Friday, June 06, 2008 i know

motherhood brings about tons of realizations..

first is how friggin tough it is. i decided to room-in tsugtsug on my 2nd night at the hospital, despite the strong advice of my friends and cousins against it. it was definitely hard, being responsible for the little one so soon after giving birth.. i still had painful uterine contractions, and my stitches were definitely hurting.. i think my argument then was, at least we're in the hospital where help was just a buzz away. thinking back, i'm not positive if i would've done the same thing. it was just too much responsibility, too fast! i couldn't rest at all, same for my mom and pangs. but i believe it really helped us to gain confidence as first time parents.. how to carry tsugtsug, change nappies, then a midwife showed us how to bathe him.. and most importantly was the breastfeeding. we (tsugtsug and me) were able to practice our latching.. latching is definitely the hardest part in breastfeeding.. being with him in his first few days where he didn't need that much food yet, i didn't feel any pressure at all that i was starving him. i can't imagine doing it for the first time at home! i remember during the first week, i was trying to pump milk but there was just so little.. then i stood up and left the bottle with the pump on the rocking chair.. when i got back, the milk leaked thru the bottle and 3/4s was gone.. i cried and cried and raymond and my mom had to calm me down.. i was just so friggin exhausted and frustrated then..what came to my mind though was "it's no use crying over spilled milk".. LITERALLY. then i calmed down a bit. hehehe.

another realization is.. i'm so glad i've read and researched about childcare and breastfeeding. there's just too much varying opinions from the oldies! you wouldn't believe how formula advocates the oldies are. lol. as in. they could become med reps for milk companies. tsugtsug was weighed on his 10th day and he lost a pound and everyone was like "WHAT? WHY? GINUGUTOM MO!" i honestly wasn't worried because i've read that babies do lose some birth weight on his first two weeks (especially breastfed babies) but i was beginning to get paranoid too with everyone clamoring for formula! i gave in eventually, but he only gets formula about once/twice a day when he cries in the middle of feeding for no apparent reason. (sometimes, napupupu lang pala! naiiyak sa pag iire nya). anyway, it's not just the formula.. they have opinion about everything from pacifiers to giving water to using bigkis! but good thing about my mom, she reads the books i show her so there are less arguments.

first 2 weeks, raymond, my mom and myself were taking care of the baby and we were all so sleep deprived. we were staying at our house where there was no cable tv, we had to make do with the shitty tv reception. sobrang walang tulog i was able to watch from unang hirit to dramarama to telebabad to the station sign off. pag 1:30 am i would look at tsugtsug and say.. now what? lol! also, while watching dyesebel (we can only get channel 2 and 7), there was a dialogue na "anong ginawa nila sa mukha mo dyesebel?" the 3 of us were like "huh? bakit? ano nga ginawa sa mukha eh pareho lang?". we couldn't see that half her face had scars because of the snowy reception nyahaha. (tapus black and white lang! minsan nagiging colored pag natatamaan ng electric fan ata hahaha) later on, we would watch dvds from 1-5 (twilight hour) then raymond would jump up and down in the middle of a movie and say "2:00 am pa lang!!!!". I remember Ate lala's song to us "Kay tagal, ng umagaaaaaaaaa" hehe. it sure felt like that every single day. There were times I wanted to quit breastfeeding because it felt so unfair.. everyone else was asleep (including tsugtsug..human pacifier ako nyan eh!) whereas I was trying to stay awake in fear of smothering tsugtsug with my boob. (urban legend lang ba yun?)

now that tsugtsug is a month old, i have more or less adjusted to his moods.. and to his schedule..from 1-6,i can usually sleep 4 hours.. we're 1 hour awake when i'm nursing.. i still can't put him down on his crib to sleep (what a waste of money!) but as long as he sleeps on my chest, he can sleep for 3 hours straight.. on afternoons its a different story.. sometimes he cries so much for no apparent reason it drives me nuts! just like today, minsan sinasabayan ko sya ng iyak hahaha. kaloka. i worry why he hasn't pooped, i worry if i'm starving him.. i worry about his rashes in his face and on his chest and on his neck... dati binibilang ko pa! lol! wawa eh, ang dami huhuhu.

i've also realized how much crap i've bought for tsugtsug.. the crib sucks! lol. i should've bought the one with a real bassinet (the round one) cause he seems to be lost in the hugeness of the bassinet we bought for him.. now i bought a separate bassinet which he barely uses as well.. oh well.. i'm still hoping he'll use it sooner or later..

last but definitely not the least realization.. that this little person is completely dependent on me.. its so scary!

tomorrow's his checkup. i'm excited to know how much he weighs now. my wrists hurt so much from carrying him, feels like i have permanent carpal tunnel syndrome.

yun muna.. 2 weeks in the making ang post na toh hehe. bye for now.


theworkingmom said...

Oldies are like that. They've been through it kasi, so they think they know better. A lot of times they do, but they also do not accept that things have changed.

Enjoy your motherhood! You're doing fine!


harbie said...

*takes down notes* hahaha!

uy mare, it's probably hormonal imbalance din kaya mabilis ka magreact. hmmm, either that, or you just became a drama queen. hahha! just kiddin'! ;-)

can't wait to see you guys in Dec! =)

janeius said...

*takes down notes too* hehe =D

by the way.. i watched an episode of oprah a couple of months ago about baby talk.. on how you can tell what the baby needs by the type of 'cry' or sound they make.. (hahaha.. sound daw ba) =p

here's a link..

Beverly said...

wowwww! congrats geri! you are doing great! wala akong masabi. i know how difficult it is, kaya bilib ako sa tiyaga mong magbreastfeed! hehe.

geWi said...

thanks joey, bevs!

harbie..kelan sa december ka uwi? baka magkasalitan na naman tayo!

janey.. tiningnan ko yung link, bibili pa ng dvd ehehe.. sana nakita ko yun before.. bilhin mo pag ikaw na uh tas hihiramin ko na lang seyu haha!

tin said...

congratulations! i am so glad to hear your husband made it to your baby's birthday.
yup, normal for babies to lose weight on his first few days... he'll regain it soon enough.
you really do not have to use formulas... breastmilk is really the best for babies... and having your baby breastfeed to the last drop will increase milk production hehehe... kaya yan! kulitin mo pedia mo if in doubt with anything. enjoy each day with your angel... record the sound he makes each month tapos birthday gift mo yun sa kanya pag 21 na sya hehehe... or i play mo sa wedding nya :)

Mec said...

exclusively breastfed babies are seldom constipated.... so baka the once a day formula pa is what irritates your baby's tummy?

sis... we roomed in my son the same day I gave birth to him, and though it was very hard talaga, it was also very empowering as well... and liberating!

anyway, good luck sa inyo ni Tsugtsug :) may you continue breastfeeding him successfully... may Tsugtsug thrive... and though it's hard to see light on the horizon just yet, things do get better in time (or the challenges at least change)...

oh and kami din, sooooo many things bought that Yakee didn't like... 1/4 ng bahay, unused items and what-not nya...

geWi said...

elow mec! hindi pala constipated tlga, parang yugn bituka lang daw tlga minsan, tamad magfunction kaya nagiging once a day lang. kasi ang lambot naman ng pupu eh! tulad din ng dati, super duper dami lang (siguro iniipon lol)

thanks! sana nga dumali na ng konti hehe.