Sunday, July 28, 2002

*** go_away is now known as ishtupeed

tsk. i am such a hypocrite! demmit. i keep on telling myself that its okay that he just thinks of me as his friend... who was i kidding... i mean...i shouldn't care who he calls right... we're just friends... i have no hold on him... he's not mine... and it sucks. it sucks because it hurts when it shouldn't... i shouldn't be hurting like this... demmmmmmittt! i'm such a fucking loser. i might as well have a big L printed on my forehead. OF COURSE i'm not the only one he calls or talks to... DUHH.. i'm so stupid...

as usual i'm just deluding myself that i'm someone special to him. (loser, loser, loser)

i'm so sick of this. i'm so sick of myself for not LEARNING. for allowing myself to get affected. it feels like i have a fucking incurable disease. it's just in my system. it's intrinsic.. it's second-nature.

/me cries.

the last time i cried was when i cried over my lost blog. i'm such a cry baby. (LOOOOOOSERRRRRRR)


i don't know what to do... now that i've realized i've fallen in love again to the wrong person. shit.

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