Monday, December 30, 2002

hay. kakasenti. hehe. (sabay tawa)

seriously.. i miss HS life.. problems back then were petty and easily solved.. EMOTIONal problem? ano yun dibuh? now i know the meaning of the words.. wholly and embedded in my soul..

here's to my Kulasa friends! *hugs* *mwah* missyou!

why d laugh? been reading some HS palanca letters.. throwing out some (ansama!) think keeping some of them for more than 5 years is enough.. was i THAT bad when i was in highschool? got a lot of stuff like... "kaka pikon ka talaga dati" or.. "paminsan isipin mo naman na nakakasakit ka na ng tao" HEHE. actually.. now that i try to remember.. i was really kinda (?) mean.. especially when i was in 3rd year HS.. really treated the "other" kids err.. basta ndi ako mabait.. i was only good with MY friends.. but i think i changed during my senior year.. tried to be friends with everyone.. and i got some positive reactions from that in my letters also.. that i was friendlier and i tried to widen my circle of friends.. hehe..

will go back to reading.. gaaah.. wasn't i supposed to be cleaning?

presently cleaning my room... my hands are so filthy that i think i'm leaving fingerprints in my keyboard.. hehe.. think i'm already half way through.. been mostly throwing out stuff.. unlike most people.. i'm not really the sentimental type.. like the ones who have a hard time throwing stuff 'cause they always recall some sort of cherished memory from things.. i remember them, mind you.. but i think they'll just gather dust anyways so it's better to get rid of them.. i've always believed that memories are instilled in the mind.. not in material things.. that's just my opinion, of course...

there are a few stuff that i can't throw away, though.. mostly letters from different people.. like palanca letters i received when i was in highschool and college .. (the kind they give you when you're in a retreat).. birthday greetings.. letters from ex's... yep they're still there.. don't have the heart to throw them.. can't even delete my IRC logs... placed all of them in a separate folder.. it sometimes makes me happy to read them... i try not to ponder on what happened to THESE people.. but to concentrate on HAPPY moments.. happy thoughts.. :)

also destroyed (hehe) my harry potter shrine.. now, it consists of my TCG collection.. bought a new one yesterday.. a Legolas starter deck for my LOTR TCG.. quite happy with it.. think i stared at Legolas' face for a full minute before opening the box.. lol..

/me looks at bedside table..

gaah.. there are SO much junk stuffed inside that i have this urge to just throw EVERYTHING out.. better start.. it's already 12:30 pm and i wanna finish before i eat my lunch..

blog u later.

PS. TG i deleted my IRC. right after i connected i clicked my IRC shortcut located in my confused for a minute 'cause the dialog "finding program achuchu" sprung up.. sorry.. bad habit -_-.

Saturday, December 28, 2002

just a few days to go before the start of a new year... time for resolutions.. not that i actually do them.. it's just fun for a while when you remember them and attempt to stick to them.. even for just a few days... i remember telling myself last year to stop swearing... was pretty funny cause i'll be saying..."tae" instead of tangina.. hmm.. though i think this year has become my "swear smorgasbord all time high year" hehe..

... has been an OK year.. considering...
1. resigned from first job.. reasons for which were pretty stupid.. just got to the point that i can find no satisfaction in my life..
2. got a new job.. office sux...
3. lost a really really BIG material thing (gaah.. naalala ko na naman -_-)
4. still no improvement re: relationship with dex

i was considering going to Cebu next year.. in time for sinulog.. and to meet him again.. but i decided (just now) to follow my friend's advice...i quote mel: "ang dami mo nang nagastos para sa kanya. marami pang iba dyan sa tabi tabi".. tama! hehe... he didn't even greet me this christmas.. :( it's so sad.. but i'm beyond tears already.. i just feel like i'm a big empty box.. -_-

i decided to do something drastic this year.. really drastic for me 'cause it has been my lifestyle for the past couple of years.. i'm going to attempt to stop chatting.. (take note of the "attempt" word).. IRC has brought a lot of pain in my life this year.. although it had its moments.. not to forget my wonderful IRC friends... (*hugs ate charol) but i think.. new year calls for a new start..
... i'm still going to blog.. and finish everything that i've started.. (like my HP and the fan site).. i'm going to delete my 2 IRC programs in my hard disk tonight.. that's why i'm considering this night as my last night to go online and properly say farewell to my #ust friends.. (LOL DRAMA!) .. think this is going to be the best decision that i'll make this year.. to stop chatting.. my family will be grateful of course... especially my sisters.. who have been my constant complainers.. hehe...

...i'll see you guys around.

happy new year :)

Friday, December 27, 2002

be good to yourself. hay ate cha.

SANA talaga magising na ako.



Thursday, December 26, 2002

hay. pak. -_-
almost forgot...

tama bang lumampas ako kaninang umaga sa opisina.. taenang yan.. wala kasing katraffic-traffic! naiba yung oras ko ng pagtulog sa shuttle.. paggising ko.. putik asa guadalupe na ako eh dapat sa boni ako bumababa.. sayang tuloy 10 piso ko sa mrt.. buti na lang maaga pa... ndi parin ako nalate.. pero takte.. sayang pera ko! haha.. la lang..

gudnayt all!

been thinking on my way home re: my program. (watda!?).. i mean.. i kept debugging in my head my source code as to why it isn't functioning in the way i expected it to be.. lolz.. anywayz.. the exercise is actually finished.. but Ma'am Belle explained her style to us and i wanted to adapt it to my program.. but i can't fucking make it work.. hay.. already have a game plan for tomorrow.. sorry but i have to blurt them out here for me to remember them...
.. 1. create separate subroutine for review option (use mode=4)
2. check the freaking loop.. my 'val' variable, my dowhile statement
3. make sure i turned off indicators and cleared message description field after EXFMT

... hmmm... my officemates kept on telling me not to change my program (cause it's already finished) but i really really want to try and make Ma'am Belle's style work..



la lang! hehe. nakngputekgustokonangpumuntasacebu!

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

merry christmas. :)

Monday, December 23, 2002

haaaaaaaaay. /me sings.. everything falls apart..

can't even talk about it here in the blog.. makes me soooooooo sad.

can't seem to see the silver lining in this particular grey cloud..


gotta sleep.


Saturday, December 21, 2002

grabe. watachristmasparti! was really flooding with beer.. they said they bought a total of 18 cases.. i was already wasted around 2 am.. was a little bit disappointed with our presentation 'cause we could barely hear our vocalist.. tas feedback pa ng feedback yung lecheng mic.. hehe.. pero i think maraming nagulat na marunong akong magdrums.. kaya aliw...

kainish puh e.. nung mga 2 am na nga.. humiga lang ako dun sa pinagdikit dikit kong upuan.. thinking na sandali lng.. idlip lang.. naramdaman ko na lng na ginigising na ako at 4 am na at pauwi na daw sila.. lolz!.. olats ko kainish haha.. nakatulog talaga ako.. bilib nga daw sila saken dhel khet gaano sila kaingay tulog parin daw ako.. ayun.. ay .. nanalo ako ng rice cooker.. hahahaha.. kaya nagpasama muna ako keh koji pauwi kasi di ko alam kung pano ko bibitbitin yung rice cooker tsaka yung giveaway na ham and other achuchuchu stuff.. saya talaga! tas kulit ng presentations ng iba.. yung 2 grupo parehong nag dance number.. kakatawa sobra.. tas meh badtrip palang nangyari.. tangina nakabasag ako ng baso.. hiyang hiya ako nun chet.. talagang nagslip lang sa kamay ko.. waaaaah... kahiya.. obvious tuloy na lasheng na ako.. eh mababa lang alcohol tolerance ko e.. nung naka 6 na ako talagang meh tama na talga ako.. lolz.. bitin nga ako dun sa sayawan.. kasi ngaaaaaaa natulog ako bwiset hahaha.. nung ginising na nila ako.. pumunta muna kaming wendys nagpatanggal ng amats.. tas isa isa nameng hinintay na makasakay yung mga officemates ko... tas kami ni koji bumalik sa office.. stay kami dun hanggang mga quarter to 7 .. tas nakauwi ako mga 8 a.m... oha.. ang aga kong umuwi.. lol!

gusto ko pang magwento kaya lang medyo tinatamad na ako.. hehe.. ay meh isa pang good news.. meh nagiinquire (sa wakas) dun sa thinkpad ko.. magkikita kami supposedly bukas para tingnan nya yung unit.. sana kunin na.. para magkapera na ako...

ayun.. babay !

Thursday, December 19, 2002

just drank one bottle of beer. a teaser for tomorrow's christmas party... kuyuh don² offered us some.. hehe.. now am really psyched up to bang away on the drums...

gaah.. papunta na daw sila dito.. ang tagal! lumaki kagad tsan ko sa isang beer hehe..

surp ulit.
wow. am actually posting at the office... just waiting for my officemates to arrive with the equipment.. gonna have our last practice for tonight.. already 8 pm and still no sign of chipper and koji...

am actually pretty excited for our presentation tomorrow.. but am also a bit nervous 'cause we haven't practiced that much.. total of just 2 practices in a band studio.. gaaah!? i mean, how good can one get in just 2 practices? that's why our last practice is very critical.. don't want to totally embarass ourselves infront of the whole company!

hayyy.. am again adjusting with the PC keyboard.. /me tapon backspace key tutal ndi ko naman ginagamit. chet.

hmm... ANG TAGAL nila.. asan na buh sila..

surp muna. hafto grab the chance of a DSL connected net.

bye all!

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

hi all!!!

nice to see my posting page for my blogger site.. been 4 days since my last blog.. nothing spectacular has happened, just us still practicing for the christmas party.. we attempted to practice again today but it turned out to be just one LONG road trip..

gaaah.. i have reached my quota storage limit for my yahoo account... paking forwarders.. LOL.. (juks onleh guys)

nyehhhhhhhh... just found out they lowered my access in #ust.. nawala lang ako ng ilang araw, ano buh yun!? ... hay feeling ko suspect na naman ako dun sa nagtatanggal ng axes ng mga tao.. as ip..di ako nagtatanggal noh.. tsk.. hay. sa bagay.. di ko nga napansin e,.. kung hindi lang tinanong saken ni johnell kung bakit bumaba access ko.. gaaah..

anywayz ayun.. hay.. eka nabwiset ako e, LOL!

hay magdedelete pa ako ng mail. practice na naman ulit bukas... mag te-twelve na.. dapat ng makatulog..

ay.. saw Ton² today.. cute nya parin. lalo na nung sinabi nyang.. "hi, che" HEHEHE. tas biglang hirit na "oh, parang bangag ka pa?"
kakagising ko lang kasi sa fx tas biglang stop ko na pala. lolz. anywayz ayun.. always a pleasure to see him. maybe i'll have sweet dreams later. :)

nayt all!

Saturday, December 14, 2002

haven't been blogging... usually am very tired and sleepy when i get home from work.. anywayz.. still same work.. same officemates.. been training now for RPG, one of the programming languages you can use on an AS400 machine.. has been pretty interesting.. though my officemates are the main reasons why i'm enjoying the trainings.. they could be quite a riot.. lol!

..just got home batchmates and I have been practicing for our presentation for the office christmas party.. we'll be presenting first (boo-hoo) so the pressure's on us.. gaaah.. just hope we won't screw up.. we've been playing (or at least attempting to) sway.. don't stray.. don't ever go away.. ..i'm playing the drums.. hehe.. we still have another practice tomorrow here at our house.. we don't have any electric guitars or amps so we'll just have to use acoustic guitars.. at least we'll be able to practice the chords and the singing parts..

hmm.. christmas is fast approaching.. and i still haven't bought any gifts for my family.. already bought stuff for my inaanaks.. (i only have two).. hay. SMC na naman! lolz!.. i miss my momi ... if a genie popped up and gave me a wish, i'd wish for us to be together... it makes me so sad when i think of the possibility that we might not meet again.. 'cause i haven't heard a WORD from him ever since he left for Cebu.. hay momi. it's a fucking cycle. -_-

actually.. i don't what's wrong with me.. but there have been some very disturbing thoughts entering my head.. that maybe it's not Dex that i miss perce.. but you know..that i may be just plain missing someone whom i could love and be with.. hmm.. and my thoughts on pangs.. (uh-oh.. not again..).. i think i've figured out and labeled some emotions that i've been feeling these past few weeks.. and ever since knowing what these feelings are, have been doing my best to stop them.. and just block things out... when i find myself thinking about him... or when i'm missing him.. i just STOP and do other stuff.. it's extremely hard.. especially writing this in my blog.. cause the more i write about him.. the more that i know how helpless my situation is.. i'm in love again with someone who doesn't love me back... i'm nothing to him.. when all i want to be is everything for him... tsk tsk tsk.. maybe it's really easy for me to fall for someone.. 'cause i've only met him once for God's sake.. and here i am.. writing an almost entire blog about him.. if he just stopped calling you know,.. i just know that i'll be able to forget him.. time does heal wounds .. but not when the wound keeps on getting scratched and messed with.. if he would just ignore me, give me my one last cry.. then all of my whining and longing will be over... hay. this blog is making me lonely again.

gotta sleep. much to do on d morrow.

no melody can seem to soothe my mind

Friday, December 06, 2002

just got home... syempre pinagalitan na naman ako.. ewan ko buh sa kanila.. sinabi ko naman na ihahatid ako sa bahay... gaaahh..

san buh ko galing, aber..

una.. kumain kami sa shangri-la.. syempre japanese ulit.. sa kitaro.. tas konting arcade.. tas nung mga 9 pm na, pumunta na kami ni Koji kela Spraken.. ayun.. 2 beer.. tapos nung mga 10:30 pm.. pumunta na kami Big shots.. andun din iba naming officemates..

ayun.. umalis ako dun 1:30 am at nakarating ng bahay ng 2:30am.. hahaaaaaaay.. tas eto ako ngayon online parin LOL!..

hay tutulog na nga ako.


Tuesday, December 03, 2002

just finished encoding my blog.. hehe.. so low-tech..

anywayz.. already 11:30 pm.. prepared my Harry potter cards.. ate gay and i might be able to play during lunch time.. Ma'am Bel said we'll be starting with RPG programming tomorrow.. excited for that, now that i'm actually getting the hang of CL programming..

nite all!
...presently writing in my Harry Potter notebook.. have finished all exercises ahead of time (woohoo!) and am just entertaining myself.. this free novel from cosmo on my way to the office..titled 'Getting Better' by Tara FT Sering.. got depressed after finishing it.. not that it wasn't well written.. it actually had funny moments but i didn't like the ending.. story was nothing original.. the girl found out that her fiance` cheated on her.. in the end she moved on with her life because she found her replacement man.. sucks.. thought cosmo's theme was all about fun, fearless females... gaaah.. so the question is, .. is another man the answer to one's heartache? of course,.. the answer is a resounding NO.. that's the main reason why i didn't like the novel.. the lead character was a pathetic, dependent woman.. i mean, why does it become a "happy ending" when a girl gets hooked up with a new guy.. haaaaay..'s unfair..(eh? basta yun na yun!)

..learned a new slang today.. keps.. LOL!!! had to ask Koji and Chipper its meaning.. was later ashamed to death that i haven't learned it sooner.. gaaah! .. at least the novel had its purpose.. contained a lot of slangs..(bastos slangs hehe)

..haven't scanned my bday pictures yet.. my sister boxed me out at the PC last night.. have loads of stuff to do actually...
1. scan bday pictures
2. make galler for home page
3. scan how-to macrame stuff for ate ging
4. make gallery for fan site (and update the paking site!)

....don't know when i'll be able to spare time to actually accomplish my list (priority: #3, #1, #2, #4)
...#4 is quite tasking 'cause i still haven't captured images from the vcd...

Sunday, December 01, 2002

ay forgot to tell.. already watched Die Another Day.. in my opinion.. is the best James Bond movie i ever watched... was everything i expected a Bond film to be..

bye again!

birthday bash was a success! though some people weren't able to go.. (wapaks HS barkada) there were still plently of people to finish off the 3 cases of beer i bought.. my college friends were all there.. (hugs all of you).. my ex-officemates, chatmates, present officemates... even Ma'am Belle, (my boss and sis) went! but of course, i still wasn't lucky enough.. JUSKOPONG MERALCO YAN.. tama bang magbrownout!.. at first i was really, really pissed... but my guests weren't bothered that much.. (wahaha buti na lng, pero kabwiset parin).. good thing it was already past 1 am and it was already a little bit cold so they weren't too uncomfortable.. a lot of people got lost.. though officemate Chipper was the most-lost-at-the-mountains winner.. was MILES away from our house.. was beginning to get a liitle irritated at him when he kept on saying to me in his sarcastic, olats manner .. "great party, uh".. gaahh.. it WAS a great party.. to think we had no electricty.. but my friends are chatmates are good sports (unlike him-- party pooper) and they compensated with whatever we had.. which was of course, food and beer and people.. Bevs was playing at the piano all brownout-long with Irvie and Eugene belting out the "tunes".. chatmates formed their on circle and were just chatting all night.. though Nardo was always getting teased with people saying "Yeeeeeeee!" in the background.. LOL.. (you won't get the joke if you don't know his history, of course.. hehe)

the next morning... Irvie, Bevs, Roni, Eboy, Eugene were the ones left and we all went to our farm-liit at Paenaan.. was soooooo fun.. we had our "safari ride" (LOL).. had a fear factor test.. and went river tampisaw-ing.. hehe.. Eboy even said she's limping because of our so-called leap of faith.. hehe.. we had to jump between canals to go to the river.. irvie was the funniest 'cause she said she felt as if she stopped in mid-air and that if it wasn't for us pulling her to the other side, that she might have fallen.. LOL! too bad ria, harbie and anshe weren't there.. think they left at around 4 am..

... more good news.. ate's advance christmas gift is.. (pabulong) .. erhmm.. cool dudes vcd.. BWAHAHAHAHAH.. now i'll be able to finish my gallery.. no more excuses! lolz..

speaking of which.. better get started before i get lazy again....

bye all!

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

happy birthday to me. -_-

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

have i got a story to tell.

started out like any ordinary tuesday morning.. with me and my sister in a shuttle service..
..was already at my usual drop site.. an overpass which is two blocks away from my office.. while getting out of the shuttle service van.. i exactly don't know what happened.. but i think i must have tripped over the passenger's feet.. before i knew it.. i was falling down the van.. with my head getting hit by the post near it..
.. was sprawled on the street (like a fucking beggar LOL) with my face on the pavement.. heard the man with the big feet at the van saying.. "naku miss!!!" then he helped me stand up.. touched my forehead.. (left hairline) and looked at the blood in my hand.. the people inside the shuttle were shouting stuff like.. "dalin na sya sa ospital!" .. "meh dugo!".. so i was ushered back inside the van.. with my seat facing all of them..i heard a collective "ahh!" when i felt blood drip from my head to my neck.. then someone shouted.. "dyan lang sa tabi meh polymedic!".. so again i got off the van (with my sister, this time).. and walked a small distance towards the hospital..
my sister said "masakit ba?" then saying "syempre naman masakit ano, tanong puh ako!"
but i said "actually ndi naman mashado.. madugo lang ata tlga"
so there we were.. with me dripping blood in her uniform, in my slacks, and the handkerchief my sister gave me to put in my head , walking with this guy in front of us who were looking at us.. my sister said "san buh yung ospital?" to him.. he pointed at a driveway just ahead of us..


birthday bukol?

was really just a big bump in my forehead with the wound just a measly smaller-than-half-inch size.. didn't think the doctors there at polymedic (iba na ata pangalan nila ngayon... rv sumting) were used to having emergency cases.. 'cause they stared at me for a full 5 seconds before they moved and helped me out.. (lol.. me thinks: okay, move!) .. doctor thought that my nose was bleeding 'cause there was blood from my nose to my neck.. i said "ay ndi po.. galing yan sa ulo".. least i was able to sit in a wheelchair.. hehehe!

they cleaned my wound, then x-rayed my head.. i'm fine , i'm okay.. actually.. i could still have gone to work if i wanted to.. my officemates Koji and Chipper were able to visit me at the hospital.. was trying not to laugh at their jokes 'cause my head hurts everytime i tried to laugh.. hehe.. told me to bring a hard hat next time.. wahahaha..

end of story.

kaya nyo yun? *bows*

Thursday, November 21, 2002

*hungry mode*

AS400 training has been ok so far.. though i did find some lessons quite confusing... been doing some file coding exercises.. you can't believe what i'm doing in my keyboard today.. am actually "field exiting" at the enter key and entering at the Ctrl Key.. anywayz.. it's pretty hard to explain but the keyboard we use on the dummy terminals is different than the usual keyboard so it feels weird to actually have a backspace key now..

gaaaaaah.. i keep on pressing my Ctrl key..

hay. katamad mag blog sa bahay.. i feel so priking tayrd and hungry.. bye all *sleepy sigh*

Monday, November 18, 2002

started our AS400 Training today.. there were 3 new guys (all married *boo!*) and 6 new girls.. anywayz.. first day was okay 'cause we did the basic flow-charting.. time just melted away and before i knew it.. was already 6 pm.. ei.. ate's ISP is working already so i'll be able to go online again.. though i don't think i'll be able to blog in the office.. they don't call the machines we're using "dummy terminals" for nothing, lol.. (babay notepad huhuhu)..

gtg eat.

nite all! *mwah*
My blog last Friday, November 15, 2002

System Time: 9:28 AM
.. sister's account still wasn't working so i wasn't able to post my blogs last night.. but i did post them here at the office at Chipper's workstation.. had to very inconspicuous..good thing blogger's edit thingie has a white background..
..presently listening to Incubus - Pardon Me.. reminds me so much of my thesis days that my chest tightens when i hear this song (LoL) .. Eboy and I would listen to Incubus songs over and over again.. we lived (yes, lived) for a month at Harbie's place.. 6 of us.. doing our respective thesis.. but of course, it wasn't all work.. at midnight when most of us are feeling sleepy.. we would play a movie at one of the PCs (we had 4 PCs in a room) to help us stay awake.. though it wouldn't always work 'cause we would still fall asleep right in the middle of watching one.. we fell asleep at KamaSutra 2 (we would refer to that movie as KamaTulog later).. we had other thesis theme songs.. #1 of course is "Cruisin".. ALL of us would remember our thesis days when we hear that song.. was a BIG help living together..though each of us worked on a separate thesis, (only 2 in a group) help was just a kalabit away and there was always somebody to rouse you up when you're sleeping instead of working, calm you down when having a panic attack or simply cheer you up when you feel like you can't do it.. plus waking up with 4 PCs in front of you (with Roni already up and typing away, lol) was a big motivational factor and lessened one's laziness.. many of my treasured college memories happened that month and with my friends.. Harbie, Ria, Roni, Eboy and TP-Anshe.. (the "Harbie Sleep-talking/looking with me thinking it was spaghetti sauce instead of champorado incident", the "Ria saket ng katawan natulog na may bote ng lambanog sa tabi", the "KamaSutra kala namen maganda Kamatulog pala", the "Watching bongacious dancers do their thing downstairs everyday", the "woah good morning hanggang tuhod na ang baha", the "Prince in bathroom with all our *toot* in there ", etc.. etc.. etc..
*happy sigh sabay LoL*

System Time: 11:04 AM
.. so sleypi again. TGIF! will be able to sleep late again.. (8 am :p..well.. it's later than 5:30am, right?) [*_*] *stifles a yaWn*

System Time: 11:20 AM <---gwabe bagal ng oras, uh.. am actually nodding off again.. chet. musssst stay a--wake. @_@ am listening to Martin Nievera's Forever Album.. adds to my sleepiness.. was reading Anne of Green Gables before i felt my eyes drooping.. think I'm still on the first chapter.. have no right.. to ask me how i feel.. you have no right.. to speak to me so kind.. someday i might, i might find myself looking in your eyes.. but for now.. we'll go on living our separate lives..
..Zsa-Zsa and Martin are currently belting out this song.. hmmm.. mom already agreed to my pasta-party (though i didn't mention the "beer" part) on the 29th.. gave me some ideas on the Menu especially the ingredients on my "Salad Bar".. i'm planning on inviting my HS barkada (4), Pre-com (, cherry, erlyn.. though it's pretty doubtful that they could come, i could always hope, right?), ISM people.. (ahmm.. 5 ang kabarkada ko.. dunno how many of my classmates will go).. ex-officemates (3.. irvie, bevs and eugene).. present officemates (5, Chipper w/ gf, Froi w/ gf and Koji).. and of course, chatmeyts at undernet.. (around 10? dunno..) already created the map to our house yesterday..probably work on my online-invitation this weekend and upload the map.. also plan on checking the prices (for the menu) so i'd have an idea how much i'd be spending.. (hehe Yaaare) hmmm.. *thinks of grocery list* excited, eh?

System Time: 2: 41 PM
..have only Let Me in in my playlist.. i'm trying to memorize it.. hehe.. i'm always like this with a song that i like.. i'd play it over and over until i get tired of it..
..Let me in, to feel the fire.. let love unfold.. my body's wet and cold.. I'll never let you go.. until the sand rolls in the desert day by day.. I promise you my heart ..
and we can make love grow ..
until the day no longer turn the night away.. my lovely lady.. in love I'll stay..
.. still reading Anne of Green Gables.. has become more interesting.. though i myself don't like Anne as much as i liked Sarah of a Little Princess.. i think Anne's just plain talkative..

System Time: 4:00 PM
..exactly an hour to go before i log out.. hay.. sana mabilis akong makasakay.. kahapon ang olats.. kabuwsit.. lahat nagcu-cutting trip.. tas yung nasakyan ko sobrang obvious dahil pagdating masinag dumirecho syang COGEO.. gaah. sabi nga ng dad ko dapat 'ndi na daw ako nagbayad.. eh yoko kasi mainit ulo nung driver.. mura ng mura sa mga sasakyan, sa MMDA, .. tapos meh sumakay pang isang lolo na 'ndi nagbayad ng pamasahe.. actually, it's quite funny.. i've read my batchmate jen's blog once and she told a similar story..
.. edi wala akong masakyang COGEO ano, so nagMasinag na lang ako (lecheng mga FX) tapos, may 2 ng nakaupo sa gitna.. when i was about to get in, si tatang ay nag-attempt na umalis.. tapos narinig ko sabi ng driver "wag na kayong umalis, mahuhuli ako nyan e!" in his galit tone.. then another passenger came in and sat beside me.. so ganito pwesto namin sa gitna.. L-R.. isang guy, si tatang, ako tas isa pang babae.. tapos meh isang pasahero sa likod ang nagbayad.. so naturally, meron dapat mag-abot nun sa driver.. ang kumuha nung pera ay si tatang.. (remember that i'm just sitting beside him so i could see what he's doing).. ginawa nya eh, tiningnan nya lng yung pera.. (10 pesos worth in coins.. like HELLO, rush-hour bente-bente, malayo malapit) then he closed his hand around the coins.. i was just thinking on what he'd done when the passenger said "Nako, Tatang ibigay nyo po yan.. wag nyo pong itatago yan" in a voice that could be heard by us but not the driver.. Tatang said :"ibibigay ko naman" then gave the money to the driver.. tapos etong driver na mainitin ang ulo eh mega "KULANG PA PO NG SAMPU 'ITO" while the passenger at the back gave a detail account on Tatang's modus-operandi "Nakasabay ko na po dati yan e, talagang gusto nyang umupo sa gilid tapos kukunin nya yung bayad ng pasahero sa likod. tapos bigla na lang siya aalis. Diba po kanina hinawakan nya lang yung pera." (while others would say) "OO nga, kaya pala gusto nya sa gilid umupo" .. they're talking as if Tatang was deaf or something.. kaawa din khet papaano, kasi kung titingnan mo sya ang amo talaga ng mukha nya (lol)... tapos yung driver pa.. "OH YUNG MGA WALA PANG BAYAD DYAN, MAGBAYAD NA".. then after a while he figured out it was Tatang so kinausap na nya.. "TATANG HINDI PA KAYO NAGBABAYAD AH"..
Tatang: "Dyan lang.. pagdating Masinag" (eh Masinag was just an intersection away, lol)
Driver: "wala ba kayong pambayad?"
Tatang: "wala po"
Driver: "Tatang blah blah blah $%#$ dapat sinasabi nyo, ndi nyo niloloko kaming mga drayber..aambisyon pa po kayo na mag-FX #%@#$% achuchuchu"
Tatang: "salamat po"
Me thinks: "10 pesos na lng laman ng wallet ko.. just enough for me to go home dahil sa mga OLATS na drayber na nagcucutting trip" hehe wawa si Tatang.
sabi puh saken nung drayber "Dapat lang na murahin ko sya kasi pareho naman kaming matanda.. meh pamilya akong pinapakain uh ##$^@@#$ nya"
Me makes pilit ngiti while thinking: "ulewl. pareho lang kayong magnanakaw"

nyek. 5:07 na. BABAY!

Friday, November 15, 2002

My blog yesterday, November 14, 2002:

System Time: 7:37 AM <--wahaha aga ko
..was absent at work yesterday.. sobrang traffic kahapon sa masinag.. walang dumarating na shuttle service kaya sooobrang haba ng pila.. by the time i finally got inside one, direcho ayala ampootah.. wahaha.. was walking at ayala at around 8:45 am and i was telling myself.. "watdapakamidoinghere!?" .. was already extremely late so instead of stopping at BONI station, i got off at CUBAO at was on my way home..
..when i got home my dad said: "oh, kala ko maghahalf-day ka lang" (ate chary already called and told them what happened) "ayoko ng pumasok"
dad: "okay"
HEHE. i went with them on their errands and watched Harry Potter with them.. (my treat, of course)
..wooHoo..! i liked THIS movie more than the first one.. and i can't believe Ron and Hermione had a moment *kiligs all over* haha! i plan on watching it again.. plus my sister said that they're already showing the full-length trailer of The Two Towers.. wasn't able to see it 'cause my folks and i arrived at the movie house just in time.. Quidditch was better, the screenplay was better.. and how they've grown up! Ron's (rupert) always making piyok and Harry (daniel) gained weight.. (Ron: They were starving him, Mum.. Me thinks: No, they're not. lol) They're all at least an inch taller, i think.. especially Daniel and Rupert... and i still adore Hermione.. though i think she's thinner.. some girls screamed when Oliver Wood appeared on screen.. hehe.. i had to cover my mouth to restrain myself.. :p ..obvious buh excited parin ako sa movie?.. am still pretty psyched.. gusto ko na mag-saturday para mapanood ko ulit! movie house was jampacked and i think i'd only get good seats if i watched it as soon as the Mall opens! hehe.. thinking of asking my HS friends to watch with me..

System Time: 10:43 AM
..fucking slipped *wapaks herself* *wapaks sarili again*

System Time: 10:52 AM
...SOOOOO sleypi.. -_- falling asleep right this moment.. (even with Regine Velasquez screaming at the top of her lungs with her rendition of "I'll never love this way again").. presently listening to Regine's R2k1 Album.. (that's how the folder was labeled)

System Time: 3:59 PM
..just had a meeting with Ma'am Malou.. she said that since the VB Project is having legal problems, we're gonna be joining the new batch of AS400 trainees.. actually, i'm okay with that 'cause it's always cool to learn something new and i've never even touched a dummy terminal before..but of course, i'll be saying goodbye to my PC perks.. goodbye mp3.. goodbye notepad (reading OCRd books and THIS! my blogs).. hhuhuhu..not to forget what Ma'am Malou said, that Ma'am Belle (our trainor) is very particular when it comes to attendance so we should avoid being late.. (waah! >_<) bright side is i'll never have to worry about making panggap at the office.. 'cause i've seen other AS400 trainees and they follow a strict schedule of activities..though they also have strict break times ..15 minutes lang tlga waaaaaaah .. the new batch are also older than us (with already 2-3 working experience).. Ma'am said they're likely to be our junior analysts so we shouldn't compare ourselves to them 'cause we're more on the techie side.. (like i don't the difference between an analyst and a programmer).. i used to want to be an analyst.. but i find designing systems a bit boring.. that's what i did on my last job, actually.. many people say that we were like consultants.. and i'm pretty sure consultants/analysts receive a higher pay than most programmers.. but i still like programming better 'cause i'm not much of a people person.. analysts have to talk to all kinds of people, from managers, to users, to programmers.. and you can't really become that technically adept 'cause you don't need to become one in the first place,.. all you hafto do is depend on the programmers..

System Time: 5:31 PM
..tsk i think the balot i ate a while ago is wreaking havoc to my stomach.. *_* tsaket. LoL!
..hmmm.. wasn't able to go online last night.. Ate's company account didn't work so i wasn't able to post my blog.. not even sure if i would be able to post this one..

System Time: 6:06 PM
GTG now ! bye!
My blog last Tuesday, November 12, 2002

System Time: 8:15 AM

*breathes in, breathes out*
grabe! logged in at exactly 8:05 AM.. i really ran as fast as i could.. LOL.. i wasn't planning on running 'cause i already accepted the fact that i was going to be late.. but when i looked at my watch and saw 8:03 in it.. i thought "waah meh pag-asa puh" so i ran from the overpass to our office (bout 2 blocks) not minding the weird looks being given to me by other people.. lol! kapagod haha! i'm so out of shape! my knees where shaking when i sat down in front of my desk..

System Time: 9:54 PM
..presently listening to Sophie Zelmini - Always you (my bestfriend's wedding OST)
..if your love, i could command it.. get your head, to understand it.. i'd go twice, around the world even though i may not find it... oh you, it's always you.. it's always you..

System Time: 10:50 AM
..was bored and looked at other people's shared folders.. just my luck.. saw a shared one with mp3s in it.. presently listening to Best of VST album lolz..
..woah. dami pala! yehey! saw lots of different stuff, from newwave songs to wolfgang-greatest hits..

System Time: 11:54 AM
..nyi. Ma'am Malou is sitting beside Koji. and Koji's sitting beside me.. our direct supervisor is just one seat apart from me and i think she saw me sleeping (again) LoL.. don't know what i'll do when she asks me again what i'm doing.. ("wala po" na naman?)
..nyek. hiwap magpanggap ng malapitan. HAHA.

System Time: 2:42 PM
..doing some crystal reports.. was not really told to do them.. but it's either that or be caught sleeping.. i mean, eventually.. i think we're still going to do them anywayz, better to have an early start..

System Time: 3:49 PM
..what must i do, to make you mean everything to me. don't have the strength to say, give this heart of mine a chance.. maybe then.. you will see..
..obviously i've been listening to songs on other people's workstation hehe..

System Time: 5:41 PM
..basically been sound tripping all day (plus my all-time-favorite staring at my monitor hobby) LOL.. just remembered one really, really good song to sing.. Cool with You by JLHewitt.. dibuh dibuh dibuh? hehe

System Time: 6:03 PM
gtg ! bye!

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

System Time: 8:15 AM

*breathes in, breathes out*
grabe! logged in at exactly 8:05 AM.. i really ran as fast as i could.. LOL.. i wasn't planning on running 'cause i already accepted the fact that i was going to be late.. but when i looked at my watch and saw 8:03 in it.. i thought "waah meh pag-asa puh" so i ran from the overpass to our office (bout 2 blocks) not minding the weird looks being given to me by other people.. lol! kapagod haha! i'm so out of shape! my knees where shaking when i sat down in front of my desk..

System Time: 9:54 PM
..presently listening to Sophie Zelmini - Always you (my bestfriend's wedding OST)
..if your love, i could command it.. get your head, to understand it.. i'd go twice, around the world even though i may not find it... oh you, it's always you.. it's always you..

System Time: 10:50 AM
..was bored and looked at other people's shared folders.. just my luck.. saw a shared one with mp3s in it.. presently listening to Best of VST album lolz..
..woah. dami pala! yehey! saw lots of different stuff, from newwave songs to wolfgang-greatest hits..

System Time: 11:54 AM
..nyi. Ma'am Malou is sitting beside Koji. and Koji's sitting beside me.. our direct supervisor is just one seat apart from me and i think she saw me sleeping (again) LoL.. don't know what i'll do when she asks me again what i'm doing.. ("wala po" na naman?)
..nyek. hiwap magpanggap ng malapitan. HAHA.

System Time: 2:42 PM
..doing some crystal reports.. was not really told to do them.. but it's either that or be caught sleeping.. i mean, eventually.. i think we're still going to do them anywayz, better to have an early start..

System Time: 3:49 PM
..what must i do, to make you mean everything to me. don't have the strength to say, give this heart of mine a chance.. maybe then.. you will see..
..obviously i've been listening to songs on other people's workstation hehe..

System Time: 5:41 PM
..basically been sound tripping all day (plus my all-time-favorite staring at my monitor hobby) LOL.. just remembered one really, really good song to sing.. Cool with You by JLHewitt.. dibuh dibuh dibuh? hehe

System Time: 6:03 PM
gtg ! bye!

Monday, November 11, 2002

System Time: 1:29 PM's Jing's birthday today! Happy Beerday Jing!.. she's my HS kabarkada.. will be celebrating at their house on Saturday (yehey hehe).. speaking op burpdays.. mine's coming up soon..i'm actually getting excited 'cause i'm thinking of throwing a pasta-party hehe.. (ok, pasta-beer-party then) though i think my savings might get depleted after my least it's gonna be fun, right?
..can't believe i'm gonna be 22. 22 sounds so... un-teenagish.. though i haven't been a teenager for 2 years already, 21 doesn't sound so... old wahahah. *siGhs*
..feeling sleepy again. been doing some work (waaaaaaaat i'm actually working on a monday mawnin!?).. finished it before lunch time.. i think among the four of us, i'm the only one who isn't doing anything (again).. Koji's doing some really difficult SQL scripts, while Chipper and Froi are working on the templates..and me,..i'm just staring at my monitor trying to keep my eyes open.. @_@

*lets out a big YaWn*

..lapit na Haripotpot! well, that's exciting.. my sister and I are gonna watch it on Wednesday..think i'll just read the book (again).. test myself if i could memorize it.. lolz.. (so that i'll be able to answer HP trivia.. i suck at trivias huhuhu)

..ay! ay! saw Nic Belasco at Shangrila today.. ate lunch there.. he was with his wife and kids (i think.. just assumed).. you can't help but notice him 'cause he's so tall..

..hhmmmm... *thinks of list i did last Friday*

..wasn't able to upload anything new to my site ( i did say that item was "doubtful", right?); was able to do items 1,2 and 5.. watched The Touch (Michelle Yeong) and Mr. Deeds.. couldn't do item #4 'cause didn't realize that vendors have stopped selling cd mp3s at the mall near us.. (Sta.Lucia)

..just remembered something, this weekend, while chatting my notify list gave me this "discr3et is on IRC".. so my initial reaction was.. "wow nabuhay." .. i whois-d the said nick and saw that he was in #upcebu.. so that was clue #2 that he's really Spidey.. then after a few secs, i got the "discr3et has left IRC" thing.. my OTHER irc, (i had 2 that time, both connected) showed "discr3et euridic3 is logged in as".. so when i entered #upcebu, i only saw one handle voiced so i automatically whois-d that nick.. got " euridic3 is logged in as" so they're one and the same right?.. so i macked the nick and said

he said: "?"

anywayz, to make a long story short he didn't tell me that he was Spidey.. he denied it.. i mean, at first i kinda believed him.. but then (a day after that, i think) i saw "h0lygh0st is on IRC" with the "h0lygh0st euridic3 is logged in as" ek ek.. hay. i really don't get it why he doesn't want to talk to me.. as if i'd eat him alive or something like that.. it's not like i said something to offend him.. i believe it was the other way around.. HE was the one who rejected me.... hmmm.. onga ano.. *wapaks sarili* he doesn't want me bothering him. period. fine then.

System Time: 3:41 PM
..presently connected to Sir Herbert's PC (his mother died yesterday, btw. RIP condolence) listening to The Calling's whole album while eating Champola sticks to help me stay awake.. also been reading previous blogs.. hay. can't believe i'm so ma-emote regarding pangs. hilarious, really. thinking he was someone special, when he's just one big maLandeeeeeH. actually, i have already started talking to him at IRC.. i figured out what i was feeling...was disbelief, that i was so fucking gullible... talking to him doesn't hurt me anymore. when i think of him i just make this *tsk tsk* sound with matching iling in my mind while trying to hide this smirk forming in my face.. fucking comedy.

System Time: 4:59 PM
.. 1 hour to go.. reading past blogs again.. haven't mentioned that i have 2 fairy-tale books already.. second was "Animal Stories by Disney", could still be considered a fairy-tale book 'cause it had Cinderella in it (because of the mice? ewan. lol).. already have 8 stamps on my Powerbooks Track Card.. 65 stamps to go.. LOL! demmit ang dami pala.. asked my sister..
"ano makukuha ko pag nakumpleto ko ang stamps sa card na toh?"
she said: "card din"
nYeh! actually, she was referring to the discount card, ... hehe sana free book man lang hmpft... tagal ng Order of Phoenix, kainish.. what if something happens to J.K. Rowling? who would finish the rest of the HP books then? lol! just really getting impatient as to when the 5th book will be released.. hmmm..

System Time: 5:50 PM
..10 minutes to go, wooHoo! gonna meet k8tee at Galle to give back her brush.. she left it in my bag when we went to #cfad's halloween party..
..5:56 na.. more staring then log-out na.. bye!

Friday, November 08, 2002

System Time: 8:32 AM
..TGIF! had a difficult time urging myself to get up and go to work today.. focused on things like "i could wear jeans today"; "only 8 hours"; "can prepare bread with sundried tomatoes and cheese herb for baon".. actually ate one slice already.. (yum) they're really good.. all you have to do is put some sun-dried tomatoes on any piece of bread.. then add some cheese herb and toast them.. all of which can be bought at a gourmet store.. mom buys them cause she puts them in the spaghetti sauce.. *getting hungry again*
..downloaded last night Alice in Wonderland.. started reading it when i got here in the office.. didn't even finish the first chapterwhen i started feeling frustrated for Alice.. she's so stupid! LoL! no,really.. she is.. she's so TATA.. tatanga-tanga.. shifted to Book 2 of HP again..

..just remembered something..

..still haven't finished my site.. i really should continue doing it.. i keep on starting things and not finishing them.. just like the fan site i made for james blanco.. (lol).. but that has a more valid excuse 'cause i don't have enough pictures of him to start my "Gallery Link".. the pictures for my "Class Libraries" on the other hand have ALL been scanned.. am just plain lazy to do it..

System Time: 9:31 AM
..this is gonna be one LOOONG day.. hmm..
..wasn't able to watch the Amazing Race last night.. got home past 8.. (buwsit na traffic)
..figured out the site.. they PHYSICALLY put books on the wild.. just so happened that the first book i searched for had a URL link.. but most books have been physically left at some place and reported at the site so that a person may find it and read it.. did find a lot of e-book sites.. (search: free e-book at google) mostly contained classical literature.. thought i would enjoy reading Alice in Wonderland.. tsk tsk.. didn't remember her being THAT stupid and weird..

/me feeling my collar bone (LoL!!!)

hehe payat kow. (tlga? haha)

..hope i gain some weight before christmas.. i know i've been saying it often that i'll quit smoking but i'm really, really serious this time.. actually, it's sort of an experiment to see if i'm addicted to it.. 'cause i've talked to ex-chain-smokers and a few told me that they just decided to stop one day and they haven't smoked since.. not that stopping can guarantee weight-gain but i'm pretty sure i'm not exactly getting heavier by smoking everyday...just 10 minutes to go before break timeeee..

System Time: 10:55 AM they're telling us we hafto go to work tomorrow to help on the crystal reports..
/me NyeHH!
..'yoko nguh..was really looking forward to sleeping late tomorrow.. just hafto invent some valid excuse. :)

System Time: 2:38 PM
..turns out i don't need an excuse 'cause they'll only be needing one person.. and thaaaaaaaaaat's Koji! yehey!.. another good news (i think?).. our project-meter-incentive will really start soon.. on Nov. 20 to be exact.. like what Sir Herbert said, was a little bit unfair 'cause we were actually already helping in making some actual projects but we haven't been paid extra for them.. so officially on Nov. 20 (some of us will start earlier than that).. we'll be filling up Project Time sheet forms.. just a way for them to keep track of the hours spent each day on a form/module/report..

System Time: 3:46 PM
..just a little over an hour to go before 5 PM..wish time would just melt away.. guess i'll just continue reading Alice(tata) in Wonderland..

System Time: 4:15 PM
..feeling sleepy again.. can't even close my eyes 'cause my bosses are having a meeting at my right side.. could see them in my peripheral vision.. (lol) buwsit.. guess i'll just list down the stuff that i'll do this weekend..
1. wake up at around 8:30 am on Sat. morning
2. watch one of our pirated dvds
2. finish and upload my "Class Libraries" (doubtful..but i can always hope)
3. buy a cd mp3 (btw.. presently listening to Mike Francis - Let Me in (live ver.))
..wait.. hafto sing-along with it in my mind.. lolz..
..waah i don't know the lyrics hehe.. i got this part, though..'re my tomorrow and your my today and only you can show the way and of course the "Let Me in" part hehe.. hmm.. wonder if i have a p3 of this at home..
4. download Let Me in (if i don't have one yet)

that's it!.. i usually just bum around at our house during weekends.. sometimes i'd wake up early so i could start a movie marathon.. still have many unwatched dvds.. on Sundays we go to mass.. (we attend mass at a mall, lol) then my family makes pasyal somewhere.. (either go to our relatives, or do some shopping/grocery, etc)
wow 5 na. (weird? biglang bumilis) anywayz.. bye!

Thursday, November 07, 2002

System Time: 8:27 AM
..was so tired yesterday that when i got home, i slept first before eating my dinner.. good thing i slept at my parent's bedroom (they were obliged to wake me up) or else i wouldn't have eaten and just continued sleeping till morn.. finished reading A Little Princess.. they're supposed to give us Crystal Reports but they haven't even arrived yet.. guess they worked really late last night.. wasn't late today.. (yes!).. i was already late once this month, which broke my 32 days-no-late streak.. tsk tsk...
..i'm feeling okay now,..took decolgen and biogesic last night before sleeping..

System Time: 11:04 AM
..still haven't given us new crystal reports.. already finished reading LOTR.. *sleepy again*
..reading HP again for the nth time..Book 2.. ate Chary just called and said they're already selling tickets for the Nov. 13 showing at Greenbelt and G4.. asked if i would like to watch with her.. (syempRe!) so, as early as now, we already have sure seats reserved for Wednesday.. yeHey. i like watching at Makati.. audience is more educated and who actually have read the books...

System Time: 2:19 PM
..still haven't done a single-work related thing today.. seems like they don't plan on giving us any crystal report.. better download a new book later at home.. if only i could figure out this site.. i feel so stupid not finding the books "in the wild".. hmm..
..@_@ so hard to stay awake when you're doing nothing.. really grateful to my earphone extension.. i'm no longer stooping just to put on earphones.. still wish i had a cd-rw.. could've copied all my p3s at home to my workstation here at the office instead of buying cd mp3s..
..presently eating meiji biscuits.. don't even know what it's called 'cause everything's in japanese (except the word meiji).. they're like small chocolate mushrooms.. (yum-yum) helps me stay awake..

System Time: 3:05 pm
..gaaH.. sleepy again..(@_@) ..
..presently listening to Live - I Alone
.. to leave you there by yourself chained to faith.. i alone love you, i alone tempt you.. i alone love you, fear is not the end of this..

System Time: 5:07 PM
..think reading all day is making me dizzy.. hope i won't be doing this 'til tomorrow.. (but i have a feeling i will... no signs of giving us any reports to work on..)..

System Time: 5:35 PM <-- time's sooo sloww waiting for 6 pm..

System Time: 5:54 <--yehey
..i think i hafto stop reading now..'cause i'm getting dizzier by the chapter.. this is bad, reading all day..all my superiors are at the back.. perhaps with a clear view of my monitor.. must make panggap (LoL)
..haven't smoked since yesterday.. (sows.) i'm really serious now 'bout quitting for the ff. reasons:
1. feel sickly
2. low appetite
3. really feel as if i'm getting thinner everyday
..already 6 pm.. was this a loooong day or what? gtg now.. bye!

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

System Time: 9:11 AM
...been reading a soft copy of A Little Princess for an hour now.. saw a site where their motto is "free your books"; they give out URLs of books which have been scanned and OCRd.. was initially looking for the Bourne Identity but when i found it,.gave me dead-end links.. (hu-Hum).. still found a site where it contained classic books such as the one i'm reading.. plus The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, The Three Muskeeters, etc.. will look at the site again later when i get home.. all 4 of the HP books are there, as well as LOTR.. will share the URL later.. (forgot it).. not doing anything work-related.. just enjoying the book and my extended earphones (lol).. i could lean back on my chair now hehe.. will continue reading.. Sarah's still rich and her father hasn't died yet.. later!

System Time: 1:04 PM
..suddenly felt sick... already took some medicine (asked Ma'am Marlyn for a biogesic tablet).. borrowed Chipper's jacket.. *sighs* back aches, i feel nauseous and sleepy all at the same time... (~_~)

System Time: 2:32 PM
..everyone was called for a 'company meeting'.. was only about shutting down servers and the network.. will be given new crystal reports to work on.. they're on a deadline and i think we're expected to stay late in the office as well.. hmm..
..pak. now i remember why i don't like my present hairstyle.. hair keeps on going to my face that i now have two fucking zits; one for each cheek. they weren't there when i woke up.. waaaH! i'm like some weird bio experiment to prove that the human body is indeed asymmetrical. deMMit! been trying to tuck my hair behind my ear the whole day. grrrr.
...feeling better now.. (well, better than i was just a few hours before)..better but with zits. GRRr again.
...really, really hafto stop smoking.. resistance to viruses is non-existent.. i should remind my mother to buy me some multi-vitamins.. *sighs*

System Time: 4:07 PM
..zits weren't so bad after i looked in the mirror.. lol.. still concealable..
..ei free food again here at the office.. pizza tym!

System Time: 4:49 PM
... ate a slice of pizza, some spaghetti.. and chugged on coke.. didn't smoke after but i think i'm feeling hot again.. (i'm in heat, hehe).. how i wish to just lie in my bed.. dex's cousin texted me again.. (re: customs broker exam results).. still haven't seen it.. actually, just depending on a few friends i've texted (those residing at manila) that if they happen to pass by PRC, to look at the results for me.. anywayz.. will continue reading A Little Princess..

System Time: 6:05 PM
.. *teary-eyed*
..Indian gentleman already discovered that she is the girl they have been looking for.. hehe.. kaiyak LoL.. anywayz.. look at the time.. bye all!

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

...just got home.. decided to go malling inspite of the rain.. good news though, was able to buy earphone extension! yes.. my poor back has been bothering me since i've been stooping just to put on my earphones..

..well.. gudnayt all!

p.s. late pala ako kanina! 8:17 a.m. grrr
System Time: 5:45 PM <--woaH.
... been programming the whole day (YeS!) ..finished it (with some help from opismeyts) at around 4:30 pm.. hope there's a new one tomorrow.. just love it when time speeds up.. will probably do some 'extensive' testing tomorrow if no new template comes up..
...don't feel like going home early today.. but it's raining hard so i guess i'll just hafto..don't want to get stranded or something like that... you know why i want to go home late? so that i'll be so tired that i'll just eat my dinner and then directly go to sleep.. so that i won't be able to go online.. think i'm starting to give in.. (HINDI PWEDE)..actually.. he's been really QUITE irritating.. 'cause he's telling EVERYONE that i'm angry with him.. even my HS friend Jing asked me.." oh,galit ka daw kay ***?".. i was like.. "nyeh. pano nakarating sayo yun?".. turns out she and pangs had chatted at IRC and he told her.. kabwiset.. everyONE keeps asking me "bakit ka galit sa kanya".. grrrrr. if i wasn't angry then, i'm angry now! parang pinagmamalaki puh nya uh. gaaH!

*erases from memory*

5:56 PM na. hay. sa bagay ok din na umuwi na ako kasi saket ng likod ko e. tumatanda na talaga ako LoL.

bye all!

Monday, November 04, 2002

System Time: 8:01 AM
..November na.

..Work day. *long sigh*

..been sorting my "schedule" for the day while in the shower..
1. really, really finish the rest of my sql scripts (about 3)
2. test existing scripts
3. enter test data in table (for me to do item # 2) all i have to do is stick to my scheduled activities for the day..

..Ate Ging's going to Malaysia again today.. she'll be staying there for another month.. roommate-less again.. been pestering my dad to buy a double decked bed.. ours actually is one, but we separated it since the lower bunk's post splitted to half... (bed's made of wood) our room's actually kinda big.. if we have a double-decked bed we'd be able to put a billiards table in it.. hehe.. problem is we wouldn't be able to fit it through our door..


..still feeling heavy-eyed though i slept early last night at around 11 pm.. ay ay i remember.. hafta congratulate myself... still not talking to x-pangs.. (yeS!) almost, almost "weebeeD" him at #sanbeda.. just when i was about to type the words he disconnected... (:bleh) fate stepped in when my resolution was weakening..LoL
..have now added an additional guideline when online.. "if i'm not talking to anyone or just staring at IRC while he's online.. disconnect at once! as in click-d-mader-paking lightning icon..'cause if i talk to him while i'm not yet ready.. it'll just be a fucking cycle.. apektado pa nga ako sa IDENT nya e! lalo na pag sini-seen nya yun.. landeeh talaga.. meh gf na kung cno² pa hinahanap.. kung cno² pa tinatawagan.. GAAAAHHHHHHHH! *angry phase parin* actually, i'm on the "i'm-not-sure-if-i'm-angry-at -him-or-at-myself-phase" maybe i'm just plain angry. gaaaH! i would give anything just for me to feel NoTHinG. still haven't figured out why i'm even freaking writing about him here.. why i'm still so fucking affected. he lied to me about having a gf. so what!?? (feels sooooo sad just writing this) hay. so wat talaga dapat. instead, i go "waaaaaaaaaaaat?" in my mind.. tsk tsk tsk. i'm fucking hopeless.

and 9:06 am PA LANG. demmit. first thought when i woke up: "ang layo puh ng 6 pm".. was thinking of 6 pm at 5:30 in the morning..*sighs*
.. is my mom's birthday today.. forgot to greet her so i called at our house from the office.. think my mom's 56ish.. or 55ish.. will ask later..

System Time: 9:46 AM
...maybe i should really quit appetite's been really close to non-existent.. and everyone's been saying that i've lost weight.. (howdpakdatispossible, can't say)..
..only 180+ passed the Customs board exam..out of (1800+) i've searched for the complete list in the net but it's just NOT there!.. the closest i got was at but they only had the top 10 people.. (got the url for PRC but i don't think the site still exists 'cause i always get this "page cannot be displayed" thing) hay. i've got a feeling that momi didn't pass 'cause i think he might've shared the good news with me, right? pero sanaaaa talaga kasama sya sa pumasa. i know it's sooo important for him..

System Time: 10:45 AM so sleypi -_- LOTR can be sooooo dragging.. hu-humm..

..ate cHa! musta ka na? long time no tok :( .. di ka na rin nagboblog huhuhu.. kakatamad din siguro magblog ano? actually.. pansin mo buh pag nasa bahay ako walang wenta mga blog ko.. dito lang sa office yung 'medyo' meh storya.. dito kasi sa office.. either magblog ako or matulog e.. hehe..

..if i could, then i would.. i'd go wherever you will go.. way up high, or down low.. i'll go wherever you will go...if i could make you mine.. i'll go wherever you will go..

..still not getting tired of this song.. presently listening to the acoustic version..

The Kid's been helping me stay awake.. katxt ko ngayon.. buti nga nakakausap ko ulit sya e.. hay. saket ng likod ko. *strets-strets*

wonder what my batchmates are doing... they all seem so busy and awake.. notice that i still haven't done my supposed schedule for today.. staring at my monitor has really become my favorite hobby..

System Time: 11:46 A.M.
..tried switching from LOTR to book 2 of HP.. still fell asleep after a couple of paragraphs.. tagal ng lunch time uh.. feels as if the time isn't moving.. 15 minutes to go parin! i'll read my previous blogs again.. they can be really entertaining.. LoL.. especially my melodramatic entries.. maybe i could copy my archives later in a word document during lunch break... kasiii bat buh walang internet sa workstations namen.. kainish..
... think i've memorized book 2 of HP already.. especially the first few chapters.. wooHoo Chamber of Secrets will be showing on Nov. 13! i'm so excited for that.. haven't even looked at Toy stores for HP stuff.. my "HP Shrine" kinda needs restocking.. (not to mention, dusting)..
..wooHoo.. was able to copy my posted blogs at Chipper's workstation.. his PC is connected.. demmit.. anywayz.. will have lots to read later.. lunchtime!

System Time: 2:47 PM
..been reading past blogs.. wasn't able to download the June entries.. will download it later... reading my past blogs kinda entertains me.. (weird, eh?).. 'cause i can be so o.a. hehe (a perfect example is today's blog).. actually.. it's nice to recall my jobless days till the present i-hate-work-days.. how i would talk about PC and pangs almost non-stop.. i myself get confused as to whom i was referring to.. lol.. this blog really started with PC.. think i even cried on the phone while talking to pangs about him.. (X-PANGS NGA PALA) actually, i cry EVERY TIME i make wento about him.. tsk. getting rejected does that to you.

System Time: 5:25 PM
copied most of my blog to this Word document.. having a blast (?) just reading them.. especially my first few work days.. excited na excited ampootah.. LoL.. actually, enjoy naman talaga dati kasi laging busy.. kasi puro training.. anywayz, we've been given new templates to work on.. Sir Herbert said they'll be quite difficult so i'm looking forward to that.. any work's welcome...nahihirapan na akong magpanggap pahaba ng pahaba tuloy blog ko..

kaChat ko nga pala si "bal" kagabi...(kaya ok lang khet ol si pangs.. ndi ako idle hehe) 'la lang.. seryoso ang kwentuhan e.. dinadaan ko lang sa "L o L" tsaka sa "HeHe"..sabi ko nga sa panahon ngayon, bawal magseryoso!.. mauURat ka lang..

yes 5:40 na! didn't do ANY of my "scheduled activities".. ok lang.. Sir Herbert said to not finish the scripts, anywayz.. so that we could do the new templates assigned to us.. will read some more previous blogs then log out.. bye all!

Sunday, November 03, 2002

Monday na bukas. HuHuHuHuHuHuHuHu

...still not talking to pangs.. the minute i've stopped caring for him.. that's the time that i'll start talking to him again.. the time when i won't give a fuck.. i've got this programmed in my mind.. hope it doesn't encounter any bugs.. hehe
... as usual, when i'm making iwas to something.. i turn to my site.. i'm gonna continue making the class libraries.. (wwaaaaaaatttttt, it's still not finished?) have been postponing it for quite some time..

..hay Monday na bukas! yaiks!..

yaiks ulit!

...we did our usual nov 1-2 routine.. 1 at loyola and 2 at himlayang... naging nognog lang ulit ako.. :p

la ko mawento. bukas sa office.. magpapanggap ulit ako e.. hehe bye!

Thursday, October 31, 2002

haaaaayyyyyy sarap maligo.

got home at around 7 am. ayush ang Halloween party ng #cfad! success!! /me congrats sa kanila! daming food, daming booze, daming tao! naihila ko nga si Koji e.. ako na lang naiwang babae dun around 5 am.. tas sumabay na ako keh peri pauwi..

ayush! dami kong nakiss BWAHAHAHAH! ayush talaga pag lasheng na mga tao... LOL! anywayz.. ayun.. naiwan ako mag-isa dito sa bahay ngayon kasi 'di ako makabangon kanina nung umalis sila.. sobraaaaaaang antok puh ako.. nagising nga lang ako dahil nag ring at nagring yung telephone 'tas para lang naman sa kapatid ko.. tsk.. di puh ako kumakain haha.. kain lng muna..
my post yesterday: Wednesday, October 30, 2002

System Time: 8:47 AM
can't even begin to imagine how i would start this blog.. can't even sort out my own feelings.. shouldn't really matter, you know.. it's the fact that he didn't tell me that bothers me the most.. it's as if he intentionally lied to me...i was like playing in a game in which the rules were held back from me.. so i played without limits.. freely..without apprehension.. it's unfair.. 'cause if i knew from the start,.. if i knew the rules of the game.. i could have played things differently.. with caution.. 'cause i knew i needed to be careful not to break the rules...he said that was the reason why he didn't tell me.. that i might change how i played the game... yes,.. it is true that i would have altered my ways.. but it doesn't matter 'cause i would have still played the game.. i woudn't leave.. i would've still been there for him...'s also the manner he told me.. like he was really guilty of something.. he kept on saying he was sorry.. and he kept on asking me if i was angry at him.. i could honestly tell him that i wasn't.. i wasn't feeling that.. i felt.. hmm.. dunno what i felt.. but i wasn't angry.. i think i was.... disappointed.. and hurt.. i'm still figuring out why i'm feeling those things..

.. pangs haS a gf. right from the start he had one and he conveniently excluded that in our conversations...

i need a hug.

right before that.. he even asked me where i was yesterday.. and that he missed me.. tsk. guys. they're all the same.

when he told me he was sorry... i said.. it was ok.. we're friends and it shouldn't matter.,just wished he told me from the start. then i wouldn't be breaking my #1 GUIDELINE. fuck. now i'm left with all these emotions inside me.. making me feel nauseous and enervated..

System Time: 11:33 AM
... it should be obvious, of course.. there could only be one reason why i'm feeling like this.. i love him. but how could that be possible? can you love two people at the same time? i'm so fucking confused. i'm confused at these emotions i'm feeling. maybe it isn't love. i don't know what it is..., yet. maybe it's because i felt betrayed or something like that..hay. naH. it isn't that. i'm just plain confused.

...i've got to figure out what to do.. first of all, i have to put a name on this emotion i'm feeling... and the reason for it.. and for me to do that is to stay away from him.. i know i can't stay away forever.. he's affected me so much already.. but for now, i have to put things in order.. maybe i'm just experiencing some sort of system malfunction.. time will tell.. and that's what i need.. just time and space from him..

i'm sure this may seem trivial to anyone else...i'll probably laugh this off after some time.. but i'm sure everyone had felt in some part of their life of missing someone when a day has passed and you haven't conversed..felt as if this someone is the only one who truly understood you.. that you connected in some level higher than friendship.. though you're not committed to each's okay.. 'cause you're both free.. free to play the game..

i suck at this game. i really do.

it's not for's for emotionless people and no matter how hard i try.. i'll never be like that..WHEN will i ever learn?

System Time: 1:29 PM
...will be going at #CFAD's halloween party later.. better to drown my miseries away.. (wonder how many bottles of beer will it take.. hmm)

..presently listening to Goo Goo Dolls - Here is Gone..

...i thought i lost you somewhere, but you were never really there at all...

my mp3list consists of fucking sad songs.. Here is Gone, Blurry, Barely Breathing and It's Over now.. just torturing myself by playing them repeatedly.. actually.. songs really uplift my spirit..i mean i feel as if i'm not alone and somebody else had experienced what i'm feeling that's why they're singing about it.. to help other people like me who could relate to whatever they've experienced.. song..

...can you take it all away, when you shoved it in my face ..this pain you gave to me...

hay. Neither Eboy nor Mel can go with me at the party. hay ok lang. i'll still go for the booze. and "rule #1 when depressed":
don't make it worse by making mukmok.

me and my rules. as if i follow them.

System Time: 3:03 PM
.. bait naman ako, dibuh. (here goes the self-pity phase)
..what's with me and haliparot guys? it's as if i have this sign hanging in my neck saying "pick me. i'm gullible."
..maybe it's me. do i constantly over-analyze every action they make? do i give meaning to everything they say when it really shouldn't be given any importance at all? i don't. i really don't. i've learned this already. i DON'T! but Pangs was.. he was.. (fuck i'm going to say it).. i THOUGHT HE WAS FUCKING DIFFERENT. fuck. fuck. fuck.

he can be so fucking convincing.
"ate na-miss kita"
pak MURET!

ok. i think i'm getting angry now. this is a good sign. ^_^ if only i could get through all the phases in just one day.. (shocked part, hurt part, self-pity part, angry part, moving on part) i'm such a cry-baby puh naman.

System Time: 4:57 PM
..k8tee's going. yes. meh kasama na kong gurl at "ka-batch" sa IRC.. sana payagan din syang dun matulog...

..sayang talaga 'di pwede sila eboy and mel.. tsk.

Here is Gone parin pinapakinggan ko.

...and i wanted to be.. all you need.. somehow here is gone..

sad sad song.

i'm going to talk about him again. fuck. after he told me that.. it took me a while for it to sink in.. then i was able to mumble..

"tulog na ko kuyuh. cge."
"sorry ate"
"sorry ate"
/me hangs up.
/me stares at lampshade in our living room.
/me goes back to bed.
/me closes eyes tightly while mumbling..
"bawal umiyak.."
/me cries anyway.

/me turo sarili "IYAKIN!"

when i woke up.. my sister said (ate Chary)

"ano yan! *looks at my eyes
" nakagat ka buh ng ipis!?"
me: "nyeh. puyat lang."
/me turns away.

hay. iyakin talaga. tsk.

gusto ko nang uminommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!

tama na yan, INUMAN NA!!

chet. 5:22 pa lng. more than 30 minutes to go.
...better find something to do other than stare at my monitor..

System Time: 5:48 PM
..been reading LOTR... (again).. forgot to bring a disk.. good thing Chipper brought 6..(he copied this mp3 he liked to his HD).. will just stare at my monitor now.. bye.

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

System Time: 10:47 AM
...tagal ng 6 pm!

what i've been doing for the past 2 hours:
1. finished 1 report
2. read some LOTR
3. stared at my monitor
4. more staring
5. moooree staring

actually, i still have a couple of reports to do.. (i think i've been saying this for the past few work days.. ) still haven't finished them... i'm pacing myself, you know.. so that i'll still have some work left for tomorrow.. (HeHe)..

my sister, Ate Chary just called.. she's going to this party tonight (uh-oh) at Libis and she's asking me how i got this taxi go inside our village.. taxi drivers usually don't go that you could just imagine how far our village is from the "city"... maybe i was lucky that night.. just added a few bucks to compensate the distance.. (that was when we went to The Podium and Eboy slept over).. anywayz, before that Ate Chary told me about a guy she met last Friday.. and that same guy is supposedly going to this party again..she's worried that our folks won't allow her.. you see, considering the fact that our house is poorly situated, (as i would like to put it..) my folks are pretty touchy when it comes to going home late at night.. even my sister who's 29 years old (tanda na!) still has a hard time getting their permission.. i told her i'll talk to mom and dad.. (in short, susuportahan ko sya).. this is an opportunity that mustn't be missed!! (she's such a Bridget Jones fan).. Ate chary is a member (may even be an officer, lol) of the NBSB club.. (No Boyfriend Since Birth).. yep, she's 29.. not that she's not pretty.. she is! she looks a little like Dawn Zulueta.. (hope she doesn't read this.. ewww.. my reputation might get tarnished as the "BrattySister") she had a few suitors.. but the guys usually have the 3 P's.. Pandak, Poor and Panget.. lol!.. she even has this Rainier guy calling her almost everyday.. I asked her if she met this guy already and how he looked like.. my sister said.. "Mabait talaga siya.." hahaha! i said to my sister.. "La ka ng panahon maging mabait!" .. i was only (half) joking of course.. so if anyone who's reading this know of someone of good height, average looks, proper wealth and is above 29 years old.. please tell me! we'll arrange for him to have a date with my!

hay.. look who's talking, noh? as if my relationship with dexf is somewhere near perfect.. (or normal).. anywayz.. GL to Ate Chary!

..wasn't able to go online last night.. 'te Chary was using the PC.. fell asleep right after watching Charmed.. when i woke up this morning.. i kept on reminding myself of guideline #1 on crushes.. "bawal mag-emote!"
....Pangs has stopped becoming my last call for the day kasi.. dami kasing chix pinalitan na ko..
....di man lang ako nami-miss..
my evil twin is doing the typing, okay? don't mind her! she's talking nonsense.. fuck. ang weird ko. LOL!

next please.

*thinks of other stuff*

i hafta find a buyer for my laptop! ano buhh hanggang ngayon 'di ko puh nabebenta.. i'll double my efforts (what effort?), i promise.. i'll send an ad everyday at Buy and Sell (the newspaper) and ask more people about it.. Ate Ging brought home this mag she bought at Malaysia.. it's full of techie gadgets.. (kaka-lula) new phones, PDAs and an article about game consoles.. been pouring myself over reviews whether to buy Xbox or PS2.. but i still don't have enough money to buy one! demmit! 'di naman ako nag-iipon.. pano nga naman ako magkakapera!? *wapaks sarili*

..uh-oh.. my batchmates are being called by Ma'am Belle (sis and supervisor) one by one.. Chipper just told me through net send that he received a verbal warning regarding his tardiness.. Koji's the one talking to Ma'am now, (nyirks baka sunod na ko).. i don't recall being late this month, but i did have a couple of absences (dibuh?)..
chet. onga pala. baka for last month yun.. i think i had a couple of lates last cut-off.. i did have 29 pesos deducted from me for uTT.. hmmm....
chet. si Froi na tinawag. *thud, thud*
chet. 'di naman mashado late si Froi uh!? mas marami pa kong late dun e.. ngirkssss. tsaka bat ang tagal ng usapan! parang tag-10 minutes bawat isa. nyahhhh!
hmm.. di ako tinawag.. baka dahil 12 pm na e.. LoL! pero bumalik na si Froi..

System Time: 1:17 PM
..ha! Ma'am Belle didn't have "The Talk" with me.. my batchmates all told me that it was only about their tardiness.. plus sermon stuff like "what if asa client kayo, blah blah.."
...uh-oh.. it's the twilight hour.. @_@ .. hafta switch to dance mp3s..

presently listening to Pink - Get this Party Started

*struts sa utak*

.... i'mmmmmmmm coming up so you better get this party started

ay ganda nito.. The Lovebite - Side by Side.. dance music din.. ! diniskette ni Chipper.. 6 na disc lolz.. eka.. babasa lang ulit ako ng LOTR bago maantok..

System Time: 2:51 PM
.. didn't read LOTR.. felt sleepy just looking at it.. to think i borrowed another book by Tolkien from my sister.. The Silmarillion.. (/me kanta.. mangarap kaaaa) ei.. i finished LOTR! i can read anything i set my mind to! hehe
...opened the pseudo-Thesis Anshe (my thesis partner) made.. i guess i should work on this if i want to get my TOR.. i can't even remember the screen layouts i did.. this project has been with me for some time now, but still haven't started modifying it.. i'll try to start doing this at home.. (where i have a copy of documentation.. can't remember a freaking thing..).. still no TOR but i'm employed you ask? (well.... *eHEm*.. dinadaan ko na lang sa entrance test and interviews lol) my HD crashed and in it were 200+ mp3 files and our Thesis. HUHUHUHU. i cried that day when that happened. i was so stupid.. i usually back up our thesis at a separate HD.. i must've deleted it to free some space for more mp3s.. yan!!! nawala tuloy HUHHUHUH. (this occured summer of 2001, i think) Don't get me wrong, we've got our grade and everything...(graduate na ko noh! lol) but our prof. (BWISET) insisted that our thesis should be in a deployable CD for them to release our TOR and Diploma..ayun.. khet anong pakiusap ko ayaw talaga pumayag na wag na lang.. hayy.. bahala sya.. 'di tuloy ako nakakaapply sa malalaking company.. kasi hingi kagad TOR.. anywayz.. after my stint here at Radix (kung 'ndi ako tumopak at magpasisante), 3 years programming experience na ko nun.. woah.. (tanda ko na!) so malamang 'ndi na rin ako hihingan ng TOR.. pero gawin ko parin kasi, wala lang.. para naman meh Diploma ako! (and for Anshe syempre)

System Time: 3:51 PM
... read some previous blogs.. read again the unsent letter to PC (aka #1; Spidey).. revised it.. (again).. still don't know if i'll send it...i mean, if i send it.. i'll be expecting some sort of response and i'll only get disappointed when i don't get any... kaya, STOP EMOTING DEMMIT.

System Time: 5:05 PM
.. yes. 1 hour to go... bowling kami mamaya ng ipismeyts.. then i'll meet ate Ging at powerbooks afterwards... we'll start looking at drum sets..

System Time: 5:45 PM
..been reading previous blogs again.. i'm such a liar (LoL!).. saying stuff like, "this is the last time ek ek.. never again ek ek" and then take back the stuff i'd said the following day.. gaaaH!
...just waiting for 6 pm.. hayy.. just one more day.. then 4-day rest na!..
..6 na.. bye!
my blog yesterday: Monday, October 28, 2002

System Time: 9:03 A.M.
... presently listening to this old song.. Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know..
ohhh loveeeeee, don't let me be the last to knowwww.. if that is true, then tell me so.. i wanna hear it come from you..
my mp3list for today consists of old senti songs.. was very early for work... 7:25 am.. woah...didn't have the usual Monday-Mishaps.. (TG).. but i still felt sleepy when i arrived so i slept on my desk till 8:03 am.. woke up at the sound of my batchmates' voices.. *wapaks d two op dem* (si Koji absent.. naconfine ermats nya)'s gonna be a short working week.. (Hurrah!) Oct. 31 has been declared a legal holiday and already i feel so restless and impatient for the long weekend rest... my family didn't make any out-of-town plans.. just our usual going-to-cemetery thing on Nov. 1 and 2.. i actually just want to sleep for more than 8 hours... been sleeping for less than 5 on weekdays.. (irc paren hehe)
... dex's cousin just texted me..i quote.. "hi! musta my blta nba s board nnyo? pls tel me naman kc c dx umuwi n s cbu. ate"

board namen? nakng. LOL. that was probably what he told them when they asked who i was.. anywayz.. no problem there.. just told his couz that i have no news yet and will text her as soon as i see the results.. she also said that Dex might've arrived today at Cebu around 6:30 am.. he took a carrier last Saturday.. tagal din pala pag by barko..


ei.. gud news.. (i think).. #3 and i are chatmeyts again.. nademote tuloy sya..( pero pwede rin nating i-akyat sa #2 LoL!) anywayz, he's "the Kid"... him and #4 (ohmahgod.. 4!?? the resurrection!) are the main reasons why i'm sleeping late again.. just catching up in kwentuhan.. (oi ate cHa.. prendli prends lng! hehe) MEH MOMI NA KO yep.. pero doesn't mean that i'll stop talking to other people and make mukmok right? i've learned my lesson and i'll just try to go on with my life (AGAIN).. i'll just stop the emoting part hehe.. but there's one thing that i promised Dex..that no matter what happens.. i'll always be his... seryoso namen, noh? we talk about the future sometimes.. and it'll always look kinda bleak for us.. and it's the commitment we made to each other that makes us sane.. that regardless of how long it'll take us, plus the enumerable issues we have to face.. we'll still end up together..

*grabe na tohhh..*

osha tama na drama. break time muna. bRb!

System Time: 11:37 AM
next topic.

si #4 na lang haha. naguusap ulit kami sa IRC.. pansin nyo buh.. yung mga meh rank or number puro chatter?.. (si dex 'lang rank kasi di ko na sha kinoconsider as "chatter" category.. IRL na YEhey! lol!) anywayz.. i know i've mentioned #4 before.. at my previous blogs.. let's just call him Bal.. short for balloon.. in tagalog, Lobo.. in English.. hehehehe sekwet.. (gets nyo na buh kung cno sya? lol)..crush ko yun e.. katuwa kasi sya.. nung nakita ko sa EB.. ang haba na nung buhok! gulat ako e.. 'cause last time i saw him, naka-skinhead sya.. but that was June/July puh ata.. mas bagay sa kanyang kalbo.. :รพ

lahat ng mga crush ko machix talaga.. si #1 lang yung wala.. i mean, kung meron man.. 'ndi sya nagkukwento saken about them.. (kaya sya ang tunay na #1 LOL!) musta na kaya yun.. hmm.. okay lng naman dibuh.. crush lang e! (defensive?) basta.. meh 2 "guidelines" na ako when it comes to crushes..
1. bawal mag-emote tungkol sa kanila
2. pwede magpantasya LOL *pwedeeeeeeee*

ok, ok.. yung #1 lagi kong naviviolate pero simula ngayon (oo, ngayon) talagang isasapuso ko na yang #1. (yung guideline uh, ndi si Spidey LOL) mega-emote ako e.. lalo na keh #1(Spidey) tsaka #2 (Pangs).. hmpft. 'di na ngayon. (walang kokontra!)
si Pangs malapit ng mawala sa listahan yan..dami ng mashadong chix e.. 'ndi ako nagkakacrush sa malandeeeeeeH LOL!

System Time: 2:19 PM
...just received my payslip.. laki ng uTT ko! (undertime and tardiness :bleh.. bastush ng esep).. nothing compared to my batchmates', though.. their uTTs are bigger (hihi)..

..woah. spacing out again. *_* antuk!

System Time: 3:26 PM
...brrr lamig.. hirap talagang magpanggap!actually nagawa na ni Froi yung problema ko sa SQL.. yahoo! kaya kokopyahin ko na lng hehe.. so sana matapos ko yung reports bago magThursday.. pero bukas ko na sisimulan.. *tamad talaga* iniisip ko talaga.. baka pinipilit ko lang sarili kong magprogram.. i mean.. marunong ako,sure.. pero yung eexcel?.. mageexcel ka lang sa bagay pag hilig mo sya.. ako naman.. is.. okay lang.. yun ang work ko kasi 1. alam ko kaya ko.. 2. yun ang pinag-aralan ko e.. sayang naman kung 'ndi ko sya gagamitin sa work.. pero gusto ko talaga magsariling business na.. para walang boss².. kaya lang lahat ng maisip kong business, ang gastos! kelangan ng MILYON² LOL!

meh 5-year plan nga kami ng mga kabarkada ko nung college.. tatayo kami club/restaurant.. (pero 4-years na lang.. lumipas na 1 taon e.. fatayyyy) kelangan namen talaga ng pondo.. basta meh plano ako kung pano kami magkakapuhunan..sekreto muna.. basta.. tungkol sya sa mga itik! (HEHEHEHE)

System Time: 6:08 PM
gtg! bye!

Saturday, October 26, 2002

went to #cfad's eb.. daming bago.. kilala ko lang syempre is yung #ust people.. anywayz.. really sleepy na.. nite all!
hay mga opismeyt kong OLATS! LOL!

talagang gumising puh ako ng maaga para mag-ayos ng kwarto... taena antok na antok ako pinilit kong bumangon.. tapos 'ndi pala pwede yung 2! ano buh yun! di man lng sinabi nung nag-usapan kami kahapon! haaayyyy

ako pa naman yung tipong pag nagising na.. di na bumabalik sa kama.. ay nood na lang ako pirated dvd hehe...

kagabi nga pala nakausap ko si momi.. uwi na daw sya ngayon. hay. babay.

kagabi nanlibre si irvie. saya hehe. sa tawa pa lang nabusog na ako.

hay umagang umaga talaga. sabado at gising ako ng 8 am. chet.

jebs muna babay! lol!
this was my post yesterday, Friday, October 25, 2002:

System Time: 9:46 AM
...ok.. i think i'm calmer now. all i needed was some sleep...
...pangs called me this morning.. around 6:30 am.. at first i thought he was the "hiphap guy".. 'cause right after i answered the phone and said "hello", he said "okey ka na?" in a voice that really resembled "hiphap guy".. but i recognized that it was him when he continued talking... even if i'd never told him.. i really do appreciate his calling me and asking me how i'm doing.. it makes my day, truly... just knowing somebody cares...

on the other hand...

naman momi.. mukhang uuwi na lang talaga ng 'ndi man lang magpapaalam..
'till now, he hasn't contacted me.. i know that he's leaving TODAY...

just a freaking cycle.

these are the main reasons why i don't do recons!..
1. the cause of a couple's break up (whatever/whoever it may be) still exists.
in our case.. the distance is still their.
2. it's very difficult for people to change.
i'm STILL the one who finds a way for us to talk or see each other. EFFORT lang sows.
3. and of course, HE HAD HIS CHANCE DEMMIT!
'la ng 2nd 2nd chance puh noh.

... and i threw all my 'standardz' away for him. first time i reconciliated with an ex... if my life was a movie, the title would be.. "You Had Me at 'momi' " .. narinig ko lang yung "momi.." ayun, natorete na naman.
'tas ngayon rekla-reklamo ako.
sabi ko nga i'll just have my one last(kuno) cry and try moving on na naman. kelan kaya ako matututo? (Soundtrack ng movie ko.."Di na natuto" by Gary V.)

System Time: 11:31 AM
...good thing i'll be going out tonight.. no time to make mukmok in our house.. irvie's birthday blowout..(the one which i asked her to move for today because ... grrrrrr naalala ko na naman) speaking of irvie.. hafta remember to buy her a present before meeting them.. hmm.. noh buh maganda..

System Time: 1:46 PM
... just got back from our lunch break.. we're late, of course..nyerkz feeling bossing... ate at Shangri-la.. back at Infostructure, it's really ok for us to go back to the office past 1 pm.. but here at Radix, is another story.. that's the thing that i really miss.. Info's very lenient when it comes to breaks.. they don't care as long as a client doesn't look for i had a flexi-time sched there so i never had a single late..

System Time: 2:09 PM
hay pak. i'm so sleypi again. presently staring at the pepsi bottle i bought.. (ok, so technically it's not a bottle but a hard plastic container).. it's blue. i mean the soda itself is blue. cool. gonna show it to my mother when i get home.. L O L! ay ay i remember.. just saw Ryan (ISM classmeyt) at Shangri-la.. saw his new gf.. bilib talaga ako dun.. i mean, ndi naman sya gwapo.. pero galing pumili ng gf hehe.. anywayz.. it's so nice to see any of my classmates.. i miss them... you know how each class has separate barkada groups? in ISM, it doesn't matter which barkada group you belong to.. we can hang out to any other barkada group we want.. 'cause we're just like one big family, really... that's extremely rare especially on block sections where some groups are feeling "high-end" and groups are classified as "d popular kids" or "bleh kind" (actually ganon ako nung hs haha.. nagbago na ko uh.. pakabait na ko)
..making friends has never been really a problem for reason perhaps is i've never been the "new kid" who had to exert effort to fit in.. was a scholastican since first grade.. at UST, i didn't have a single scholastican blockmate but it was ok 'cause everybody's kinda new so we're all sort of starting on the same level... i consider myself extremely lucky 'cause i've had great classmates.. from pre-com years 'till ISM time.. can't even say which class was more fun 'cause each had it's own stories to tell and "misadventures" that can win the "wala kayo sa klase namen..." bragging awards. if i really , really, really (lol) had to choose one, ISM may have the edge 'cause we still keep in touch and go out 'till now.. on december 15, in fact, we plan on going to caleruega again.. *excited for that*..

System Time: 3:55 PM
...presently listening to.. I'd still say yes.. it's all this song's fault!
... 'cause it'd still say yes, to you again.. my darling for you i'll do it all again.. yes, i'd still say yes to you again.. daaarling for you, i'll do it over and over again....

..|.. pak dat shit.

System Time: 4:23 PM
... yes. lapit na uwian... still have no idea what gift i'll buy for irvie...can't believe i didn't do a single work-related thing today..

System Time: 5:05 PM
gtg now! bye!

Thursday, October 24, 2002

hay. hay bohay. bwiset.

wala.. hindi sya pumunta. sabi ko na nga buh...tulog daw sabi ng cousin nya.

tapos nung tumawag saken si pangs... basta kwento-kwento.. tapos basta ewan ko kung pano napunta yung usapan.. dami daw nya lakad.. meh family daw pang pupuntahan.. edi tanong naman ako kung cno sa kapatid nya ang may family day sa school.. kapatid daw ng friend nya.. parang asa isip ko.. *nYeHHH*.. ka-family buh nya yun.. kaibagan DAW .. sows.

AT BAKIT AKO NAGEEMOTE SA KANYA! sabi nga ni ate cha... "meh momi ka na, emote ka pa dyan sa iba"

ewan ko buh.
di ko rin alam.
normal lang ba ang magselos sa taong wala ka namang karapatang magselos? (tama buh tagalog ko.. ah basta yun na yun)
lang kwentang buhay toh!

System Time: 8:56 PM
...gud mawnin! been listening to the same song since yesterday... The Company - You changed my life in a moment.. it's an old song but i never had a p3 of it 'till now.. changed my life in a moment and i'll never be the same changed my life in a moment and it's hard for me to understand, with a touch of your hand, in a moment of time..all my sorrow is gone


have no idea whether dex will drop by our house today.. must have cancelled 2 other engagements just in case he goes..
1. was irvie's birthday yesterday, supposed birthday *free* dinner is today.. had to ask her to move it for tomorrow.. hehe demanding ano lolz .. BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRVIE!!!
2. ma'am tabora's father died.. we were supposed to go to the wake today

...why do i get the feeling that i'll just be staying at our house tonight by myself? ..'cause even if dex does decide to go...(he planned on going after lunch) he might not find my folks at home..

me: "alis ka mommy bukas?"
mommy: "malamang.. dun sa bazaar nila Tita Feny"
me: "sa friday na lang kaw pumunta"
mommy: "last day bukas e"
me: "nyeks"
mommy: "bakit?"
me: "dibuh sabi ko baka pumunta si dex"
mommy: "la syang maabutan dito"
me: *di alam kung ano irereak* lol!

...wonder how dex is doing in his board exam.. it's his last day today.. uwi na daw sya sa 25..*sighs*.. this is what you call.. fleeting happiness.. right from the start, i knew that this *joy* i was feeling would only be short-lived.. i mean i thought i had prepared myself emotionally when he leaves manila(and me huhuhu).. it still scares the shit out of me... waah momiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

System Time: 10:47 AM
.. just thought of a really really good song to play! Paano! originally sung by Gary V. but was revived (brialliantly, if i may say so) by freestyle and janno gibbs making it a duet.. extremely nice.. (two thumbs up sign)
.. oh yakaaaaap, yakap ko siya dahil luha'y, dagling dadaloy ngunit paano.. pano ko sasabihin ito...

System Time: 3:08 PM
..have no idea how i would do the rest of the reports.. pak i feel so bobo.. so basically i've been doing... nothing for the past 1 1/2 hours.. hehe.. ay ay! i've been sending "graphic" messages thru 'net send' at my batchmates..

System Time: 5:13 PM
.. pak.. "ur current balance is.. 9 pesos" LOL! can't even call home..
my mother just replied to my text.. she said she's not in the house but my dad is.. hmmmmm.. pumunta kaya si dex... kung pumunta.. pinapasok kaya ng dadi ko!? lol! i forgot to mention that dex has sore eyes! chet wawa momi..san kaya nahawa yun.. hmmmm

System Time: 6:01 PM

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

been too busy at the office to blog anything... doing the (fucking hard) reports...

got a new haircut.. waaah it sucks.. got too short! demmit! *huhuhu*

anywayz.. it's already past 11 so unless i want to be zombie-like tomorrow, i'd hafta sleep already.. nite all!

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

System Time: 2:06 PM
... twilight hour has passed... just lost 6 thousand bucks.. :(
..hehe actually i refunded the tickets i sold.. tsk talaga.. now i find meaning in.. "pera na, naging bato pa.." (or in my case.. papel.. ulit)
...globe just called me (they called everyone who got free tickets) and told me to go to the mYx office on friday and claim a few giveaways.. (pampalubag loob in short)..will probably ask my folks to claim it for me.. (vcd daw ng oasis, etc) first of all, dami ko ng absent. 2nd, ayoko nga baka makita ko pa yung nakaaway ko 'dun.. masabihan puh ko ng.. "buti nga 'sayo" LoL!
...they told us to hold on to our tickets, though.. he said the promoter is still negotiating for a new concert date.. hay..

System Time: 2:54 PM
.. i will NOT sing in our christmas party. yak noh.. pwede buh yokong mapahiya. kasi bat meh presentation pang nalalaman e... all new batches for the year are required to present something on the christmas party.. my batchmates and i decided to like form a band.. and of course, the problem is nobody wants to be the vocalist.. basta HELLO... ayaw ko sows.. ano yon comedy lolz..

System Time: 5:14 PM
supervisor: "anong ginagawa mo geri?"
me: "wala po"
supervisor: *gives me dismayed look*
me: *best sheepish look*


so now, i'm officially given the BULK of the reports.. i'm not yet doing them.. bukas na..presently enjoying the process of choosing the songs that we might play.. so far the list is:

1.savage garden - i knew i loved you
2.vertical horizon - you're a god
3.wheatus - teenage dirtbag
4.eagle eyed cherry - save tonight
5.duncan sheik - barely breathing - don't let me get me

aliw!.. i'm all in favor for #s 1,4,6

we'll probably play 3 songs.. dapat daw medyo matagal presentation e.. layo pa buh december? excited mashado ano.. that was what i pointed out to my officemates.. but we later realized that we'll only be practising during Saturdays so that leaves us only about 5 practice sessions! para naman wak mashadong mapahiya.. ('pro di talaga ako kakanta eksyuuusmeeeee..)

System Time: 5:53 PM
... just waiting for 6 pm.. got loads of stuff to do just delaying them for tomorrow.. i forgot to include Goo goo dolls - here is gone.. such a sad, sad song.. acoustic version is awesome..

System Time: 6:04 PM
gtg ! bye!

Monday, October 21, 2002

System Time: 8:06 AM
delete delete pang nalalaman uh... LOL!

/me hides in a corner

me: "hindi kita matiis kainish"
#2 (reinstated lol): "alam ko naman 'yun e"
me: "bwiset"
#2: "lol"

this was after he kept on mentioning my handle and name... i was already lying in bed when i got up and looked at my IRC and saw it blinking... after staring at my monitor for about 5 minutes...(just reading "zZzLiping snub" being typed over and over) before i could stop myself, i reached for my mouse and slapped his nick once. then it was as if nothing has happened and everything was back to normal. after a few minutes (while i thought i was still talking to him in IRC), the phone rang and it was him.

me: "kausap pa kita, uh"
pangs (lol short for pangarap): "na-dc na ko 'tas tinamad na akong magconnect"

woah. it felt great hearing his voice again. i really am happy i shoved all my nonsense away and talked to him... i could've hugged him if he was with me irl LOL.. he really does know me better than everyone else.. including myself.. he knew all along that i couldn't stay away forever...

hihihihi. i could imagine ate cha's laugh...the one with the blinding effect..

/me tago keh ate cha LoL

my morning wasn't so bad, considering that it's a monday.. actually, i slept pretty well and woke up feeling rested..

it's momi's board exam week. i think i'm more nervous than he is.. /me dasal matindi .. hope all goes well.. waaH.. this is his last week in manila.. we met again last wednesday... we sort of had this "talk"..actually, it was me who was doing all the talking.. i made a big mistake and brought up the past.. so on our way to my house.. he was really quiet.. and it was all about a stupid phone.. *erases from memory* stupid, stupid me...

hay.. sometimes i feel as if he has no idea how much i love him... i truly understand his responsibilities to his family.. all i'm asking is he spare a little time to write once in a while and you know.. just simply make his presence felt.. that isn't asking much, right?

/me hugs momi tightly

System Time: 5:51 PM
..been helping out my batchmates in their programs by testing them.. in short, 'la kong ginagawa.. hehe.. also doing some leftover utilities.. like our report scripts and stuff.. but what i've been really doing is copying p3s! Froi has 3 cds that he copied in his HD.. they're mostly senti stuff but still found some good ones.. like this p3 i'm presently listening.. Stroke 9 - Little Black backpack..
....just don't expect to get your bloody black backpack back

ngek. my sister just called me and told me another bombing has happened.. LRT daw.. she asked me..

sister: "asan ka!?" (frantic voice)
me: "asa office"
sister: "pano ka uuwi?"
me: "bakit?"
sister: "meh sumabog na naman e.. LRT"
me: "ano buh sumabog... Mrt or Lrt?
sister: "LRT"
me: "MRT naman ako e"
sister: "onga, pag mag-bus ka naman delikado rin"
me: "tsambahan naman yun e..malas ko na lang"
sister: "onga hehe"

and with that conversation in mind... i hafta go now.. bye!