each time i attend weddings.. i feel a little envious at the newly married couple.. i don't really want to get married yet, but i want the "idea" of it.. that you'll be able to plan for it.. choose your motif, your cake, your gown, your flowers, the songs.. lolz.. hay. and cherry, my college kabarkada who got married this morning, looked really happy. i really hope, with all sincerity that everything goes well for them.

i miss being with momi. maybe it's the after effect of attending a wedding. hay. actually, everytime i see a couple, i feel so frustrated with our situation. i mean, why does everything in my life have to have some sort of complication.. why can't i love someone who lived right next to our house.. or in LUZON for that matter.. >_< it's so unfair. but that's love, i guess. it tests you until you've proven yourself worthy for it.

..have been busy at the office programming the new form..it's a freaking difficult one, my deadline's on tuesday and i have this awful panicky feeling in my chest every time i wake up.. that it's one day less 'til tuesday. wonder how i'll feel when it IS tuesday. perhaps i'll have a heart attack and die, so that i won't need to finish it. LOL. tough luck.

wanna watch What A Girl Wants tomorrow.. erlyn watched it and said that it was good.. but ate chary had already seen it and wants to watch Phonebooth instead. maybe i could convince her to watch it again. HEHE.

..hmm.. think i'm getting dizzy. was supposed to attend another event this night.. jacq, jeff and anna's birthday celebration (ISM classmates).. was too damn lazy to get out of the house after arriving from the wedding.. just watched Click LOL! katawa si Icko, hehe.

i'll try going to sleep now.. bye guys! *big hug for everyone who took time out from their busy scheds to read my blog. how sweet.*

System Time: 9:00 AM
..gud mawnin :) presently enjoying Jars of Clay's version of I Could Sing of your Love forever.. oh i feel like dancing.. it's foolishness i know, but when the world has seen the light, they will dance with joy like we're dancing now..

System Time: 9:49 AM
...had to do some additional modifications.. just hate it when they keep on changing the specs.. it's mainly the client's fault.. gaah.

..will continue reading Anne of Green Gables.. it doesn't make me sleepy anymore.. hehe.. it's quite entertaining actually.. i find Anne amusing with her big words and her wild imagination..

System Time: 10:50 AM
..huhuhu.. possibility of going to Sagada on May 1 looks dismal.. waah. *wapaks Jep n cHe* haaaaaaaaaaay. bad trip.

System Time: 3:52 PM
..waaahh i wanna go somewhere on May 1.. ANYwhere that entails me to be in a bus at least 4 hours, or in a ferry.. or in an airplane.. grrr. kainish.

System Time: 3:57 PM
..think i'm getting dizzy.. >_<

System Time: 4:58 PM
..had free food again.. it's Ma'am doc's birthday today kaya nagpakain siya..meh pancit and ice cream.. (yum²) lessened my dizziness.. maybe because i was hungry before.. lolz..
..been convincing my officemates to go to Cebu with me.. waahaha. asa puh ko. i really want to go but i don't want to go by myself..

System Time: 5:05 PM
..maybe if i imagine myself in cebu hard enough, it'll become real.. (*_*)

System Time: 6:05 PM
..woah.. given a difficult form.. it's due on the 29th..

will log out now.. bye!

System Time: 9:08 AM
..still have nothing to do.. but i did download some more stuff bout writing a novel.. i need ALL the help i could get. i'm stuck on my 6th page..

...dinner last night with cherry and other friends went fine.. finally met her soon-to-be-husband, willy.. (wataname) their wedding's happening this saturday and i still have nothing to wear.. hmm..

System Time: 9:59 AM
..just waiting for break time.. ate ging's going back to Indonesia today.. i'll be roommate-less again.. though i haven't been sleeping in my room for the past few weeks.. it's too fucking hot, even at night.. i sleep at my parent's room, on the couch..

System Time: 5:42 PM
..bilis talaga ng oras pag meh ginagawa.. was given additional specs so i had to revise 7 forms..am now finished ( i think, hehe)..
i wanna go home nuuh.. hmm.. bakit kayuhh..
sek-wet! :bleh

bye all!

System Time: 8:33 AM
... hay. monday. monday sucks. but this particular monday sucks even more because it happened after a 4 day break. katamad. kaantok. basta.. kaka. lol.

..uyy.. ipismeyt badz was able to buy me a Davao shirt. yehey! will be included in my t-shirt collection of philippine provinces hehe. i've already got cebu,(syempre hehe) bacolod, boracay, iloilo, etc.

..presently listening to old collective soul songs.. maybe could infuse some energy into my super-lazy-body.

System Time: 10:03 AM
...break taym.. but nobody's standing up.. gaah. even in the training room, everybody's still inside.. waah.

..currently listening to Pangako.. (yung keh ogie at manilyn, lol) .. have copied it from someone else's shared folder hehe..

System Time: 10:34 AM
..currently listening to Lenny Kravitz - Fly Away..
..i want to get away.. i want to fly awaaayyy.. yeahhh yeah yeahhhhhh
EKK. putol! badtrip naman tong nacopya ko. lol. serves me right for looking at other people's computer. hehe.

/me balik Collective Soul

..uyyy Heavy. reminds me of my old site. my gallery has this song's intro as it's background.
*appreciates stereo headphones*

i had a Collective Soul phase during my senior year in HS. still like them, but i don't listen to them as much as i did when i was in HS. when i say phase, it means that ALL i listened to was that band. that's why i easily recall when a certain song was released.. cause i could always relate the song to memories/events that happened simultaneous to when that song was popular. that's music for me. it's my bestfriend, sympathizing when i'm down.. celebrating with me when i'm happy.. it calms me when i feel suicidal..(LOL! totoo!).. and it taught me how to listen, to appreciate the small details.. to not take things for granted.. to enjoy the present, but to not forget the past. If the boy from the Alchemist learned a lot from the Desert, music has been my teacher, my guide. i could explain further, but then the gratification of understanding what i've just said would lessen. sometimes i would stop anything that i'm doing and just listen to a song that i love and allow the song to embrace me with its melody. that's also the reason why i have such a high respect for musicians.. 'cause they could touch people's lives without actually interacting with them. perhaps that's their Personal Legend. hope i too could realize what mine is.

System Time: 11:37 AM
..punta daw kami Sagada! (kami nila mel, che, plus ibang chatmeyts) sana naman matuloy nuuuhh.. no specific date yet.. pero plan is sa May 1.. siguro aabsent na lang ako sa May 2. (thursday kasi ang May 1)

System Time: 1:40 PM
..demmit. hintay na naman ako ng break taym. la magaaaaawaaaaaaaa. been re-opening some soft copies of books i have in my local.. lahat puro kaantok. trying to read Anne of Green Gables.. but once i start reading it, i feel my eyes closing.. waah di pwede.. got-to stay aweeeyk. @_@
..maybe my mp3list has got something to do with my feeling drowsy.. i have some songs from my "mainstream pop music" folder.. currently listening to Twisted by Keith Sweat..
you know, you want my love.. you've got me twisted over you.. i know i got what you need.. so what you wanna do..

System Time: 4:35 PM
..haba ng blog ko pag la ko ginagawa sa ofis! lol! kung ano ano puh sinasabi ko hehe. onguh pala.. i'll be going to Makati later.. i'm gonna be having dinner with cherry and other pre-com kabarkada.. si cherry yung ikakasal,..di na tuloy yung bridal shower.. dinner na lng daw.. sabi ko nguh sa mga kabarkada ko.. ndi ako papayag na dinner lang pag ako na ang ikakasal hehe.. dapat meh bridal shower talaga ako! lol! wehehe. tagal puh nun.

System Time: 4:46 PM
..hay.. nagpapakabait na talaga ako. i mean, umiiwas na ako sa mga tukso sa paligid..LoL! basta, ate cha.. you're gonna be so proud of me..HEHE! syempre, para keh momi toh.. pero nakng naman.. sumulat ka na! *wapaks* waah, yung promise mo saken.. don't forget ^_^

System Time: 5:27 PM
.. now listening to my OPM folder.. gotta have new mp3s na.. hay.. getting tired listening to the same old stuff especially my alternative and acoustic list.. if only i had a CD-RW at home.. i'd copy all my p3s their and bring it here.. but since ala.. pwede na toh kesa sa wala..
..ikaw ang tunay na ligaya tanging ikaw sinta.. umaga't hapon kahit magdamag tanging ikaw sinta.. hindi magsasawa.. sa piling mooo uuwoohhh.. LOL!

System Time: 5:58 PM
yehey. laaast 2 minutes! 2 minutes more and i'll have internet access to post this blog... 2 minutes more and i'll log out and meet Ten² at the MRT station.. woohoo!

System Time: 5:59 PM
1 minute to go!
bye all!

System Time: 11:11 AM
..tongueeenahh.. tagal ng 6 pm. waah.bakasyon na bakasyon nuh ako. actually, la kami specific na pupuntahan ng family ko.. di kami tuloy sa Sagada huhuh.. ayaw ni mommy.. ayaw nilang bumiyahe papuntang north.. sabi ni daddy overnight na lang daw kami sa beach (malamang sa Quezon lang) or puntang Tagaytay.. basta kung san medyo malamig-lamig.. sobrang INIT khet sa bundok namen! lol! yung mga itik nga namin dun sa Paenaan e wawa, mga 15 na daw namamatay :( ..feeling ni daddy dhel sa init daw, nagkakaheat stroke sila..

...di ko parin tapos yung The Alchemist.. kagabi kasi nagchat lang ako di ko man lang nabuksan tong libro... ngayon gusto ko ngang basahin kaya lng tag 15 mins lang break taym.. baka nga mamayang lunch magbasa na lang ako, la naman akong ganang kumain.. haaay..

...sabi sa book, lahat ng tao meh Personal Legend, sabi nga dun, ...to realize one's destiny is a person's only obligation.. ano kaya personal legend ko,.. maybe yung tapusin ang lahat ng sinimulan ko.. ganon kasi ako.. puro simula.. pero di ko tinutuloy.. baka personal legend ko tong novel ko LOL!.. kasi pag natapos ko talaga toh, shet.. wow na para saken.. khet di siya mapublish or something like that.. yung feeling lang na nakatapos ako ng libro eh sobrang saya na..

System Time: 6:33 PM
nyek andito puh ko opis. bbay!

System Time: 9:36 AM
..wasn't able to post my blog yesterday.. dunno what's wrong with the company's internet connection last night but the blogger site just wouldn't load.. anywayz, i'll try again later at lunch time..

..been reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.. i'm still halfway through but i've already learned soo much.. 'bout faith, omens, dreams.. grabe.. super nice.. my sister bought this book ages ago and it's just this morning that i picked it up and read it.. even has some humor in it.. it's not that thick a book.. figured i could finish it later..

System Time: 5:21 PM
..been trying to continue my novel.. hay.. so i read my logs again with pc.. it still has the same effect for me.. he's like a ghost that keeps on haunting my soul.. if i were to pick one person in the entire world to be with.. i'd pick him. life's unfair... pero ganon talaga.. you can't have everything.. i try not to dwell on the what-ifs.. maloloka ka lang.. sabi nga sa The Alchemist,
"don't live in either your past or your future.. because life is the moment we're living right now.."

System Time: 5:41 PM
..it's weird that we always have to be reminded of our blessings... when something negative happens to us, we focus on that and lose vision of the things that are more important in life..

*wapaks sarili* ano buh toh. hehe.

but seriously.. sabi nga nila.. count your blessings, dibuh?.. thank God i have my family.. TG they're healthy hehe.. especially my parents.. TG for my friends, my job.. my headphones so that i could listen to my mp3s.. lol! and TG for my choco mallows to which i've been staring at for the past hour thinking i would enjoy eating it after dinner while watching DVDs at our 43" TV.. TG that my parents' room has airconditioning so that i could sleep without feeling uncomfortable because of the summer heat.. and TG for my sisters, though we're not the showy type.. i know that they love me and care for me, just as deeply as i love them.. and TG for our pet bird, mai-mai.. even if she can't speak a single english word, at least she knows how to say "tao po" and "kumain ka na?" hehe!!!

tama na tohh.. di ko na carry LoL! bye all!

my blog yesterday, April 14, 2003:
System Time: 2:56 PM
..yep, i'm not doing anything hehe. have finished ALL of my assigned forms.. so i'm trying to continue my logs-novel.. yahh.. still attempting to write that one.. thought i've forgotten about it, noh? it's always been on the back of my mind, but i've been really busy and haven't had the time to actually sit and write something.. i even read some articles like "How to Finish your novel", "What Makes a Story a Good Story", etc., etc.. one of the tips that i've gathered is for me to always have a notebook (specific only for my novel) with me so that i could jot down any ideas that i might have..
... still have some "outlining" to do.. brb

System Time: 5:54 PM
...Yehey nagsweldo! yehey meh incentive na kami dun! yehey lapit na uwian! yehey bibili ako new blouse (hehe) yehey ako lang mag-isa! (eh?) ..kainish mga kapatid ko, ayaw akong samahan huhuhu.. gusto ko kasi meh kasama pag bibili ako ng bagay na di puh ko sure kung anong itsura nya exactly.. pag mga tipong ilang beses ko na nakita and stuff, okey lng saken pero yung gagawin ko mamaya na maghahanap puh lang ng blouse, gusto ko meh kasama sana.. kaya lng ayaw nila waah. pero oks lng.. hintay ko lang 6 para mapost ko na toh.. 6 pm puh magkakainternet e.. hahay.. sige.. babayu!

System Time: 8:19 AM

...was so busy yesterday that i couldn't even attempt to write a blog..

..last night after work, i was able to try riding in the new MRT (it's called MegaTren.. corny).. it's okay.. more spacious than the present MRT.. but even if the ride took less than 5 minutes, (from cubao to santolan) i had a hard time getting a fx from santolan.. alanganin kasi.. tas siningil puh ako ng 15 bucks.. nYek. mas mahal magiging pamasahe ko from cubao.. libre puh kahapon sa MRT, pero yung magiging fare daw 12 bucks.. mamahal ako ng 7 pesos.. tas hirap puh sumakay pagbaba sa MRT, tas haba puh ng lalakarin from the old MRT to the new one.. eh fx sa cubao papuntang cogeo 20 bucks lang.. siguro kung pupunta lang akong sta.lucia mas okey mag MRT kasi ang bilis..

hu-hum..

..will start working on my form at 9 am.. still feel groggy.. stayed up late 'cause i was able to finish reading X-Men 2 (novelization based on the screenplay).. ganda nya.. galing kasi imagination ko hehe.. can't wait for the movie..

..will meet my pre-com friends later.. we're planning a briday shower for our friend, cherry.. she's going to be married on the 26th.. nyek..watdapak would i wear on her wedding? will hafto find a dress for that.. me in a dress? double nyek. -_-

System Time: 11:06 AM
..yey! finished my form..haven't tested it yet, though.. will make my test data later..

System Time: 1:09 PM
..hay keh sarap. sekwet ko na lang kung ano yun... :þ

System Time: 6:02 PM
..uy bilis ng oras.. babay!

System Time: 1:44 PM
...already finished my form.. its deadline is still on Thursday.. (nyeh).. thinking of handing it over, but it still needs to be standardized.. we've been given some new programming standards and some of my past codes were affected.. will do them later.. (read: pag sinapag ako)

...have already decided not to join ANY networking scheme.. being an employee is NOT so bad, you know.. my dad was able to bring us up by being one..i mean, we were able to go to private schools, buy us stuff we need.. etc., etc.. we're not rich but we've managed.. like my dad said, installment's the KEY, a loan..payable for a certain # of years.. your salary gets higher but the installment price doesn't.. so it gets easier.. i'll still be able to own a house, a car, etc.. my mind's full of plans.. business plans.. but i really need the capital for it.. so i kinda small-scaled my plans, made them more feasible..

System Time: 3:25 PM
.. had a meeting (useless one if i may add).. at least killed some of my pagpapanggap time..

System Time: 4:36 PM
..have been renaming my mp3 files.. (wow, ano?).. great time killer HEHE.. searching for shared mp3 files at our network and copying those that i like.. great finds: Tattooed on my Mind, Deep, Passenger seat, plus a lot of OPM songs.. hehe ..

System Time: 5:01 PM
..been reading past blogs again.. gwabe.. la na sa buhay ko si Pangs.. he became one of those "oh-yeah-i-know-him" kinda person, instead of being on the friends list.. it's partly my fault i guess, but he stopped calling me and i couldn't bring myself to call him.. i mean, watdapak would i say.. "ei, hello.. promises are meant to be broken, uh?".. plus i got really affected (HAHA, oo noh) when i found out he has a thing for this chatter.. so i decided, there and then.. that i've had enough of IRC people.. logged on once in a while but only talked to people whom i previously knew, never made an effort to get familiar with new chatters..
...si PC.. hay. totally different story. -_-

*yanks myself back to reality*

hafto stop thinking of the "what ifs".. promised myself to behave for momi.. i'm not doing anything wrong, anywayz.. just thinking..

..speaking of momi.. tried mailing my letter to him this morning.. freaking 7-11 didn't have any local stamps.. wanted to tell them "magsara na kayo!" but restrained myself and just plastered a smile in my face and said "ahh ok" .. i'll try later at a 7-11 in masinag..meaning bababa puh ako dun pag uwi? bukas na lng kaya.. hmm..)

..uy, just remembered that the new MRT is already open.. hmm.. from santolan to cubao.. try ko buh.. baka mahirapan ako pagdating ko sa santolan.. hmm.. the ride's still free 'til today.. hmmmm..

System Time: 6:01 PM
..yesss uwian na.. meh internet na rin.. our connection got restricted to these times.. before 8 am, 12-1pm and 6pm onwards.. gaah.. anywayz.. any kinda connection is good.. as long as i could post my blogs..
will post this blog now,, bye!

labyumomi!

wrote a letter for momi today.. hope i'll be able to mail it tomorrow.. yeah.. yeah, kami ulit..he also said that i should refrain myself from posting our story in my blog.. nasha-shy na ata siya e.. our love story is too exposed na raw hehe..

...my pre-com friends slept over last friday night in our house.. was really good to see them and do our usual cosmo talk (hehe).. the next day, we went to our farm-liit and i showed off our piglets (1 week old!) and the itiks.. dami pictures, hope i'll be able to ask erlyn for a copy so that i could scan them.. anywayz.. all is well, had a good weekend inspite of some UNFORTUNATE incidents that have happened. have programmed it in my mind as NEGLIGIBLE and INSIGNIFICANT happening in my life.. in short, i don't give a fuck.

momi.. kwento ko sayo yan pag nagkausap ulit tayo..has nothing to do 'bout us.. just some JERK i met in my life whom i wish i never did.. but in the mean time.. this song is for you. (ang-swit-ko lolz)

Everything
Lifehouse

find me here
speak to me
i want to feel you
i need to hear you
you are the light
that is leading me
to the place where
i find peace again
you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life to my soul
you are my purpose
you are everything

and how can i
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this

you calm the storms
you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
would you take me deeper now
'cause you're all i want
you are all i need
you are everything
everything

always yours, geri

My blog yesterday, April 1, 2003

System Time: 3:39 PM
...woah.. new month already? so MUCH stuff has happened.. don't know where to start my story..
have already been programming (seriously hehe) for the project.. most of the forms were only alloted a day/two to program .. am so happy 'cause i finished my first form (its deadline is today)..

...my kabarkada died last Saturday -_- ,.. she's my friend when i was in St.scho.. am not that very close to her, but we never had a misunderstanding or something like that.. whenever we see each other, we make kamusta and talk 'bout stuff happening in our lives.. i used to see her often when i was assigned in Miriam College where she used to study.. she died on a car accident.. actually,.. it's still not sinking in that she's really dead.. hay.. will go to her wake again after work..

..on other slightly happy news.. was able to talk to momi last sunday.. kainish lang.. 'cause i didn't realize that i wasn't saving my logs in IRC.. la tuloy ako.. grrr.. hay.. 'cause sometimes i read our logs when i want to cheer myself up.. just so i would know that he really exists and not just a figment of my imagination...

..will test my program again.... later

System Time: 5:04 PM
..already submitted my form and received another one today... deadline's tomorrow.. hay.. at least i got an early start..
gtg now bye!