that's what i am since yesterday. i don't know what has gotten into me.. is it the hormones? magkakaroon na ata kasi ako.. is it these books i'm reading? it's just freakin' chick-lit books! they're supposed to make me happy..
but yesterday, just a couple of minutes away from my parents' house.. it hit me. My Raymond is not here. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
he's there in Singapore, and i can't hug him, i can't kiss him.. i can't see his eyes, his face, touch him, squeeze him SHIIIIIIIIT. it took me a whole minute to breathe again. i was in the back of the shuttle and i had to squeeze my eyes and look above to keep from crying in front of these strangers. i said a convincing "Para po!" when it was my stop and staggered out of the van.
ano ba naisip ko bakit ko pinagtutulakang umalis si raymond? hello, okay naman kami! waaah i was being too greedy! so what kung wala kaming savings! buti nga hindi kami lubog. huhuhuh. hay.
talked to Pangs yesterday and i lost it. i bawled like a baby. i can't cry! he's the one always crying! (lol, pangs sorry) huhuhuhu. haaay. sorry pangs, i'm supposed to be the strong one.
this is probably just one of those bad days.. i'll have good days naman.. i've had them.. reading, blogging, watching tv.. even watching AI last night didn't cheer up. (oooh, this is bad)
*mukmoks sa tabi* lapit na July diba? sorry Pangs ko. I'll be insane if i don't write about this. I can't tell it infront of my friends, for fear of crying shamelessly. and i'm such a bad cryer. ugly. red nose, red eyes, ewwww.
i miss you pangs ko. *sighs*