Thursday, January 30, 2003

hey all! i'm back.

am gonna start looking for free online photo album stuff.. gaaaah.. getting more and more pictures but i simply don't have enough time to create a flash movie for them.. hafto uploadddd them in my site but i'm so priking lazy.. so the best alternative is have somebody else do it for me.. hehe..

hmm.. have a RPG test tomorrow.. actually.. we weren't supposed to be included in that test (cause duuuh.. we might not even use RPG in radix 'cause we're reserved for the VB projects) but since the following events, Ma'am Bel wants us to make our office time more productive..

1. got caught playing LOTR TCG
2. got caught playing 3-D montage pictures
3. got caught sleeping

hehehe. it has been ONE LONNNNNG week. TGIF tomorrow..

wish i could watch Stephen speaks' concert on Feb 8.. still hafto find someone to go with.. haaaaaaaaay..



Monday, January 27, 2003

hi all!

had a blast at caleruega.. got loads of pictures.. will hopefully add to my soon to be uploaded site gallery..

not in the mood right now to make wento.. but all i can say is, i needed that break.. and it was soo good for me.. to see my classmates again and enjoy their company..

well.. bye now.. *mwah*

Friday, January 24, 2003

read this in my e-mail. thanks eboy.

There are times in my life when I don't see the truth
and listening to your sweet words just takes me away from the world...
I needed love, I needed what I always have
and I thought you could give me that...
I know now that you never could...
If I could turn back time is an appropriate phrase to use for us,
although if I had the chance, I wouldn't change it all...
Just the part where I didn't let you go when I knew it was best for me...
I thought I would be with you until I lay to rest forever
Caught up in a dream - or so it seemed...
I thought you loved me the way I did you.
All the times you looked into my eyes, not even inches from my face.
The heat of your body made me feel comforted,
and I had imagined many more days like this.
It was all a dream...a dream that made me realise
there is more to the world than you.
There are people out there
that will return the love I felt for you...
not take it, steal it, and leave me cold and afraid.
Without you, I never thought I would be...
Yes, a few times I did, but I thought I'd be the one to make the move.
Not be here crying as if you are the most important factor in my life.
You aren't. You never were.
My mind was made up, and now my heart has changed.
Your cold eyes will never be twisted to make me feel safe again,
because all along you were the one to hurt me.
No more excuses, no second chances.
I'm leaving your memory now, because if I don't
I won't be able to move on, forget, and be happy.
I have too much at risk for that.
Too much for you to take, but I won't let you anymore.
You are alone...or maybe she'll accept you.
I'm not in your life.
No longer will I put my heart on the line with effort or try to tell you
how deeply I cared, because it is over forever.
Although I will remember you, remember the things that I have learned
and the good times I have experienced,
you will be the one remembered
as hurting me more than anyone has ever hurt me before...
I've made up my mind and decided what is best, AND I AM NOT COMING BACK!!!

alayb again.

good news... am now a regular employee.. aka junior programmer (from programmer trainee).. also got an increase which hopefully will sustain my addiction to LOTR TCG.. speaking of which.. bought another one at megamall today.. the all new Aragorn, Two Towers starter deck.. woohoo... well.. another 450 bucks lost..

am going to caleruega tomorrow.. at long last our retreat will finally pull through after 2 cancelations.. though am not that excited 'cause eboy and roni probably won't be there.. sucks.. thought our barkada would at least be complete.. anywayz.. have to sleep early 'cause i hafta be at UST around 7 am.. don't want to be left behind..

have been doing almost NOTHING this past week at the office.. just been playing LOTR with chipper and kuyuh roni.. though we sometimes take a break and work a little.. hehe (15 minute break LOL!)

hmm.. have not been thinking of pangs.. (yeah right) but really, can see my past blog here in this editing mode and i mentioned him there.. i think he won't call anymore 'cause HE's the one who's pissed at me.. as they say.. nothing lasts forever..

heard from the hip-hop guy yesterday.. was actually pretty happy to hear from him.. he's still my friend after all.. he's working at this factory for KFC and we chatted for a few minutes at the phone.. was basically just listening at his marinating escapades and KFC hotshots stories...hehe..

all in all i think it has been a pretty so-so week.. normal.. boring.. just the way i want it..

night all and God speed.

Sunday, January 19, 2003

if i had trouble sleeping last time.. the problem's been totally reversed.. now, it seems as if all i do is sleep!.. like yesterday.. i was just thinking of having my siesta at around 4 pm.. but then i woke up at 7:30 am the next day.. wahahahaha..

know i haven't been blogging.. mainly because i don't have an isp account.. am currently (discreetly) using my sister's.. she's in the loo and i'm taking advantage of the fact hehe..

don't have anything new to talk about.. still am training for RPG at work.. still am going home late because of it..

had a chick-flick movie marathon yesterday.. watched the sweetest thing and bridget jones diary.. couldn't decide whether i felt light hearted or more depressed after watching it... i mean, the endings are the same.. they were happy because they got the guy.. hmm.. sucks.. we're so guy dependent.. suckkkkksss

anywayz.. speaking of guys.. pangs is just so.. GAAAH. kakadismaya.


ang kapal ng mukha.

yun lang. /me bow.

can't believe someone like him exists. okay. so maybe i'm talking nonsense to you. but it doesn't matter. fuck. what matters is that you know that his an A**hole. langkwentaaaaaaaaaaaaa buwsit. and he had the nerve to give me the lamest excuse in the world.. ano kala nya saken.. tanga? putek. oo nga.. tanga ko.. ANG BAIT KO KASI. taena. ganito talaga mundo. pag mabait ka.. wala kang dapat asahan sa mga tao. kalimutan na. pakyo.

/me baba kilay na nung linggo puh nakataas.

/me tsk tsk tsk. still can't fucking believe it. now i know what kind of a person he is. WALANG WENTA.

why am i such a poor judge of character?????

why do i always get associated with these kind of people... gaaaah. KIDS.


ate cha! hahahahahaha. yun lang. lagot ka hahahaha. /me hugs ate cha sabay kiss sa neck. misyu bruha!

ayun babay na. paramdam lang sa blog ko.

/me flying kiss sa lahat except keh pangs na buwsit.

Friday, January 10, 2003

/me kanta.. it's been quite a while...

have been going home late for the past week.. so that i'll have no trouble sleeping because i'll be so freaking tired when i get home.. same stuff at work.. though we have a new project exercise.. it's been a good therapy for me.. though sometimes my mind feels separate from my body.. hafta concentrate extra hard to get the work done...

i do look forward to seeing my officemates.. 'cause they could always make me laugh.. ^_^

TGIF? i guess.. oh yeah... LOTR the two towers will be showing tomorrow.. my sisters and i will watch it of course.. twice even, 'cause ate chary bought us some tickets for sunday at greenbelt3.. i told them i wanted to watch it tomorrow and they said that we will.. PLUS on sunday also.. (weird namen noh?) fanatics rule. lol.

have no account.. am illegally using my sister's.. just wanted to visit my blog...

nite all.

PS. saw his face again. tsk.

Saturday, January 04, 2003

i feel so empty.

spent the whole day lying in bed.. have been reading again.. it helps me fall asleep.. -_-

ok.. so i chatted yesterday using webchat.. fuck. and what good did it bring? zilch. only made me more miserable than before.. i disconnected after only a couple of minutes.. and scolded myself .. priking masochist.. torturing myself by seeing him online...

i pray... for indifference..

nite all.

Friday, January 03, 2003

brain drain

was at the office for more than 13 hours today... was late 'cause i was trying to help some of my officemates with their exercises.. actually, i didn't want to go home yet, but i didn't want to go somewhere else after leaving the office so i just loitered there for a while..


ma'am belle said that ma'am violy, our project manager for the VB project (which was the original reason why i was hired at radix) will talk to us on monday.. she also said that the rest of our classmates (my new officemates) will work on the other room.. awwwww.. i'm going to miss them 'cause it's always such a riot when they start to goof around the training room.. we could be realllyyyy loud.. lol.. probably be starting with the VB project this year so it's babay AS400 for the 4 of us.. hay. iiwan na namin sila. how sad.

speaking of missing.... i'm missing this certain someone SO much that it causes this constant chest pain in every moment that i think of him..which is like 70% in a day..(remaining time is when i'm thinking of my program).. it's either him or work...sometimes it even interferes in my work that i couldn't concentrate... gaaaaaah.


and i miss you.. like the deserts miss the rain... -- Everything But The Girl

nite all.

Thursday, January 02, 2003

my post yesterday, January 1, 2002.


work day again tomorrow.. sucksss...
anywayz.. time to recap the year that was...


JANUARY - was assigned to Bacolod, met Ate Cash there (for the first time).. went together to Cebu (on Ate Cash' birthday) to meet momi and Mel.. saw dolphins while on the barge woo-hoo! (tama bang mas natuwa sa dolphin)

FEBRUARY - left Bacolod,.. started thinking of resigning from work.. (was at Infostructure then).. mainly because I was so down.. I kept thinking of my momi and how we just parted ways with no definite plans or promises..

MARCH - continued working.. went back to Manila clients.. MIRIAM, Business Sense, etc.

APRIL - handed my resignation letter.. though i still had one more month before it took effect.. met pangs in IRC (tsk)

MAY - 22nd was my last day of work for Infostructure.. started having my online journal... was also the month when i was called intangible by peter.. (:p) hay. *shoos away lonely thoughts*.. still a bum..though i think i started looking for a new job..

JUNE - received snail mail from momi.. had my official break up with him.. went to different interviews, tests, etc. at computer companies..

JULY - new job at Radix Systems.. started my VB training.. new officemates.. tried to put my life back on track... also the month when i uploaded my new site.. the home of this blog..

AUGUST - still training for VB.. though after the training,..started to get bored at work.. so i started blogging in a notepad at the office..

SEPTEMBER - harbie's new of engagement.. (IKAKASAL KA NAAAAAA hehe) started making the fan site.. momi also surprisingly left a message in my old guestbook.. saying that he was here in MANILA! (@_@)

OCTOBER - momi and i met again.. was momentarily happy.. but of course, all good things must come to an end.. he went back to Cebu after he took the board exam.. was soooo down... then found out that pangs has a gf. which was like.. nYeH. started avoiding him.. reasons for which were pretty obvious.. i had feelings (eh-hem) for him..which i would gladly remove in my system if i could. -_-

NOVEMBER - birthday month! had a birthday bash in my house.. was a success inspite of the brownout.. (boo).. also started AS400 training at work.. was a good thing because i was really getting to dislike work.. met new officemates.. kuyuh allan, kuyuh alain (kamukha ni benjie paras LOL), ate melody, kuyuh rony (ka-magic ko), ate gay (HP fan!), ate joy(seatmate ko na sa training room), ate jenny (ang tangkad!) and ate lyn.. errp.. almost forgot.. the month i made a bloody mess at Boni overpass.. which left me literally, scarred for life.. hehe

DECEMBER - christmas party at office.. was soooo fun.. was an expensive christmas season.. ANG PASKO AY PARA SA BATA hehe.. decided to stop chatting.. still don't know the outcome of that resolution..then of course.. facing singleton life (again! *sighs*)

whew. for details, read my blogs! lol.

hope to see you guys around.. sign nyo guestbuk ko.. or sa forum (kung buhay puh yun lolz).. tsismisan nyo naman ako hehe..