...manic monday

System Time: 9:52 AM

10 Things I miss the most:
1. my sister's free unlimited internet account
2. leaving my computer connected online so i could continue downloading mp3s
3. being seatmates with my HS classmate, crisel
4. my 11am-3pm schedule when i was in pre-com
5. sleepovers at Chie's house
6. going to caleruega with my ISM classmates
7. jamming in a studio
8. chatting 24/7
9. being debt-free (lol!)
10. my pangs. absent kasi olats!!! MYN!!!

System Time: 11:08 AM
maglulunch tuloy ako mag-isa. how sad. -_-

System Time: 11:41 AM
..meh magpapakain pala dito.. ang tagal, gutom na ko! MYNMP!

last Saturday was Roni's wedding, twas okay..had some good news! Ma'am uy, our Dept chairperson was one of the guests and she happily informed me that i can finally get my diploma and transcript of records! yeyyy! after 3 years! woohoo!

System Time: 12:43 PM
just had lunch. *busog and antok and still missing pangs* he went to our house yesterday and spent the whole saturday with him but i still miss him. =( ang daya, sabi mo kagabi, 12 hours na lang, kikita ulit tayo.. hmpft! hehe jk lang pangs.. pagaling ka /me kiss sa forehead tsaka sa -toot- lol!

nung saturday pala, pinakilala ko si raymond sa mga pinsan ko.. it's the first time i introduced someone to them..they were in Red Box in Gb3 so we went there after the wedding.. la namang comment mga pinsan ko, mashado silang nageenjoy sa videoke at hayok sa mic para magcomment, lol.. (salamat lang daw sa donut! lol)

waaah have sooo much stuff to do, here in work, plus the two websites i'm working on.. clive emailed me again (at least 5 times, i think), sending me the other files to be displayed on the site and other additional instructions (plus an error! grr).. then my deadline with Jul's site (CD Handicrafts) is on october 15.. waaah..it'll be sleepless nights for me again..(at least i can pay my cc bills, lol)

System Time: 1:56 PM
nakanaman sa mp3.. i shuffled some of my mp3s with pangs'.. /me listening to Andy William's Can't Take my Eyes off you.. hehe. kakaantuk -_-

/me clicks the Next button. lol

yan, Incubus.. Make Yourself.. missyupangs *mwahh*

System Time: 2:16 PM
ei, have a new email add that i could actually check here in the office (it isn't blocked by the server).. it's gewi@gawab.com email nyo ko uh! (geWi uh, not geri hehe)

System Time: 2:39 PM
/me sighs

i'm reading jen's letter to raymond.. his ex.. looks like she still doesn't know na kami na.. i'm having the most difficult time reading the email.. maybe 'cause magulo (arrgh. girls. ang gulo) and i have to keep pausing 'cause i feel sick and awful and guilty..and i just want to wring raymond's neck for letting me read this.. what the heck was he thinking? ndi ko maintindihan purpose nya..hirap basahin! i even had to remove my headset 'cause i needed to concentrate on my breathing.. pangatlong beses ko na tong mag pause..

/me hinga na malalim..continue na ko..

System Time: 2:47 PM
..fourth break.. ang haba eh.. *sighs* brb

System Time: 2:53 PM
okay tapos na. (sa wakas)

hmm..i can't exactly describe what i'm feeling right now.. one part of me is trying to understand what she is saying..

anong magbago? anong dapat ibago ni raymond? haaa? anong "your old ways?" ano yun diba? i don't know what she's talking about.. maybe it's too early to say, but so far.. he's perfect.. i love everything about him.. playboy ba? hmm. malay ko. hindi ko ramdam eh, so no comment ako dun. but then, you can really see na mahal nya parin si raymond.. and yun nga lang daw, magbago lang siya.. (that word again) arrgh ewan. baguhin ang ano? hay. but still, there's no way that you'll read that kind of email and not have doubts..that he's treating you like he has treated his past gfs.. that you're not special, just that you're his present gf, yun lang ang difference.. kasi yung mga sinulat ni jen, like mga tipong "ma-charm" lang daw siya and everything..it makes the most secure person insecure.. but you know what,.. i don't care. i'm not some highschool girl who falls in love for the first time and who hasn't realized that not all things have their happy endings..i know the risks and i'm willing to take them..i myself am not promising anything to him..i'm seriously in love with him but i'm still leaving something behind for myself..it's my cushion, my protection, and it took me YEARS to master the art of self-protection..right now, i'm just loving every minute that we spend together..i'm wishing that it'll last forever, but of course, as they say, life's one big mystery and they wouldn't call it that if we could predict what's going to happen to our future, right? i'm just going with the flow and keeping things uncomplicated..

he loves me.. and i love him.. that's that. that's not too difficult to understand, is it not?

/me wapaks pangs. tongks! pero love parin kita!