My blog yesterday, December 11, 2003

System Time: 10:50 AM
it's a sucky day 'cause i thought today was Friday and when i realized that it wasn't, got myself in a really bad mood 'cause it means that i still have work tomorrow.. lol..

remember my list of things i planned to do for the weekend? i didn't accomplish any of them except for the 'get-a-haircut' part.. last saturday after logging out of the office, had lunch by myself at the fudpark.. i decided to indulge a bit so i ate my fave japanese fud, tuna sashimi.. also bought tofu steak which i didn't finish (as usual).. ate chary and i were supposed to meet around 4 pm, but it was still just past 1 so decided to "hang-out" at Landmark/Glorietta.. THAT was a mistake.. i spent my money (a lot of em) on make-up and perfume.. shitttt.. couldn't help myself.. i had the cash and the time.. i knew it was a mistake to withdraw my money from the bank.. waaaaaaaah.. now i have zilch savings again.. *wapaks* .. texted my sister by 3:00 pm begging her to meet me already 'cause i've already spent 3K .. we met an hour later and STILL i had to make my perfume purchase (which doubled my spendings to 6k, all in less than 4 hours).. *sighs* we went to GB3 where starrunner was supposedly shown but the film was no longer there! waah. *bigoooo*
.. but i'm quite pleased with the stuff i bought.. (well, except for the smashbox powder blush which is pretty tricky to put on because of the dark color..little by little i'm getting the hang of it..)
my first purchase for the day was a Clinique pore minimizer t-zone shine control cream..i wanted to buy a clinique blush that the mag, Preview, recommended but i couldn't find it in the shop.. so i opted to buy a smashbox one.. after that i went back to Landmark and bought a Loreal Ideal Balance powder/foundation, a Loreal out of bed lasting messed up effect fibre putty and a couple of other things (make up brushes, kikay kit for ate ging, presents for my pamangkins, etc).. the perfume i bought is a Carolina Herrera, 212..has a sporty scent that i absolutely love.. also dropped by Powerbooks and bought Trading Up (which i am currently reading...am only 3/4s finished) by Candace Bushnell.. .. last night we picked up ate ging at the airport.. she won't be going back to Indonesia for a while.. think the project she's involved there is already finished.. i showed her my new stuff and she said.."enough girly magazines for you!" * 'cause i base my buying decisions on the magz* lol.. well it's her fault anyway, why i got hooked up in these stuff.. she said "you can't afford these..." which is true. i can't. my only excuse is that it's the christmas season and i finally HAD the extra money to buy stuff, so i did..after this, i'm back on my freakishly-uptight budget, barely surviving till the next paycheck.. (which is just enough for my food, transpo, monthly payments and a couple of toiletries)..sometimes i wonder how it would feel like to be successful...and if i'll ever become one..if i'm driven enough, motivated enough...every question seem to point at one big NO..especially in days like these when i would feel soo damn lazy to do anything..buying things have become a motivating force for me..just like when i was a child when i had to have new school things just so my father would get me to go to school.. at least now i could buy stuff for myself..

*sighs* i know i'm still young but lately i've been feeling the opposite.. i feel as if i have no time left to accomplish things and make something of my life.. or maybe because i'm envious of my other classmates who already are successful today and i'm feeling pressured with their achievements.. OR as a friend once told me.. am just making my own hell,.. i'm luckier than every unemployed person and should be realistic in my expectations.. i AM only 23 and money isn't everything.. (*iwas sa kidlat*) hay.. am just so f*cking bored, ranting 'bout stuff i hardly understand..

System Time: 2:39 PM
ookayy.. just remembered that tomorrow is my cousin's wedding so i'm taking a leave at work.. yeyyyyyy! THAT has kept me from going home before 6 pm.. and the fact that i want to watch Alias episodes this saturday instead of going to work to offset my absences.. i ALMOST didn't get my project incentive for November.. Ma'am Q called me up and said i exceeded the limit of 19 hours, thus, the incentive wont be given to me.. i didn't know that when there are holidays for the month, the 20 hour limit is pro-rated.. so i based my time in/outs on 20 hours instead of 19.. i exceeded by a measly hour...TG i mentioned something 'bout going to work on a saturday, so that kindof set the limit back to 20.. *whew* anyway, i'm taking Ma'am Qs advice.. she said.. "wag mo kasing i-eksakto!" onga naman.. this month i already have 4 hours.. so plus tomorrow, that's 12 hours.. tama na yun, di na ako aabsent..

System Time: 2:54 PM
...just called kuya rony at Nestle.. he texted me and asked if i already knew that Froi (my batchmate) is already assigned at Nestle.. la ko load (as usual) so i called him at his office..

i knew instantly that it was Alain who answered the phone, but didn't acknowledge him and asked for kuya rony.. anyway, to make a long story short, he also knew that I was the one calling.. he asked how i was doing and i answered in my usual 'okay lang'.. i could tell he wanted to talk a bit more but i promised myself to keep my relationship with him truly platonic so i just said , "sige na..babay" and hung up.. God.. how can it be possible to be sexually attracted to another just at the sound of one's voice.. after hanging up, my heart was racing and my mind was.. well.. it was thinking of stuff that it shouldn't be thinking about..i just had to put the phone down or else i might realize how much i miss him.. i even miss seeing how nice his wedding ring looks in his hand (he has SUCH lovely hands) .. i couldn't even LOOK at it before 'cause i felt like it was some kind of spy thrown on us.. but then i would think of momi and how lucky i am to have him.. he trusts me and i just cannot let him down anymore..

System Time: 4:18 PM
..less than 2 hours to go.. think i'm gonna get a facial later.. dami ko na blackheads ewww..i still don't have anything to wear for tomorrow.. ate lala's INSISTing i wear i dress but i'll probably wear ate ging's semi-see through blouse with long sleeves and unequal hem with my best slacks.. besides, i'm gonna be lugging a camcorder around and it would be inconvenient to wear a dress..

System Time: 4:52 PM
bwahaha di ko na kayaaa.. uwi na ako at 5 pm.. di ko na kayang mapanggap for another hour.. sige.. babu!