this was my post yesterday, Friday, October 25, 2002:

System Time: 9:46 AM
...ok.. i think i'm calmer now. all i needed was some sleep...
...pangs called me this morning.. around 6:30 am.. at first i thought he was the "hiphap guy".. 'cause right after i answered the phone and said "hello", he said "okey ka na?" in a voice that really resembled "hiphap guy".. but i recognized that it was him when he continued talking... even if i'd never told him.. i really do appreciate his calling me and asking me how i'm doing.. it makes my day, truly... just knowing somebody cares...

on the other hand...

naman momi.. mukhang uuwi na lang talaga ng 'ndi man lang magpapaalam..
'till now, he hasn't contacted me.. i know that he's leaving TODAY...

just a freaking cycle.

these are the main reasons why i don't do recons!..
1. the cause of a couple's break up (whatever/whoever it may be) still exists.
in our case.. the distance is still their.
2. it's very difficult for people to change.
i'm STILL the one who finds a way for us to talk or see each other. EFFORT lang sows.
3. and of course, HE HAD HIS CHANCE DEMMIT!
'la ng 2nd 2nd chance puh noh.

... and i threw all my 'standardz' away for him. first time i reconciliated with an ex... if my life was a movie, the title would be.. "You Had Me at 'momi' " .. narinig ko lang yung "momi.." ayun, natorete na naman.
'tas ngayon rekla-reklamo ako.
sabi ko nga i'll just have my one last(kuno) cry and try moving on na naman. kelan kaya ako matututo? (Soundtrack ng movie ko.."Di na natuto" by Gary V.)

System Time: 11:31 AM
...good thing i'll be going out tonight.. no time to make mukmok in our house.. irvie's birthday blowout..(the one which i asked her to move for today because ... grrrrrr naalala ko na naman) speaking of irvie.. hafta remember to buy her a present before meeting them.. hmm.. noh buh maganda..

System Time: 1:46 PM
... just got back from our lunch break.. we're late, of course..nyerkz feeling bossing... ate at Shangri-la.. back at Infostructure, it's really ok for us to go back to the office past 1 pm.. but here at Radix, is another story.. that's the thing that i really miss.. Info's very lenient when it comes to breaks.. they don't care as long as a client doesn't look for you..plus i had a flexi-time sched there so i never had a single late..

System Time: 2:09 PM
hay pak. i'm so sleypi again. presently staring at the pepsi bottle i bought.. (ok, so technically it's not a bottle but a hard plastic container).. it's blue. i mean the soda itself is blue. cool. gonna show it to my mother when i get home.. L O L! ay ay i remember.. just saw Ryan (ISM classmeyt) at Shangri-la.. saw his new gf.. bilib talaga ako dun.. i mean, ndi naman sya gwapo.. pero galing pumili ng gf hehe.. anywayz.. it's so nice to see any of my classmates.. i miss them... you know how each class has separate barkada groups? in ISM, it doesn't matter which barkada group you belong to.. we can hang out to any other barkada group we want.. 'cause we're just like one big family, really... that's extremely rare especially on block sections where some groups are feeling "high-end" and groups are classified as "d popular kids" or "bleh kind" (actually ganon ako nung hs haha.. nagbago na ko uh.. pakabait na ko)
..making friends has never been really a problem for me..one reason perhaps is i've never been the "new kid" who had to exert effort to fit in.. was a scholastican since first grade.. at UST, i didn't have a single scholastican blockmate but it was ok 'cause everybody's kinda new so we're all sort of starting on the same level... i consider myself extremely lucky 'cause i've had great classmates.. from pre-com years 'till ISM time.. can't even say which class was more fun 'cause each had it's own stories to tell and "misadventures" that can win the "wala kayo sa klase namen..." bragging awards. if i really , really, really (lol) had to choose one, ISM may have the edge 'cause we still keep in touch and go out 'till now.. on december 15, in fact, we plan on going to caleruega again.. *excited for that*..

System Time: 3:55 PM
...presently listening to.. I'd still say yes.. it's all this song's fault!
... 'cause it'd still say yes, to you again.. my darling for you i'll do it all again.. yes, i'd still say yes to you again.. daaarling for you, i'll do it over and over again....

..|.. pak dat shit.

System Time: 4:23 PM
... yes. lapit na uwian... still have no idea what gift i'll buy for irvie...can't believe i didn't do a single work-related thing today..

System Time: 5:05 PM
gtg now! bye!