Tuesday, August 24, 2010

...major, major thinking

yeah, i know.. i've jumped on the bandwagon.. but i can't help it! i'm hooked. majorly hooked. hehe. in an interview, Venus Raj said 'nagdala daw ng karangalan sa bansa ang 'major, major' nya'.. i can't help but think.. 'Hello,,.. you ALREADY brought pride for our country WHEN you were announced top 5.. it was the major major that caused your downfall lol.'

oh well.. you win some, and you major major lose some.

napaisip tuloy ako kung ano ba ang biggest mistake ko sa buhay ko. i've made a lot of mistakes.. but nothing (okay, i have to say it! i told you i can't help it) major major too. i definitely know the turning points in my life.. choices that i have made which significantly altered my life. i don't regret any of my decisions, but of course, somewhere (really really) deep inside of me, i'm still curious for the what-ifs. sometimes i want to have a magic looking mirror of some sort where i can just SEE what could've been,.. not necessarily LIVE this alternate life for i know these changes might lead me away from my husband and tsugtsug.. stuff like, what if i accepted this other job.. or if i studied a different course.. (i'm keeping the juicier/controversial choices in my head)

*sighs* i must still be hormonal for being this melancholy. i'm just missing pangs. and some adult conversation. i've been cooped up in our house.. i'm actually only able to see my friends when pangs is here.. its hard to leave tsug alone with my mom.. sometimes she makes me feel like an irresponsible parent if i leave tsug to her.. she's right at some points though.. i'm the parent, i have to take care of my kid.. so that's that. we've already had an argument about it. (which turned really nasty, btw, so i just don't want her to have anything more to say about my parenting style).. oh oh.. i might have just remembered a huuuuge mistake in my life.. teaching my mom facebook and farmville/farmtown. *rolls eyes* .. you have no idea how addicted she is. NO IDEA.

at least i'm with my dad.. i love the time we spend together when we drive tsug to his school.. he's been teaching me to drive again,.. so we drive around the village and then we run some errands before we fetch tsug again at school.. i realize how my dad is getting older.. and i'm happy i can spend this time with him.

weird.. i'm getting teary eyed for no reason. count my blessings, that's what my mom said. buti nga daw dito meh katulong ako, halos wala na daw akong ginagawa. well that's true.. at least i have no household chores to do. but i think i'd much rather do the dishes if it means i can sleep with my husband beside me at night.

haaay. this sucks. major major.

1 comment:

beng said...

major major hormones mare. =P

but yeah, napapaisip din ako minsan. the decisions i've made led me to this life. ano kaya kung may parallel universe where iba ang naging decision ko?