've spent so much in so little time.. (the killer was the clarins products, though.. as in MURDERED, BUTCHERED, etc, etc, lol!) *sighs* i better start leaving my cc at home. taenangyan.

System Time: 2:53 PM
can't believe i'm becoming a Rebecca! you know, Rebecca Bloomwood from Shopaholic.. hmm.. gosh, dami ko pa namang babayaran! well, there goes my savings! (as if meron! taenuuhh)

System Time: 2:55 PM
/me tago credit card statement sa pinakailalim ng bag.

kain na lang ako spageti. it's free and fattening. yey!

System Time: 3:02 PM
i texted my sister ate ging bout my billing statement:
me: you wouldn't believe my latest credit card statement...huhuhu
ate ging: im sure ul feel bettr wen u c mine

LOL! i'm suuure!

akk meh kahabol!

ate ging: But thn again i earn twice as much

waaah, okey na sana eh! now i feel depressed. /me mukmok sa tabi

i better start pay the my bills.. yey tapos na magprint yung pinapaprint ni Sir Phil! brb!

Tuesday, September 21, 2004


System Time: 5:12 PM
just read ate cha's blog.. ate chaaa 2005 uh! no backing out, bawal ang drawing! so what have you guys talked about (chekay).. is it a southeast asian tour? thailand, singapore, malaysia, hongkong? woohoo! i'm excited! super! i guess i better start saving up for it, right? how IS chekay? too bad she doesn't blog anymore, i miss her blogs soooo much.. i miss mel too :( i miss waiting for her at dunkin donuts in MRT cubao station, lol! (she's always late!) i miss seeing sistah's new hairdos, lol.. and i miss chatting with ate cha HUHUHU. everyone's just so freaking busy. (not to mention, on another continent! except for sistah! though i speak to ate cha more often than her, hehe!) anyway, paramdam naman guys.. and thanks for reading my blog.. >:D< >:D<

/me kandirit ala sistah!
/me kiss ate cha sa neck! (lol pwede parin!)
/me slapoks mel

gaaah, mel, the testimonial to dex, uh.. so kaka! lol! *mwah*

...what's wrong with being selfish?

System Time: 8:45 AM
i forgot my phone, demmit. and my jaw still hurts a lot..

System Time: 1:49 PM
sleepy.. and guilty.. that's what i'm feeling.. i feel guilty for hurting dex.. and now, jen.. and the worst part is.. raymond said that there's nothing that he doesn't like about jen.. at least dex and i HAD issues, even before raymond came in the picture.. dex and i, we're too different..he needs someone else, and I need someone else, it's bound to happen, it's just that i realized it first before he did.. but with jen and raymond.. *sighs* i just stole him right under her nose.. it just doesn't make break it off with someone when you don't find anything faulty in the relationship..hmm...and maybe i'm just trippin'..trying to reason out everything that has happened just to get rid of my guilt.. *sighs* it always sucks to be the bad guy..

and raymond.. i love him.. i don't want to feel guilty when i'm with him.. i just want to be plain happy.. but how can i be happy knowing i've ruined his perfectly good relationship with jen? haaay. buhay.

am i supposed to do something? why do i feel like i have to do something? i feel like i owe something to this world as replacement for the selfishness i've done..can't i just say to jen, "ei.. shit happens, life's a bitch..sorry for stealing your bf?" but you know what, i'm gonna do something worse.. i'll just sit this one out.. and forget about jen and dex.. and live up to my being selfish.. everybody seems to think so anyway..

p.s. i need a hug -_-

Monday, September 20, 2004

..."more work?" ala warcraft

System Time: 8:30 AM
my Mom texted me and told me to call Jul ASAP regarding their website.. arrghh.. i've been delaying that project for months and i now have to REALLY do it 'cause they need it already.. Jul said he needs it up and running on the 2nd week of July and for us to meet this Sunday for me to show the initial layout..

topak pa naman yung modem ko, ndi ako makapagonline.. *sighs*

anyway, while i was at sta.lucia last Sunday, i got a call from dex..
me: oh, mi..
dex: hello mi, meh gustong kumausap sayu..
me: ha? ahh ok
woman: hello? hello? bakit hindi ka sumama keh dexter?
me: haa.. po? ay, sino po ito?
woman: ako ang nanay ni dexter.. sana sumama ka keh dexter (or something like that, ndi ko na maalala mashado)
me: ay andito po ba kayo?
woman: ay hindi, andito kami sa Talaga, sa Argao.. akala ko kasama ka ni dexter dito.. bakit hindi ka sumama?
me: ay kasi po ang dami pong trabaho, hindi po ako makapag leave..
nanay ni dex:ay ganon ba, sayang..
(then she talked about some stuff i couldn't understand.. something about kids? lol! i really don't know.. hehe.. parang she was asking kung maraming bata sa bahay? ahh ewan)
nanay ni dex: oh sige, eto na si dexter
dex: hello
me: kailan ka dumating dyan?
dex: kanina, mga 7
me: ahh ok. alam na ba nila?
dex: ay sige, babay na..
me: but eventually they'll know, right?
dex: sige mi, babay na..

i just ended the call. haaaaaay. i think he also said that when he got there, his mother was asking, "asan si gretchen? bakit hindi mo sinama?" i haven't met them, his folks.. i didn't realize that they KNEW me..(or my name) but, i just wished dex just told them that we're not together anymore.. it'll be unexpected, i'm sure, but it's better than prolonging the lie.. then there was this question that he misunderstood.. i asked "kelan ka dumating" and he said "hindi na".. then i repeated my question and he said "ahh. kaninang 7".. so i guess he means that he's never going back to Manila again.. in a way i feel relieved.. i guess he'll just have to do what he has to do to help him move on.. and i think it's best if he's surrounded by his family... but i'm also a bit angry.. what's the point of talking to his mother? he just keeps on laying the guilt on me.. i'm to blame for everything.. his unhappiness, his unemployment,.. arrrgggh. it's not working, i don't feel guilty anymore..he knows EVERYTHING.. every single bad thing i've done but still, he chooses to hold on... so bahala siya. it's HIS life he's wasting.

System Time: 9:05 AM
had a Smallville marathon last night, think i watched episodes 8-13 from season 3.. it was only past 10 when i finished the 13th episode but i was already experiencing the early signs of a migraine from watching too much TV so i decided to stop.. anyway, my jaw si KILLING me.. it hurts soo much.. i can't even speak without aligning my jaw first (lol! basta, it's pretty complicated..).. i can't eat properly, i can't speak.. and the simple task of puffing a cigarette has become arduous to say the least.. i can feel my upper jaw grinding to my lower jaw when i open and close my mouth.. waah the painnnn lol

System Time: 9:37 AM
waaah andito si Ma'am M.. HUHHU. now i REALLY have to work. lol! siyet. sige post ko na toh.. babayy!

System Time: 10:52 AM
ano ba yannnnn bakit ba ako hindi nagtatrabaho.. am forever stuck in the saving module of my program.. my deadline to finish the WHOLE entry-level is at the end of this month and i still am only half-through with it.. i only have 9 working days left.. gaaah! i just can't seem to get in the mood.. and i can't think! waah. andito pa si Ma'am M buti nga hindi pa ako kinakamusta eh.. huhuhu.. *untog ulo sa pader*

System Time: 11:04 AM
after lunch talaga, swear! magtatrabaho na ko.. wahahaha.

ei. were you guys able to watch the amazing race when the pitstop was here in Manila? it was soo funny watching Colin run after his carabao .. he even cried out "my ox is broken!" DAAAH. tongks! his partner, Christie wasn't any help 'cause she was just at the sidelines watching Colin get frustrated by the second.. i want to kick her to get her to help Colin guide the carabao.. the other teams instinctively plowed the field together, i don't what's wrong with Colin and Christie, maybe they were really panicky 'cause they were the last team to perform that roadblock..

lunch time! brb.

System Time: 4:36 PM
waaah saya sayaaa! i was able to find mp3s of the OST of Twin Sisters and am now listening to them.. waahaha! of course, i don't understand a single word (most are mandarin, plus there's one japanese song) but i don't care! sa daming beses ko naman siyang mapakinggan, you just learn to appreciate it even without understanding it..

/me hapi hapi HEHE. maiinggit si ate chary nito bwahahah (and si heidi! LOL! missyu heids!)

System Time: 4:51 PM
hihihi. kinikilig ako kasi naririnig ko boses ni Wallace Huo LOL!.. currently listening to Somebody, one of the songs in Twin Sisters sung by Wallace.. hihihi ^_^

System Time: 4:56 PM
gusto ko ng umuwi! at manood ng Twin Sisters! lol! babay! post ko na ulit toh!


ilymp! mnk!

Saturday, September 18, 2004

...uwian na!

System Time: 1:23 PM
am here at the office! doing nothing but listening to Music and reading the transcripts of Gilmore Girls, season 4.. i sort of missed Lorelai and Rory, so i'm trying to catch up.. anyway, last night we went to Eastwood and i met Raymond's friend, Mai.. also met Roni and she gave me the invites for her Wedding.. (i am NOT giving one to Eboy, i'll give Eboy's invite to Anshe and SHE'LL be the one to give it to her!) i'm supposed to be working on my code, but as usual, am not in the mood to do it. chet! bahala na sa Lunes! gaaah. dapat talaga maka-isip na ng bagong raket! taena..

one week na kami ni pangs kahapon! *MWAH*

actually, we've been going out for about 3 weeks now, since the memorable august 27th.. so that's how long i've been delaying my workload.. lol.. bad influence, amputs.. LOL JK! i'm still super excited whenever i see him.. it's been such a long time since i felt this way, parang highschool! arrrghhh.. conscious parin, kinikilig (LOL!).. takte, kinikilig lang ako pag nakikita ko si Ken Zhu eh! LOL! whoever said that love must be comfortable should go back to studying it 'cause you definitely have to have passion in a relationship.. life's too short for it to be boring.. you can quote me on that! LOL!

System Time: 4:05 PM
ALIS NA KAMI!!! binibilangan na ako ni raymond olats!

Friday, September 17, 2004

...taga uste ka ba?

..found this on my friendster bulletin board.. have nothing to do so, sagot muna!

College:== commerce

Course:== information systems management

Ano favorite subject mo?== cobol (pero ndi na ako marunong magcobol ngayun! lol!), taxation

Ano pinakahassle na subject?== accounting...buwsit!

Sino favorite prof mo?== si prof. ngo! kasi pag nagtatanong kami, tas hindi nya alam, talagang sinasabi nya na hindi nya alam (hindi siya nagiimbento ng sagot tulad ng ibang prof) tas ireresearch nya so kinabukasan, alam na nya ang sagot! the best!

Saan-saan orgs ka kasali?== APO lng tlga ako sumali.. sa iba kasi automatic eh (like PRISMS, org ng course)

Masaya ba sa block nyo?== SOBRA! HMID tska ISM, di ako makapili kung ano ang mas masaya!

Officer ka ba?== ndi

Sino seatmate mo?== nung pre-com, madalas si Julius (alphabetical kasi eh) .. nung ISM, madalas si Anshe

Hirap ka na bang mag-aral?== sa accounting, yung iba, todo memorize lang lol

Saan ka madalas tumambay sa uste?== nung pre-com madalas kami sa tapat ng soccer field, yosi lang dun..tsaka sa Tapsi lol! nung ISM sa comlab (10 oras ka ba naman dun sa isang araw)

Napagkamalan mo bang simbahan ang Main bldg?== oo bwehehe with matching sign of the cross, LOL!

Nakagamit ka na ba ng elevator sa bldg nyo?== yep! kasi buhat ko CPU ko, so ayun, pinayagan ako ng guard!

Madalas ka ba sa coop? Ano lagi mong binibili?== yep, medyo, lapit kasi sa building namin.. kwe-kwek!

Ano mas masarap, mojos o cheesy potato?== mojos! pero matigas mojos sa coop eh hehe

Nagbabasa ka ba ng Varsitarian?== ndi mashado..

Ano fave cheer mo for uste?== GO USTEEEEE! GO USTEEEE! GO USTEEEEE! GO GO GO GO! *with matching giling*

Gusto mo bang maDL?== nag DL ako. *ehem ehem*

Ano gusto mong baguhin sa uste?== yung ngayon, kasi no smoking campus na

Bakit sa USTe ka nag-aral?== no choice! lol! pero i'm very proud to be a Thomasian!