Saturday, December 14, 2002

haven't been blogging... usually am very tired and sleepy when i get home from work.. anywayz.. still same work.. same officemates.. been training now for RPG, one of the programming languages you can use on an AS400 machine.. has been pretty interesting.. though my officemates are the main reasons why i'm enjoying the trainings.. they could be quite a riot.. lol!

..just got home batchmates and I have been practicing for our presentation for the office christmas party.. we'll be presenting first (boo-hoo) so the pressure's on us.. gaaah.. just hope we won't screw up.. we've been playing (or at least attempting to) sway.. don't stray.. don't ever go away.. ..i'm playing the drums.. hehe.. we still have another practice tomorrow here at our house.. we don't have any electric guitars or amps so we'll just have to use acoustic guitars.. at least we'll be able to practice the chords and the singing parts..

hmm.. christmas is fast approaching.. and i still haven't bought any gifts for my family.. already bought stuff for my inaanaks.. (i only have two).. hay. SMC na naman! lolz!.. i miss my momi ... if a genie popped up and gave me a wish, i'd wish for us to be together... it makes me so sad when i think of the possibility that we might not meet again.. 'cause i haven't heard a WORD from him ever since he left for Cebu.. hay momi. it's a fucking cycle. -_-

actually.. i don't what's wrong with me.. but there have been some very disturbing thoughts entering my head.. that maybe it's not Dex that i miss perce.. but you know..that i may be just plain missing someone whom i could love and be with.. hmm.. and my thoughts on pangs.. (uh-oh.. not again..).. i think i've figured out and labeled some emotions that i've been feeling these past few weeks.. and ever since knowing what these feelings are, have been doing my best to stop them.. and just block things out... when i find myself thinking about him... or when i'm missing him.. i just STOP and do other stuff.. it's extremely hard.. especially writing this in my blog.. cause the more i write about him.. the more that i know how helpless my situation is.. i'm in love again with someone who doesn't love me back... i'm nothing to him.. when all i want to be is everything for him... tsk tsk tsk.. maybe it's really easy for me to fall for someone.. 'cause i've only met him once for God's sake.. and here i am.. writing an almost entire blog about him.. if he just stopped calling you know,.. i just know that i'll be able to forget him.. time does heal wounds .. but not when the wound keeps on getting scratched and messed with.. if he would just ignore me, give me my one last cry.. then all of my whining and longing will be over... hay. this blog is making me lonely again.

gotta sleep. much to do on d morrow.

no melody can seem to soothe my mind

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